Shit!

From Yahoo!

"Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton Collapses, Recovers"

Maybe next time we'll have better luck.

Spam Subject of the Day

More and more celebreties.

"Katherine Heigl already has a rolax! Ordeere yours! carriage"

Sorry, I just don't give a shit

Iraq Voting

Just a quick thought here. I'm sure this will be covered quite extensively in numerous other blogs, but I was thinking about the elections in Iraq. I don't know that many details - like what difference whoever gets elected will make, but I do know it is a proud moment in their history to be able to vote again.
But they aren't able to just drive to the local elementary school, park on the curb and walk in and vote. No, they get to park a mile or so away, if they are driving, then they get to be searched by police who are in danger of their lives from suicide bombers. All of this while avoiding terrorist threats, bullets and bombs. Now even with all this going on, they still had roughly a 60% voter turnout there.

Here in the United States, where there is no fear of dying just to cast a vote, and where it is our right as a citizen to vote, we a 55.3% turnout of the voting age population.

Goes to show just how important almost half of our population thinks elections are. Almost half of our population basically don't give a shit who's in office, until after it's all over with. At which time, they will bitch about what a sorry government we have and how the elected officials are ruining our lives and the world.

This Is Fun

People from snow country (especially boys) will appreciate it a lot more than others:

Write your name in the snow!

Gun Control Zealots

Michael Z. Williamson has a farily good listing of idiotarion beliefs on Gun Control.
Here are a few excerpts:

It's amazing what one has to believe
to believe in gun control

"That guns contribute to high death rates and should be banned, but tobacco and alcohol are okay.

That guns cause crime, which is why there has never been a mass slaying at a gun show.

That guns cause crime, just like matches cause arson.

That guns cause crime, just like women cause prostitution.

That guns cause crime, just like penises cause rape

Guns cause crimes, just like flies cause garbage."

There's oh so much more. It would behove you to peruse it.

Fat Smokers Beware

Health Care Company That Fired Smokers Also Targeting Fat:

"Weyers Won't Fire Employees For Obesity

POSTED: 10:20 am EST January 27, 2005

A Michigan health care company that fired four employees for smoking is also targeting fat.
Howard Weyers, the founder of Weyco Inc., said he wants to tell fat workers to lose weight or else, Reuters reported."

This bullshit is way out of hand. No company should be able to dictate lifestyle, especially when it happens on personal time, like at home. If this company is allowed to get away with firing smokers, it will open the door for firing people for a much broader range of lifestyle choices.
Take for example, the fact they now want to 'discriminate' against overweight people. And I call it discrimination, because that's what it is. They say they don't want to bear the burden of the costs associated with unhealthy living. They're an insurance company, they know how to charge higher premiums for higher risk groups. Or cancel the coverage completely. But to fire them? Wrong. In so many ways. Wrong.

My question is this: Where do we draw the line?
Tobacco has been know as unhealthy for forever. Insurance companies charge higher premiums for tobacco users. I'm not surprised. It's a higher risk category, just like a teenage driver is a higher risk category than a 40 year old mother of three.
But so is booze. Alcohol has been known to be bad for health for years. It's also bad for driving, but that's a whole 'nuther scenario.
Let's hash out a few other 'unhealthy' things you can do. Let's add fried foods. How about salt? Dairy products? Red meat? Bungee jumping? ATV's? Indiscriminate sex? Not that any of them are necessarily unhealthy in limited quantites, but how much is tolerable according to the insurance nazis?
These are all things that could 'damage' you to where the company has to pay out a bunch of money for hospital bills if you overindulge.

What's next? Do you have to sign a waiver upon getting hired stating you will not smoke, drink, eat french fries, ride your motorcycle, screw without a condom or hang the Christmas lights using a ladder?

The government has too many laws 'protecting' us already, and now the insurance companies are chiming in.
I'm really getting sick of this shit.

Spam Subject of the Day

Huh?!

"Now same da-y shjipping-bast phamra out there! ascetic"

Yup. That makes sense.

This Day in History

From The History Channel site:

CHALLENGER EXPLODES:
January 28, 1986

"At 11:38 a.m. EST, on January 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger lifts off from Cape Canaveral, Florida, ....

Seventy-three seconds later, hundreds on the ground, including Christa's family, stared in disbelief as the shuttle exploded in a forking plume of smoke and fire. Millions more watched the wrenching tragedy unfold on live television. There were no survivors"

Many people remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news of the Kennedy assassination, Elvis's death and John Lennon's assassination. Many more, including me, will remember the first shuttle tragedy the same way.

Liberal Quiz

You might be a liberal if …

You think that protestors outside nuclear power plants are dedicated activists, but protestors outside abortion clinics are dangerous zealots interfering with a legal activity.

You believe that more federal regulations will make your life better.

You believe that even though the top 20 percent of taxpayers pay 80 percent of income taxes, that the rich are not paying their “fair share.”

You think that Rush Limbaugh’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Michael Moore.

You believe that the network news is a better indicator of what “real” news is than talk radio, Internet news sites, and blogs.

You believe that there was never, ever a problem with biased news coverage until Fox News went on the air.

You believe that Mikhail Gorbachev deserves more credit for losing the Cold War than Ronald Reagan deserves for winning it.

You mentally subtract 100 points from someone’s IQ if the person speaks with a Southern accent.

You think that Dan Rather got a raw deal.

You think that the phrase “separation of church and state” is in the Constitution.

You pride yourself on your global awareness, global sensitivity and global outlook, but can’t name your state legislator or school board representative.

You are dedicated to helping the poor, the downtrodden and the less fortunate, but you have never given blood.

You believe that a woman should make it on her own, without depending on her husband (except for Hillary Clinton).

You believe that professional, working women should never be judged on their appearance (except for Katherine Harris).

You believe that rich people should not be allowed to contribute so much money to candidates for office (except for George Soros).

You believe that government should make a special effort to hire members of traditionally oppressed groups, such as African-Americans (except for Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice).

You feel a deep sense of common cause with oppressed groups, such as Hispanic immigrants (except for Cuban Americans fleeing Castro).

You believe that a mother’s wishes for her child, especially a mother’s last, dying wish for her child, should outweigh the wishes of a father who had long before deserted his family (unless the child is named Elian Gonzalez).

You have no problem with Hollywood movie stars flying around in private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs.

You think that raising taxes will reduce the budget deficit.

You are more concerned, more often, with the rights of convicted felons than you are with the rights of small business owners.

You uphold a woman’s right to choose, unless a woman chooses adoption, chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, chooses to homeschool, or chooses to start a business.

You are more concerned with Vice President Cheney’s links to Halliburton than with Saddam Hussein’s links to international terrorism.

You have used the phrase, “in Europe, the government pays for health care and vacation,” without irony.

You are worried about how the French view Americans.

You believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography “only has to look the other way.

And finally, you are almost certainly a liberal if you refuse to admit that you’re a liberal, and accuse anyone of calling you a liberal of McCarthyism.

Via Delftsman.

Better Late Than Never

Hey. I just saw the picture, ok? Anyway, it's from my local newspaper:

Everyone knew and enjoyed Johnny Carson.

Right-Click->View Image
to see a better quality version.

Oh Yeah. That's Purdy.

Announcement:

Please Be advised
"Plumber's Crack" is not sexy".
It doesn't matter whether you are male or female,
it just isn't sexy.

Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to have their head examined.

Gay? Straight? Trans?

I'm so confused.

Here's a scenario. You're gay, you want to get married. Forget gender. Evidently, gender is irrelevent.
Let's say you live in Taxecheussettes or Califucknia, where so far, they've been able to do it. So the preacher says:
I now pronounce you man and wife? Husband and wife? Wife and wife? Husband and husband? Dunno. Don't want to think about it.
Fine, that part is over. You now have to file your taxes. Who checks the 'Spouse' box?
Married filing jointly or Married filing separately. Someone has to be the spouse.
That probably has already been determined, but what does the law say?

Now you're getting divorced. Again - spouse. Who? Who gets the house? The alimony?

Now let's throw another handful of sand into the Vaseline. You're a transsexual.
You're a guy married to a girl who used to be a guy.
What if you're a divorcing a guy who used to be a girl, and you dress up as a guy but you're a girl who use to be a guy?
Who gets the house? The alimony? Would it depend on whether you had the operation before or after the wedding?
Or, you're a girl who use to be a guy, married to a guy who used to be a girl and you had kids before the operations. Since most states sway toward giving mommy posession of the kids, who gets the house, the alimony, the kids, the dog...

Uhnnn.... Is it Miller time yet?

Spam Subject of the Day

All you need:

"Rolex Pharmacy"

Now that's just amazing. Since when does it take a pharmacists to distribute Rolexes?
"Hey doc, think my health insurance will pay for this? Mental health drug you know."

The 'Click' Heard 'Round The World

IT'S A TEEVEE!!!.
From www.historychannel.com. (No permalink):

BAIRD DEMONSTRATES TV:
January 27, 1926

"On January 27, 1926, John Logie Baird, a Scottish inventor, gives the first public demonstration of a true television system in London, launching a revolution in communication and entertainment."

As couch potatoes around the world raise their remotes and cheer!

From The Land Of Fruits And Nuts

Once again, news from California:
San Francisco Bars Smoking in Its Parks:

"Legislators in San Francisco city voted to ban smoking in public parks on Tuesday, becoming the first major American city to embrace such an expansive ban on tobacco use."

First it was no smoking indoors. Fine. Non-smokers shouldn' have to breathe the smoke in a concentrated area, unless they're there of their own free will. Then it was no smoking outside near buildings. No smoking on beaches. Trying to get smoking banned in cars, and now no smoking in parks?
Now I don' advocate or condone smoking. If you want to smoke, fine. Do it. If you don't, then don't.
Just don't tell me whether I can or not, until tobacco becomes illegal, it's my decision.

Note: (They're there...their? I don't remember ever writing all three of those in one sentence before).

Update: Just as a reminder, smoking pole in the park is still legal.
Rather than chasing tabacco users with your nightstick though, why not consider tapping some vagrant on the noggin for pissing or shitting on the sidewalk? I personally would much rather smell cigarette smoke.

Spam Subject of the Day

Here's a new one:

"fat ass psychic guide"

I need a fat-assed psychic to guide me through life. Maybe I'll give them a chance to help me out.
Wonder what the rates are?

Oh Come On Now!

Another Homeland Security issue?
Violent Drawings Lead to Felony Charges:

"Two boys were arrested for making pencil-and-crayon stick figure drawings depicting a 10-year-old classmate being stabbed and hung, police said."

This nanny state is getting a little carried away here. These are insulent kids. They should be disciplined, but taken away in cuffs? Ridiculous.

Unbelievable

This really chaffes my ass:
Radio Station Apologizes Over Tsunami Slur:

"The hip-hop and R&B station, known for its 'shock jocks,' apologized on its Web site, saying it, 'regrets the airing of material that made light of a serious and tragic event. We apologize to our listeners and anyone who was offended.'"

What sort of moron would do something like that?

"Station-owner Emmis Communications Corp. issued an apology and said the seven-person staff of the show has agreed to contribute one-week's pay each to tsunami-relief efforts."

An apology just doesn't quite cut it. We had a weather man at one of our local teevee stations get fired for saying "Martin Luther Coo...King Day". That doesn't hold a candle to the mindless, senseless, insensitive assholes who did this shit on the air, all in the name of ratings and popularity.
Fined one week's pay? That's it? The radio station should be fined quite heavily with the total sum going to tsunami relief or a suitable substitute.
They should be fired, and sentenced to one week of tsunami cleanup. Let them drag a couple bloated, rotting corpses out of the mud. Let them nurse a few patients at one of the local hospitals. Let them rebuild a couple 'homes' for some of the displaced people living in tents or in the streets.
Those fucks.

Update: And I don't care if it is a sattire. There are just some things you don't need to make money from.

This Is Getting Old

Again from Yahoo!:Militants Show Video of U.S. Hostage; Judge Killed:

"BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Insurgents distributed a video Tuesday showing a U.S. hostage pleading for his life, and militants assassinated a senior judge in Baghdad, pressing their campaign of violence ahead of Sunday's watershed election."

The only thing I would like to add - sheet of glass.
This "war" has been PC long enough. It's time to actually have a war and determine a victor. Too many people on both sides - and on no 'side' at all - are getting hurt or killed.
The Geneva Convention is not even applicable here. This is not a civil conflict. These are psycho loonies taught since they were able to learn, that the "Infidels" are the devil and it is their responsibility to destroy these satans.
When is it going to be time to get serious?

Spam Subject Of The Day

I don't think there's really anything they could help me with:

"Not getting it up? Check out our solution"

I've never really had a problem getting it up. I mean you hold the kite by the string near the crossmembers under the tissue paper sheating, start sort of jogging into the wind and soon it will be airborne. Just let out the string a little at a time, not too fast, and it will remain aloft.
What's so tough about that?

Spam Subject of the Day

" on complain on vesper flummox"

Of course.

Jeebus

This blog host is increeeeeediiiiiiblyyyyyyy slow today.

Spam Subject of the Day

Starting to get a little redundant:

"use APPLE, C0REL, AD00BE, P1NNACLE SYSTEM, NER0, AL1AS FROM $20 EACH beauty hoping"

Good Gawd they want me to buy that shit real bad.

So Just Avoid The Joints Within The City

Nevada Judge Throws Out Lap-Dance Law

"Friday's ruling affects only dancers within city limits. The Clark County Commission in 2002 limited touching between strippers and patrons during private lap dances, specifically barring strippers from touching or sitting on the customer's genital area"

This is ironic anyway. There is a lot of area in the Las Vegas proper located outside city limits. Which means of course, the city ordinances don't apply.
But the double-standard sucks. A patron can't touch them at all, and now they're trying to make it so the stripper can't touch the patron. Where's the fun in that? I mean an eyeful is nice, but a little touchy squeezy would be better. There are bouncers all over the place. A patron goes stupid and gets out of control on a stripper, he'll have bouncers on him like flies on shit.
The city shouldn't be wasting their time 'protecting' everyone. Just more government we don't need.

Yup, I'm Back

The long weekend was great. A lot of good friends and family, and a lot of fish caught. (We were ice fishing).
I'll post the pictures on my web site one of these days when I get ambitious and download them from the camera.

Stay tuned....

Update: The pictures from the ice fishing trip have been posted on my web site. Position the mouse cursor anywhere on this underlined text and press the left button, most likely the one under your index finger, down.

Personal Responsibility Takes The Day Off

I could puke.
CNN.com - Jury: Beer vendor must pay $75M - Jan 19, 2005:

"NEWARK, New Jersey (AP) -- A jury awarded $75 million in punitive damages Wednesday to the family of a 7-year-old girl paralyzed in a car wreck caused by a drunken football fan. A day earlier, the family was awarded $60 million in compensatory damages."

Once again, I say "When are people going to take responsibility for their own actions?"

"A judge previously dismissed the Vernis' complaints against the National Football League, the Giants and the Sports and Exposition Authority, ruling they were not liable."

Now I feel for the family who's daughter got injured. I'm not that bad of a curmudgeon. But let's get a grip on reality here.
The vendor isn't responsible, neither is the National Football League, the Giants, nor the Sports and Exposition Authority. They didn't hold this idiot down and pour beer down his throat. Idiot driver did that himself. Then he stupidly got in his car and changed the lives of several people, and ruined his and the little girl's lives as well.
He'll never forget what he did to those people, and he'll never be able to pay the award. I think that when he gets out of jail, he should be placed in front of a test car full of crash-test dummies and get a good look from the passenger compartment of what he did from their side - but then that won't happen either.
In the mean time, he fucked things up for a lot of other people, including people who can control themselves at a ball game. There will be more restrictions at the stadium now, no doubt.

Update: Note to Blog This! - Splel chekcar?

Whiney-ass Sissy

Another good case for "The System":
Wis. Student Sues to End Summer Homework:

"Larson and his father sued in Milwaukee County Circuit Court seeking the end of summer homework across the state. They argue that homework shouldn't be required after the required 180-day school year is over."

Wait until the candy-ass gets into the real world. I don't think he'll be able to sue his company everytime he has an extra heavy work load. At least I've never been able to.

Life on Titan?

I think it's really cool to be able to send spacecraft to other planets and moons in our system. In this article there's a picture from the Cassini-Huygens spacecraft which recently alit on Saturn's moon Titan:
Science Photos - Reuters:

"Titan is covered by 'dirty' ice ridges and seas of liquid natural gas,"

But I'm puzzled. 'Natural gas' on Earth is made from decaying organic material like plants, trees, etc. LPG, as well as gasoline, kereosene and so on, are made by heating crude oil.
Unless this moon formed somehow from Earth, or unless natural gas can be created another way, this says to me there was once life on Titan. Or whatever bigger mass Titan came from.
I'll be interested to see where this leads.

Spam Subject of the Day

Gotta love it:

"above C0REL, NER0, AD00BE, P1NNACLE SYSTEM, AL1AS, APPLE FROM $20 EACH aboriginal fire instrument"

aboriginal fire instrument? WTF?

Michael Moore-on Is Still Stupid

Another One From The 'Duh' Files:
hyp·o·crite ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hp-krt)
n.

A person given to hypocrisy.

From FOXNews.com:

"NEW YORK — Filmmaker Michael Moore's (search) bodyguard was arrested for carrying an unlicensed weapon in New York's JFK airport Wednesday night."

Wait a minute here. I thought he was a flaming gun hater? How could he possibly hire anyone who owned one of those vile things.

hip·po·crite ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hp-krt)
n.

A fat fucking piece-of-shit two-faced liar given to hypocrisy.

Note: Pronunciation Key may or may not be accurate.

We'll Be There For Them, How About Y'all?

From Yahoo!: Families of Chinese Hostages in Iraq Issue Plea:

"Chinese President Hu Jintao has urged officials in Iraq to spare no effort to free the eight Chinese hostages and expressed deep concern over their fate."

It will be interesting to see if China has the stones to stick around for this.

Spam Subject of the Day

I guess I'm just a loser:

"Gillian Anderson already has a rolax! Need yours? acrobacy"

Yeah, but she's married now.

"Elizabeth Hurley already has a rolax! Acquire yours! compelling"

Gillian Anderson and Elizabeth Hurley both have a rolax? I just can't keep up.

Add Some Fuel to the Fire

ABC News: Singer Curses at Inaugural Youth Concert

Borrowing a word from Motley Crue's Neil, the lead singer of Fuel proclaimed, "Welcome to the greatest ——ing country in the world." Brett Scallions followed with a quick apology of "excuse my language."

After all the time and effort spent to keep Kid Rock out of there, I say " ——ing cool".

Heart And Sole

I just had to do it. I had to write something about this meal.

As we were returning from the ice fshing trip last weekend, the conversation ended up to where we decided to have some elk heart for dinner. Yes, heart. If you've never had it don't scoff. It beats the hell out of liver. Tender, tasty, easy to cook.

Well, having decided on heart, 'M' said "We need to pick up some sole fillets. Just so we can say we had 'Heart and Sole'." Which we did.

While preparing the dinner, the conversation bantered back and forth along the lines of 'You could have given me all of your heart...', 'Come on now, have a heart...', 'I never left my heart in San Francisco...'.

It was most yummy. One of the best surf and turf combos I have ever had.

As you were.

From The 'Duh' Files

Via The Volokh Conspiracy blog:

"Last month, the National Academy of Sciences issued a 328-page report on gun control laws. The big news that has been ignored on all the blog sites is that the academy's panel couldn't identify any benefits of the decades-long effort to reduce crime and injury by restricting gun ownership. "

Well, that much we had already guessed.

"The only conclusion it could draw was: Let's study the question some more."

Well of course. We wouldn't want to put anyone out of a job.

"Based on 253 journal articles, 99 books, 43 government publications, and some of its own empirical work, the panel couldn't identify a single gun control regulation that reduced violent crime, suicide or accidents."

Like I said, Duh.
As many have pointed out for years, take a look at Great Britain, Australia, Washington D.C., Chicago, Massacheusettes, ....

"Wilson said that that panel's conclusion raises concerns given that 'virtually every reanalysis done by the committee' confirmed right-to-carry laws reduced crime. He found the committee's only results that didn't confirm the drop in crime 'quite puzzling.' They accounted for 'no control variables' - nothing on any of the social, demographic, and public policies that might affect crime."

Goes to show you can interpret the statistics however you need to, when it suits your purpose.
Go ahead and read the whole thing.

Spam Subject of the Day

This one cracked me up:

"You need only 15 minutes to prepare for the night of love! dirty pardon"

That's all I ever need. I like dirty.
At least they said 'pardon'. Assholes.

Michael Moore-on vs Clint Eastwood

Via Tim Blair
Quote of the week comes from Clint Eastwood:

"Michael Moore and I actually have a lot in common - we both appreciate living in a country where there's free expression," Eastwood told the star-dotted crowd attending the National Board of Review awards dinner at Tavern on the Green.

Then, the Republican-leaning actor/director advised the lefty filmmaker: "But, Michael, if you ever show up at my front door with a camera - I'll kill you." The audience erupted in laughter, and Eastwood grinned dangerously.

"I mean it," he added, provoking more guffaws.

Clint - you old fart - you're still one of my heros.

I Guess I'm A Redneck

I just had to post this I received in an email:

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Y'all know who ya are...

You might be a redneck if. . .

• It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God. . "
• You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
• You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
• You bow your head when someone prays.
• You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
• You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
• You've never burned an American flag.
• You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
• You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
• You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
• If you got this email from me it is because I believe that you, like me have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

God Bless the USA

Spam Subject of the Day

Software. $20. Hmm.:

"cerebral APPLE, C0REL, AD00BE, P1NNACLE SYSTEM, NER0, AL1AS FROM $20 EACH acceptor deductible persuasion"

cerebral is deductible? Now that's persuasion. ID10T.

She-males

No, not that kind. I mean metrosexuals, wimps, sissies, .... the sort of idiot dads, inadequate and stupid husbands or boyfriends which are being portrayed on teevee shows and commercials nowadays. What the hell is going on here? BULLSHIT!
Well for starters, marketers. The idea, as far as I can see, is to portray men as some sort of pussy-whipped, helpless little kitten who is incapable of the day-to-day operations of child rearing, getting to work on time, and even driving the car, not to mention survival without the assistance of a stronger, healthier, wealthier, wiser woman around to help him, while struggling through life. "Hey ladies - Buy our SUV and you can be the HE-MAN of the family." BULLSHIT!
Now if you're one to watch and believe that sort of shit, then good for you. Pussy. You probably watch and believe most of the other shit spewing from the anus of Hollywood too. It's teevee people. It's a movie people. It's not reality. No matter how much a "reality Show" is marketed as reality, it ain't. It's BULLSHIT!
Now don't get me wrong. I like women - I like them a lot. I've been with the same one for 20 GD years. But she would never have the gall to claim I couldn't get through life without her. BULLSHIT! She knows it, I know it, and most men know it.
I still open the door for ladies. I do most of the cooking. I occasionally help with laundry. Yes, I do some of the "women's work". I also do the yard work, the house maintenance, the wood working, welding, beer brewing, BBQing and other assorted "man" stuff. My wife wouldn't have it any other way. She is a real, authentic, modern day woman. She's glad to have a manly man around to do the man things around the house. She's glad to have a 'Knight in Shining Armor' come rescue her when she has a flat tire, needs a jar opened, or something heavy carried. She could surely survive without a man around, but she would rather not.
Naw, Hollywood can keep their big bellied, helpless, simpering wussies. I'll take my arrangement anytime.

More about The Pussification Of The Western Male and Daddy Just HAAAAAD to Marry a Feminist.

Cool Picture

No pun intended. Well maybe there was.

Now the thing that really fascinated me about this ice sculpture is the fact that it was carved in Red Square, Moscow.

Spam Subject of the Day

Another funny 'From':

From: "Irritant E. Doe"

Good gawd. Ain't it the truth.

BE FOREWARNED

I'll be out of town starting tomorrow morning, and won't be back again until either sunday or monday. So to my massive readership I apologize in advance. Starting tomorrow there will be no posting until at least monday or tuesday.
So very sorry.

Beef. It's What's Rotting In Your Colon

High Red Meat Consumption Linked to Colon Cancer

"Long-term high consumption of red and processed meat may increase the risk of cancer in the colon and rectum, a new study shows."

Duh.
We've known this for what, 20 years now? But somehow these studies keep getting funded.
I'll have mine cooked medium, seared, please.

Update: I have a suggestion, albeit rather a disgusting one. Do a study on Michael Moore-on's colon. You will first have to remove his head, but you could then take a culture. There will be a virtual ecosystem growing in there. The Andromeda Strain would pale by comparison.
"I'll have a rib-eye, two New Yorks, a T-bone, all medium rare. Add 3 baked potatoes, all-you-can-eat salad bar, 4 bowls of soup, and 3 - no make that 2 slices of chocolate cake. I'm trying to watch my waistline. Well, it is out where I can see it pretty good right now."

Unlikely Scenario

File this under 'Cold Day In Hell', but I got a good chuckle out of it:

Michael Moore-on and Ann Coulter?
All credit goes to stanyanstreet from a Fark.com photoshop contest. I had to steal it.

Get Over It - Revisited

Another one from the 'Get Over It' department
Writer Urging Inauguration Day Boycott

"I view the inauguration of Bush as a black Thursday for this country," Livingstone says.

There you go. You've got your name in the headlines. I hope you feel better, you whiney-assed, leftist, tree-hugging, simpering fuck.
The way I see it, you have three choices here.

• You can bitch, kicking and screaming and throwing back turning tantrums until the next election.
• You can buy a ticket and leave the country with the rest of your idiot cohorts. I'll chip in for the fare.
• You can stick around and support the man who was fairly elected by the majority of the population, and help him do the best job he can.

If you assholes would direct a little more of your whiney-ass energy toward helping our elected leaders rather than trying to shun them, they could all do a better job.

Spam Subject of the Day

Yeah, I'll definitely go here:

"Free Windows Downloads, When you make a purchase of $15 or more"

That's on the up-and-up. Yup. Amazing people fall for that.

Brew update

The wheat stout has had a little time to mellow, and is now quite yummy. Dark, slight smokey flavor, smooth and quite drinkable.
The Tap-A-Draft went a little psycho on me though. For some reason it decided to release too much pressure at once, and the valve wouldn't stay shut. It wasted some brew by spraying it on my bench, table saw, floor, shirt, pants,... while I held the valve with one finger trying to grab my glass to get it under control.
But after the 'Taming of the TAD', all was well and I settled in to sup a cool glass and watch the Packers get their sorry asses served to them cold on an snowy platter. But no matter. I don't like either team. I do wish someone would have broken the fucking ankle of that goddamn popous, arrogant, fuck Randy Moss. Sent him to the hospital too. There's still hope.

The Weekend

Just a quick post about the weekend. Maybe I'm a sentimental old curmudgeon sometimes, but a couple things crossed my mind and I figgered I would throw them out.
My wife and I went out of town for the weekend to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. (I can't believe it's been 20 years, but I guess like they say, time flies.)

Anyway, the reasoning behind this post is to throw a couple well-wishes out there.

• To my wife: Thank you for the nice weekend together and the last 20 years. May we continue to be as happy together for 20 more.
• To the couple a few tables away - she in her bridal gown and he in his tux: May you still be together, as we are, after 20 years. And may you still be as happy and content with each other as we are after all that time.
• To the couple at the table next to ours in the smoking section: May you continue to remain as polite as you were to us. Even though we were sitting in the smoking section, seated as 'first available', she had the courtesy to ask if we minded if she smoked.

Now I enjoy the occasional cigar. 'Big Mac' to me is a nice Macanudo, ring size about 5 or 6. But I have never liked someone smoking at the table while I'm eating. I think it's inconsiderate and selfish. And I won't impose my 'smelly' cigar on people around me without asking them first. So I really appreciated it when this lady asked if we minded.

Still A Moore-on

Gibson, Moore Win People's Choice Awards:

"Moore dedicated Sunday's win to the U.S. troops fighting overseas..."

What a hippo-crit.
That fat fuck can take his award and shove it up his ass. Of course it goes without saying he will need assistance. His arms could never reach far enough around his butt-cheek to get a lock on his asshole. Someone will have to perform the actual insertion.

Update: "Hey Mel. Can you come here a minute? I need a hand."

California

Blaming the gun manufacturer? Again?
Court Won't Hear Gun Industry's Appeal:

"The companies' weapons were used by Buford Furrow to kill Filipino-American Joseph Ileto and wound five people at a Jewish day care center in a Los Angeles-area rampage."

I don't know how many more times it needs to be pointed out but I'll do it once again:

IT'S NOT THE GUN, IT'S THE IDIOT HOLDING IT!

Guns don't just randomly fire and kill and innocent bystander. Some moron loads it and pulls the trigger. If the fucking idiots we have making laws would worry more about enforcing the ones we have rather than trying to make more of them, psycho asshole murderers would be brought to justice and executed instead of someone sueing the manufacturer, the gun store, the UPS man, the neighbor's dog and the paper boy whenever a crime like this takes place.
You land on death row in California, you will stay there. You will never have your sentence carried out, unless you're the one unlucky individual they choose to put to death every 10 years or so.

Spam Subject of the Day

Huh?

"filet NER0, AD00BE, AL1AS, APPLE, C0REL, P1NNACLE SYSTEM FROM $20 EACH donna batik abernathy"

donna batik abernathy? Sorry, don't know this person.
I'll take the filet though. Medium, not butterflied, baked potato with butter, sour cream and chives, a salad with ranch and a Chevis on the rocks.

Thanx!

A quick 'Hey!' to Lady Mac. and Emigre.
I just realized they had added me to their blogrolls.

I'll attempt to make it worth your trouble to return here.

Three Cheers For Unprofessionalism

Go read this: Varifrank: Today, I was "Unprofessional"...:

It all starts with:

"...one of my Euro collegues tossed this little turd out to no one in particular:

' See, this is why George Bush is so dumb, theres a disaster in the world and he sends an Aircraft Carrier...' "

After setting the idiot straight, another part of his unprofessional response was:

"The day an American has to move a European out of the way to help in some part of the world it will be a great day in the world, you sniggering little fucknob..."

Here's a virtual handshake and a pat on the back from me - x!

Someone has to acept the blame

Well I've been looking, but I still haven't seen the article. I'm sure it will turn up. You know, the one where American overindulgence caused the tsunami?

I'm sure it will read something like:
"Scientists have recently learned from extremely detailed close-up satellite photographs that the recent tsunami disaster caused by the earthquake near Indonesia was the result of greedy Americans driving their SUV's.
As we are all aware, SUV's consume massive amounts of fossil fuels. This leaves enormous caverns beneath the earth's crust which are very prone to collapse, which could cause shifting of the earth's crust, creating an earthquake region.
The greenhouse gasses created from burning these fossil fuels are then dispersed into the atmosphere allowing a higher level of sunlight to pass through the atmosphere, causing the earth to warm excessively on the sunlit side.
The glacier caps of the northern and southern poles have been decreased substantially due to the excessive warming as a result of the enlarged hole in the ozone layer, again caused from the greenhouse gases emitted from the gas guzzling, consumerist driven, capitalistic Americans. The resulting shift of weight from the poles the oceans creates a less stable section of bedrock on the earth's crust.
We are all aware of the expansion of solids caused by heat, and since there is more expansion on the sunlit side of the planet due to an expanded hole in the ozone layer, caused by the greenhouse gases, emitted by capitalist SUV's, the sunlit portion of the earth has now become less stable than the 'dark' side of the planet. This could also cause shifting of the earth's crust, again creating an earthquake region.
Now with all of these combined conditions existing, we have secret underwater nuclear testing which took place just off the shores of Indonesia. The massive explosion of which rattled the unstable crust. This caused the bedrock to slip causing an earthquake with a magnitude of 9+."

Osama Bin Hiding

I'm guessing that if we unroll the asshole Bin Laden's turban, there would be plenty of cloth there to hang him from the torch on the Statue of Liberty.

Ain't it the truth

Stolen from here:
Emigre with a Digital Cluebat:

A short history of medicine:

I have an earache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen; say this chant.

1850 A.D. - That chant is superstition; drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil; swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective; take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - That antibiotic has dangerous side effects. Here, eat this
root.

Spam Subject of the Day

This one is funny more for the 'From' than the subject.

Subject: From:
creepers Beetled U. Decimal

Sorry, never heard of the guy.

All men are created equal

India's untouchables forced out of relief camps:

"The higher caste fishing community did not allow us to sleep in a marriage hall where they are put up because we belong to the lowest caste,"

I guess peons aren't allowed to shit indoors.
You would think that when a major catastrophe like this hits, people would care a little more about their fellow human beings.

Idiot

What a maroon:
"NBC's 'Fear Factor' Sued for Rat-Eating Episode"

"Watching contestants eat dead rats on NBC's gross-out stunt show 'Fear Factor' so disgusted a Cleveland man that he has sued NBC for $2.5 million, saying he could not stomach what he saw."

So uhh, change the channel?

Ashlee Simpson

Oh Ashlee, Ashlee, Ashlee.
Just give up.

Spam Subject of the Day

B'yuk:

"cRepllicas is here now! Dont waise your time plunk"

"You feelin' lucky plunk?"

Moor spllelnig leisions come soonly.

MSAV?

Microsoft Offers Virus-Removal Programs:

"Microsoft Corp., whose popular Windows software is a frequent target for Internet viruses, is offering a free security program to remove the most dangerous infections from computers."

Nothing like closing the barn door after the horses have run away.

"But a senior Microsoft executive confirmed the company's plans to sell its own antivirus software, which would compete against programs from McAfee, Symantec and others."

Here's a thought: Why not concentrate on fixing the shit you already sell?

Brew update

Well not really a brew update, more of an indirect reference:
Doctors astounded: drunken man survives astronomical blood-alcohol level:

"Incredulous doctors made five blood tests on a drunken man to confirm he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.914, far above the usual life-threatening range, police and doctors said Tuesday."

Good Gawd. His blood was stronger than the beer I brew.

What's this?

So I goes to make my lunch:

Roasted chicken placed on a torilla with cheese, etc.,

when I realize I had purchased 'Herb and Garlic' flavored tortillas. Why didn't they warn me when I was in the checkout stand? Why would they stock such a thing? I'm afraid.

I hope they're good.

Update:
Don't buy them. Not worth it.
I sure could have used some of that salsa I forgot.

Spam Subject of the Day

Wow! But wait! There's more!

"Only 15 minutes is all you need before hot night of love! competitive famine"

My hot nights of love usually only last 15 minutes anyway. What gives?
But "competitive famine"? There are actually countries competing for the worst famine. I'll bet you didn't know that.

Tsunami Disaster revisited

I think I'll bring this post back to the top of the list for a while. Most people have "Where to donate for tsunami relief" links and so on at the top of their pages, but I think there are other facets that need to be thought out a little. On that note, I have a few random thoughts I am going to try and express.

From Roto-REUTERS: "Aerial view of people sunbathing next to Patong beach, Thailand, four days after a tsunami hit the area, on December 30, 2004":

I guess everyone helps any way they can.

Japan is the biggest donor among 44 countries that have promised aid, pledging $500 million. The U.S. has promised $350 million, the U.K. $96 million and Sweden $75 million. Canada doubled its aid promise to $80 million yesterday. China increased its contribution to $60 million, and Taiwan upped its pledge 10- fold to $50 million.

Not on this list is Saudi Arabia. They contributed $30 million.
Now I say, good for Japan. They're the biggest donor. How much did France donate? Hmmm. Don't see them up there at all. They're probably just coming out of hiding from the fear of a second wave hitting them. But Saudi contributed $30 million. Make that only $30 million. Surely, a nation as wealthy as Saudi could cough up more.

$500
$350
$96
$75
$80
$60
$50
$30
====
$1,241,000,000,000
Lotsa bucks. And that's just the major contributors as of now. There are still a lot of individuals contributing which may never be completely tallied.

Now we have Islamic websites saying this sort of drivel:

"However, your beloved Muslim brothers and sisters deserve more and more of prayers and du’aa’. They deserve your moral and financial assistances. You should share their sorrow and difficult time and do invoke Allah to accept them among the Shuhada’ or martyrs on the day of Judgment.'"

Wait a minute. Is this the same Allah a whole bunch of murdering, beheading, homocide bombing, camel fucking towel-heads in Iraq who, by the way are trying to kill us infidels, are worshipping? You mean us heathens are going to use our capitalist, godless trucks and aircraft (which were bought using infidel taxes, garnered from christians, jews, atheists etc.) to transport capitalist, godless supplies (which were bought using infidel taxes, garnered from christians, jews, atheists etc.) driven and flown by christians, jews, atheists etc., to help out people who would rather see us all dead? Don't forget the image of the fella wearing the Osama t-shirt while looking over dead countrymen. That gives us an idea of whom we're helping out over there.
I have to take issue with reaching out a hand to pick someone up from the ground when they've fallen, if I know that when the stand, they would just as soon kill me as say thanks.
But we don't stop and ask them what their personal feelings or religions are now do we? We offer to help.

Now I also think of Oil-for-food. How many corrupt pockets are getting lined from this disaster? Not just corrupt individuals handling the money locally or even abroad. How much gouging is going on? How many local businesses are charging twice, triple, quadruple the price for their goods and services just because the demand is there and now and so is the money?

Some say this disaster was God's will. Mmm, if you're religious, I guess you could believe that. Some ask though, if this is the same god who allows innocent people to get beheaded. If this is the same god who allows a mother to drown or chop the arms off her child because she can no longer cope with reality. If this is the same god who allows millions of people to die at the hands of one psychotic individual.
If you're a scientist, you probably believe the layers of the earth are constantly advancing and shifting, and eventually, they're going to jiggle a little. There are some beautiful places to live on this planet and it also seems that living in these places comes with a little risk.
California is also on a big fault line. Florida has the occasional bout of inclement weather. (Of which there were four of this year. Gee. Do you think any of that $350 million could have been used locally?) And so on.
If you build a house or a business in a risky area like that, you just may have to deal with the odds when the dice are rolled that way. God's will or not.

Update: As I wrote previously:

"There are still a lot of individuals contributing which may never be completely tallied."

Looky here: Private U.S. Aid for Tsunami Tops $200M

"...more than $200 million raised as of Tuesday. One charity said online pledges were coming in at the rate of $100,000 an hour."

This is individuals. Not the government. I would be curious as to what other nations' individuals are donating. You know, the nations who think we're selfish capitalistic assholes.

What? It's the bad guys and not just the guns?

Times Online - World

"Police claimed credit for targeting the city’s street gangs. An extra 180 officers from the Targeted Response Unit were despatched every night to areas plagued by gang violence. As a result, killings fell most sharply in the most dangerous neighbourhoods, with murder down 55 per cent in one district and by 52 per cent in another."

Who'da thunk it?

"Chicago and other cities have learned from the “zero tolerance”

Gee. Ya think that maybe cracking down on the criminlas instead of trying to take away guns from respectable people makes a difference?

I wonder if the UK is reading these obvious results from one of their own newspapers...

Spam Subject of the Day

So there's two good ones today:

"Sell Rolex to your friends"

Now they want me to sell one.

Spam Subject of the Day

From the "Huh?" files once again.

"ran AL1AS, P1NNACLE SYSTEM, APPLE, C0REL, NER0, AD00BE FROM $20 EACH eat seven house"

Roll AD00BE
Eat an APPLE
eat seven house - Can someone esplain that one to me?

What A Maroon

Way too funny:

"HONG KONG: A five-year-old's innocent call to his mother landed his father in hot water. 'Mummy, daddy brought a woman home and they are on the bed,' the boy said and the mother rushed home to find her husband and his 20 year-old mistress canoodling and a vicious catfight broke out, which ended with the mother being arrested for possession of an offensive weapon, a kitchen knife she had allegedly tried to use and the mistress giving herself up to police shortly afterwards."

Little bastard. How dare he call mommy.

New Year II

Okay, so I've been slacking. I had a three day weekend for New Year's, and I didn't spend much of it in front of the computer.
Hope you all had a good weekend, a Happy New Year celebration of sorts, and heeded my advice to stay off the streets for amateur night.