"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Obama's An Idiot Main Page

Thursday, August 02, 2007

With You? Not A Problem...

No sex, please, you're a carnivore.
A new phenomenon in New Zealand is taking the idea of you are what you eat to the extreme.

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.
[...]
Both of these morons need a good slap upside the head with a T-bone.



If I wasn't meant to eat meat, I wouldn't have been born with incisors.
If I wasn't meant to hunt prey, I would have been born with my eyes on the side of my head instead of forward looking stereo vision.
If I was meant to eat nothing but weeds, grass and cabbage, I would have been designed with a totally different digestive system. Perhaps seven stomachs akin to ole' Bossy out there in the barn, so's I could chew, swallow to stomach one, regurgitate, chew, swallow to stomach two, regurgitate, repeat until ... well, you know.

I'm not saying us carnivores - a club of which I am proud to be a member of - should eat nothing but meat, but I am saying we are red-blooded creatures, and not green sap flowing foliage with brains (save for a rather large accumulation of Democrats) who obtain strength and stamina from proper nutrition. A good chunk of that nutrition coming from meat.

So in short, you eat what you want to eat, I'll eat what I want to eat. And if you don't like what it is that I eat, go fuck yourself.

As for screwing someone who eats meat, if you look like the couple in the above photo, you have much bigger problems than being composed of animal protein.


That's all I got to say about thayat.





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Whatta Maroon

I ain't going to comment on Michael Vick or his stupidity of fighting dogs. That has already been beat to death around the world. I will say that if there isn't a special place in hell for people who purposefully mistreat and abuse animals, there should be. And with any luck he'll end up there.

But this article gave me a chuckle:
PITTSBURGH (AP) -- A newspaper reporter who said Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick would have been "better off raping a woman" than being charged with dogfighting has apologized and will no longer appear on the local sports panel TV show where he made the remark.
[...]

"It's really a sad day in this country when somehow ... Michael Vick would have been better off raping a woman if you look at the outcry of what happened," Zeise said. "Had he done that, he probably would have been suspended for four games and he'd be back on the field. But because this has become a political issue, all of a sudden the commissioner has lost his stomach for it."
[...]
Well? It's true innit?

Take a look around. Some of the shit these big-time athletes get away with nowadays is just amazing. They have money. The major sports organizations have money. The sponsors have money. And they all stand to lose it if their star athlete don't play the game. So my guess is there is either a settlement or a pay-off of some sort most of the time.

But, one way or the other, sportscasters or commenters just can't do dumbassery or say stupid shit on teevee and not get fired.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Don't understand, hope u can help"
Understand this: Fuck off.




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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Yaawwwwnnnnn...

Lawdy. The blog world is just plumb droll today.




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AAHHHH!!!!

Study debunks full-moon injury beliefs

AP - Tue Jul 31, 6:21 PM ET Sent 232 times

VIENNA, Austria - Ever whacked your thumb with a hammer, or wrenched your back after lifting a heavy box, and blamed the full moon? It's a popular notion, but there's no cosmic connection, Austrian government researchers said Tuesday.
[...]
Again I say, "No Shit!"

And again I say, quit wasting money on useless shit and do something useful with it you dumb-ass losers.

Gawd-a-mighty!



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From The "No Shit!" Files

Yet another useless study:
Why people have sex: It feels good

AP - 2 hours, 57 minutes ago Sent 716 times

WASHINGTON - After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations. It's more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart.
[...]
Good gawd people. Get a life!

Do you honestly think the so-called "young men and women" are fucking because they want kids?

Quit wasting money on this shit and do something useful.



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Sad

Real sad:
Clinton pulls ahead in new poll

1 hour, 24 minutes ago

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Hillary Clinton has widened her lead over fellow Sen. Barack Obama in the race for the U.S. Democratic presidential nomination, a new poll showed on Wednesday.
[...]
Come on you useless democrat fucks. Can't you come up with any better candidates than her?

That fucking useless, lying piece of shit crook is going to be representing the democratic party in the presidential race. I have no doubt.

How soon they forget.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"them in coffee"
Why, I think I will have a cup.



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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

What Happens Here Stays Here

If you google "infectious diseases", and the name of a town, you should get a result from the ever helpful AOL akin to this:


BWAH!!!

In case you were wondering, the Amargosa Valley is located in a county where prostitution is legal, and is home to several whore houses.


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Spam Subject Of The Day

"< CI@L|6] IS A REA\ "
That's just a bit too convoluted.




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Monday, July 30, 2007

They Say It's Your Birthday

That's right. Today I am a year older.

Happy friggin' b-day to ME!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


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Was This A Peek Into The Future?

I always like to watch Red Skelton's show. He was a hoot. But I don't recall seeing this little skit.

Anyway, we need more politicians to think this way:
Red Skelton's "Pledge of Allegiance" was first introduced on the Red Skelton Show on January 14, 1969. It has since been twice read into the congressional record of The United States and has received numerous awards.


Watch the whole. The last couple sentences hit you right between the eyes.




Here's the link if it doesn't show up proper.


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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Thank for your time"
Yeah, fuck off.




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Friday, July 27, 2007

BWAH! [snort]



For some ungawdly reason, Deb gave me a schmoozer award.
If "schmooze" means to bitch about every little thing that comes your way, or maybe to talk about useless shit and make inane comments, then hey! I guess I am definitely a schmoozer!

Another definition is "chatting idly". Well now, chatting idly is what I do best around here, so maybe she has me pegged.


Well anyway, the idea of this thing is to spread the award like so much syphilis,and choose 5 other blogs which I consider to have the power of the schmooze.

So let's see now. The first that comes to mind would be Jean. She likes to put you in a different dimension every now and then, and then before you know it, like the crisp snap of a wishbone, you're right back to reality.

Next on the list is Greg. Although he'll probably tell me to go fistfuck myself, I enjoy the hell out of his very entertaining writing, and I have a hunch that there ain't many more people who would more of a hoot to prop up an elbow and shoot some shit with.


Third on the list is The Princess. Woman cracks me the hell up sometimes. Another one who I think would be a hoot to bend an elbow with.

Another one who will probably tell me to take this award and poke it up the cornhole sideways, but yet never ceases to give me a good chuckle, Squid. If you can get past that gawd-awful wallpaper, you will be entertained with the posts. Sorry Squid, that shit gives me a headache.

And last but definitely not least, Pooke. Her and her hubby both post on their blog, but she seems to do more than he. Sometimes there is a dry spell over there, but when they get back into the groove, it is worth a read.
And how can I not tag someone else who also has me pegged so well?:
"...[Curmudgeon] I believe may have been me had I been graced with a dick, a shotgun, and Jack Daniels in my Snoopy Thermos."
BWAH!!! That still cracks me the hell up!

Okay folks, there you go. Sorry if you're agin' passing these along. No biggy. Do what you will.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Alert: Your 1oan Approval."
Nice. And I didn't even apply! WOOHOO!




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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Woops

Girl seeking counseling gets sex line


AP - Wed Jul 25, 7:47 PM ET

LAKE CITY, Fla. - The state attorney general's office removed the toll-free number for a sexual assault counseling center from its Web site after an 8-year-old girl was connected instead to a sex chat line.
[...]
Talk about scarred for life.

Oh well. Her parents - or parent (the one that don't go to jail) will be set from the the law suit that I'm sure will follow.



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Oh Really?

HMO faces $3M fine for lax oversight

AP - 41 minutes ago Avg. Rating: 4.6

OAKLAND, Calif. - Health care provider Kaiser Permanente faces a $3 million fine for what state regulators say were haphazard investigations into patient complaints and physician performance. It was the second rebuke in a year for the nation's largest HMO.
[...]
Gee. That's a surprise. As crooked as HMO's are.

I know, you gotta have insurance. That's a given. And most people don't have money to go out and buy any sort of private insurance, so they use an HMO. Which usually sucks. Might as well have socialized medicine in place. Surely the government knows how to run a medical business better than an HMO. [snicker]

BWAH!!!! I crack myself up!


Updated: I stumbled upon this little funny here:

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"




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Oddness

Nursing home cat can sense death

Reuters - 33 minutes ago Avg. Rating: 4.6

CHICAGO (Reuters) - When Oscar the Cat visits residents of the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island, the staff jumps into action -- Oscar can sense within hours when someone is about to die.
[...]
Okay, that's nice and all, but what if you're one of the nurses sitting there doing your paperwork and kitty decides to curl up next to your feet on the floor.

I dunno about you, but I would be fucking freaking.




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BAN SPORTS!

Girl, 12, dies after softball accident

Thu Jul 26, 6:07 AM ET

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A 12-year-old softball player was knocked unconscious when a ball hit her in the head during practice, and she died a day later, police and family said.
[...]
Unless maybe it's competitive knitting. We shouldn't be putting kids in harm's way like that.

What's the world coming to anyway?




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"caulk and cogent a beefsteak see checkerberry not ..."
Yeah. I know exactly what you mean!




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