You're It

Sassy thinks I need to bare my soul a little. List the 5 things most people don't know about me.

Well, let's see. What don't people know about me that I care to expose?
Not a fucking thing.

That was easy. :)



No? Not good enough?

Okay, fine then. I'll come up with some shit here.

1. I'm really a softy at heart. No, really! I'm not a curmudgeon.
   
   BWAH! I can't even think it with a straight face!
   
   Generally speaking, I don't like people. I would never make it as a sales puke or a Wally-mart greeter. I do fine as a boss, but I just don't kiss ass. NOW YOU DAMN KIDS GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!!!
   
   
2. My favorite musicians are Michael Jackson, Barry Manilow and Barbara Streisand.
   
   As if. Moving targets as far as I'm concerned. All of them.
   
   Michael Jackson needs to hook up with Bubba in the joint a few years. Get his asshole good and stretched.
   
   Barely Man-enough needs go crawl off in a corner somewhere so he can twiddle his thumbs, rock back and forth and drool while watching Judge Joe Brown.
   
   Babs just needs to put a gun to her own head. Or have someone do it for her.
   
   Fuck that! I like blues (Buddy Guy, Albert King, Stevie Ray Vaughn...), Rock and Roll (Nickelback, Disturbed, Metallica, Megadeth, Tony MacAlpine, Joe Satriani as well as all the classic rock artists), Classical (Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky...), swing (Glen Miller, the Dorsey brothers, Benny Goodman...). I like a bunch of different music unless it's rap, country or opera. Them there suck big time.
   
   
3. I'm a vegetarian. Or is it vegan. Ted Nugent and all his hunter buddies should be shot, then disemboweled, then shot. How could anyone eat those cute little creatures....
   
   Just kidding. No, I am really a Vegan. A Las Vegan. Well, I have lived here longer than a good chunk of the current population has. And there are some damn fine steak and lobster meals to be had here. And - I still make my own beef, elk and deer jerky in my own back yard!
   
   
4. What else. Hmm. I have no accent. I guess that's something y'all cain't know 'bout me seein's I don't verbalize on these here internets. But I was born and raised in little hick towns out west in Wyoming and Utah. By little hick towns I mean towns of roughly 5000 people. They all had hillbilly accents, but I hated hearing them talk an was determined to pronounce and spell words correctly in school. I usaulyl do spllel the werds rite to.
   
   
5. Okay, last but not least. Even though people think I'm a grumpy old bastard, I go to church religiously. HAH! Pun! Religiously!
   
   Woops, once again I lie. I like beer, scotch, a fine cigar, nekkid wimmen, and NOT giving money to someone just so they can buy a Cadillac to drive to the church and tell me how bad of a person I am.

Well, I guess that's all you need to know about me. Not that there's anything else noteworty, but that's enough to get you through the quiz.

Now here's my deal: I won't tag anyone. But if you read this and feel compelled to put up your on damnable list, do it! I like to read them but I don't like to tag.
YOU'RE IT!!!