Bling Bling

So what exactly the hell, is this fascination with spinning rims?
You know the ones I'm talking about - those silly-ass wheel rims that keep turning after the car has stopped. Good gawd they look stupid.

I figger they're similar to the streamers in the handlebars of the tricycle I once had, when I was about 5 years old. Maybe the poker cards I clothespinned to the spokes of the bicycle when I was around eight years old.

Teeny boppers have always 'pimped their rides', and I reckon that's just human nature. You can't buy a decent car when you're that age, so you waste a bunch of money on 'tight' shit for the ride. Remember the neon lights that were so popular there for a while? The ones that would go under the car and light up the road? Give the piece of shit a sort of aura or halo? Haven't seen them in a while.

At least the compressors/hydraulics aren't as popular as they used to be. Let's see now. I'm sitting here at this stop light, what can I do. I know, I'll make my car bounce. First the front - bouncebouncebounce. Wheeee!!!! That was fun. Now the back - bouncebouncebouncebounce. Yay!!! Ima do it again - bouncebouncebounce - front bouncebouncebounce - now frontbackfrontback - WHEEEEE!!!!! Ah, light changed. Mego now. How much did that cost me for that system? No matter. It was phat uh, cool uh, bad uh, tight. (What is the praise du jour?).

Now we must have little, teeny low profile tires on spinning rims, and the mufflers. We must have the mufflers. We must make our car look like a go-cart, and make it sound like a japanese motorcycle running in the swimming pool.

Now if we could only get goddamn subwoofers pumping out roughly 1.000E4+ watts off the streets, I could die a happy curmudgeon.