"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Hygiene 101

  • 1- Go to the dentist and get your teeth cleaned.
  • 2- Floss every day. Food rots in between your teeth causing breath to be very offensive.
  • 3- Brush your tongue every time you brush your teeth.
  • 4- Use mouthwash.
  • 5- Stop drinking coffee on a regular basis. Coffee causes horrible breath.
  • 6- The small crevasses on your tonsils can collect food which may rot and turn white. These little white balls of rotten food can cause horrible, offensive breath and a bad tasting mouth. You may try pushing out this white stuff in your tonsils with a Q-tip. Be extra careful or have your doctor help.
  • 7- Stop using sugar based breath fresheners to hide your breath. Sugar may cause yeast build up which bacteria thrive off of, making your breath worse. Be careful of too much aspartame (Nutra Sweet), it could cause health problems.
  • 8- Cut your fingernails and toenails.
  • 9- Clean under your fingernails and and toenails with a small brush.
  • 10- Cut or pluck your nose hair.
  • 11- Clean inside and behind your ears.
  • 12- Shave your hairy ears
  • 13- Wash your butt hole. It may get exposed more than you think during sex
  • 14- Clean the inside of your belly button with soap and a wash cloth.
  • 15- Shave the back of your neck
  • 16- If you have bumps on your face or neck from shaving, ask your doctor for Retin-A.
  • 17- Push out all those blackheads on your nose or use a peeling strip from the drug store.
  • 18- Use a petroleum based lip conditioner or olive oil for your lips.
  • 19- Know the difference between "anti-perspirant" and "deodorant".
  • 20- Throw away your old, stained underwear and buy some new ones.
This goes for you too guys.

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