"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Monday, March 12, 2007

A Funny

Here's a new one on me.

While there are many common names for guys abusing themselves; "Yanking the crank", "Whacking off", "Choking the chicken" and so on, I've never seen or heard such a complete list for the private sessions women have. So without further delay, here you have it:
The many names for female masturbation:

3 Point Shot
A Night in With the Girls
Airing the Orchid
Auditioning the Finger Puppets
Beat the Beaver
Beating Around the Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking for Squirrels
Clam Bake for One
Cleaning your Fingers
Coming Into Your Own
Countering Cunts
Coming Into Your Own
Cunt Cuddling
Dialing the Rotary Phone
Digging a Trench
Doing your Nails
Dousing the Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging in Safe Sex
Erasing the Problem
Fanning the Fur
Feeding the Bearded Clam
Feeding your Slot
Fiddling the Bean
Finger Blasting
Flickin' the Bean
Flit your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging the Clam
Gagging the Lips of Love
Genital Stimulation via Phalangetic Motion
Get a Lube Job
Get To Know Yourself
Get a Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Groping the Grotto
Greasing your Hips
Grissle Rub
Gusset Typing
Having Sex With Someone you Love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to Heaven
Hitchhiking Under the Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let Your Fingers do the Walkin'
Levy Break Limbo
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling the Void
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Pampering the Pussy
Parting the Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet the Petunia
Pet the Pussy Cat
Polishing the Nugget
Polishing the Peanut
Polishing the Pearl
Play Poker
Play the Clitar
Play Couch Hockey for One
Play the Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing with Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With the Man in the Boat
Pushing the Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding the Unicycle
Rolling the Dough
Rubbin' the Nubbin
Rubbing the Donut
Rubbing the Red Pussycat
Scoring the Hoop
Slapping the Mackerel
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit
Spearing the Bearded Clam
Squeeze the Peach
Strumming the Banjo
Surfing the Channel
Teasing the Kitty
Teasing the Tuna Taco
Testing the Plumbing
The Virgin's Release
Tickling the Taco
Tiptoe Through the TwoLips
Toggling the Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing your Fingers

Because you needed to know.



Scottsdale Girl said...

Muffin Buffin!
That one cracked me up

OK was that pic taken at "The Compound" somewhere along the UT AZ state line?

curmudgeon said...

Hmm. Not sure where it was taken.
I just snagged it.

Something about 'jerkoffs' inspired me.

Erica said...


That is hysterical...dude, I am *so* gonna use that one (do not read into that).

curmudgeon said...

Yeah, sure.
I know what you mean ;)

The Stormin Mormon said...

"3 Point Shot"

Not a fair comparison. Shooting three pointers is way easier... ;-)

curmudgeon said...

True dat!

Lee said...

Jocelyn Eldering?!



curmudgeon said...

I questioned that one too. I guess I should look it up.