Someone has to acept the blame

Well I've been looking, but I still haven't seen the article. I'm sure it will turn up. You know, the one where American overindulgence caused the tsunami?

I'm sure it will read something like:
"Scientists have recently learned from extremely detailed close-up satellite photographs that the recent tsunami disaster caused by the earthquake near Indonesia was the result of greedy Americans driving their SUV's.
As we are all aware, SUV's consume massive amounts of fossil fuels. This leaves enormous caverns beneath the earth's crust which are very prone to collapse, which could cause shifting of the earth's crust, creating an earthquake region.
The greenhouse gasses created from burning these fossil fuels are then dispersed into the atmosphere allowing a higher level of sunlight to pass through the atmosphere, causing the earth to warm excessively on the sunlit side.
The glacier caps of the northern and southern poles have been decreased substantially due to the excessive warming as a result of the enlarged hole in the ozone layer, again caused from the greenhouse gases emitted from the gas guzzling, consumerist driven, capitalistic Americans. The resulting shift of weight from the poles the oceans creates a less stable section of bedrock on the earth's crust.
We are all aware of the expansion of solids caused by heat, and since there is more expansion on the sunlit side of the planet due to an expanded hole in the ozone layer, caused by the greenhouse gases, emitted by capitalist SUV's, the sunlit portion of the earth has now become less stable than the 'dark' side of the planet. This could also cause shifting of the earth's crust, again creating an earthquake region.
Now with all of these combined conditions existing, we have secret underwater nuclear testing which took place just off the shores of Indonesia. The massive explosion of which rattled the unstable crust. This caused the bedrock to slip causing an earthquake with a magnitude of 9+."