"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A Funny

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
A). A '65 Ford Fairlane
B). A '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
C). A '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine an hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. Three men have chainsaws which operate at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many cans of beer will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet.
The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. How many dogs will be killed when the porch collapses?

6. A man owns a house on 3.7 acres of land in a holler with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?




2 comments:

jt said...

Apparently you have been down my holler...

Oh, and if you put the still next to a creek you won't need any car radiators. Just some heat

curmudgeon said...

If there's a creek handy, that is most beneficial!