"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Sofa King Cool

This cave would be a trip to go into, no? :



Yes, those are real people. Click the picture to embiggenate.
Here's the scoop:


Pictured: The Cave of Crystals discovered 1,000ft below a Mexican desert

By Victoria Moore

Created 10:15 PM on 27th October 2008

Until you notice the orange-suited men clambering around, it's hard to grasp the extraordinary scale of this underground crystal forest.

Nearly 1,000ft below the Chihuahua Desert in Mexico, this cave was discovered by two brothers drilling in the Naica lead and silver mine. It is an eerie sight.

Up to 170 giant, luminous obelisks - the biggest is 37.4ft long and the equivalent height of six men - jut across the grotto like tangled pillars of light; and the damp rock of their walls is covered with yet more flawless clusters of blade-sharp crystal.
[...]
Go read the rest. It's neat-o.



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Your Horoscope

These are a hoot. From The Onion:

Your Birthday Today

They say you have the kind of face only a mother could love, but that's mainly because she feels guilty about all the birth defects.

Aries March 21 - April 19

Like all Aries, you are extremely patient with others. However, if they can't come up with the money soon, kill the twins.

Taurus April 20 - May 20

Strange impulses you can neither describe nor explain impel you to take your life savings, drive to Vegas, and put it all on red.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Your stress-management technique of taking long, deep breaths will prove disastrous this week when a riptide drags you underwater.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Fears of being exposed as a fraud will be realized this week when you're revealed to lack the fluid color, strong lines, and playful style of Matisse's trademark works.

Leo July 23 - August 22

God will appear to you in a dream and tell you that loving you is the part of His job He hates the most.

Virgo August 23 - September 22

Years of enduring the constant, numbing pain of existence will end this week when you discover "whiskey," a magical drink that makes your problems disappear.

Libra September 23 - October 23

Sometimes in life, you have to put your fear aside and stand up for what you believe in. Thankfully for you, this isn't one of those times.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

Light from the constellation Scorpio has traveled for millions of years through the interstellar void to tell you to begin a new diet this week.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

You've never much cared for appearances. Still, you're beginning to wonder why everyone else is wearing a HAZMAT suit.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

The little voice inside your head will be powerless to stop the barrage of Q-tips this week.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

You will be plunged into despair following your realization that being an Aquarius is the most noteworthy thing about you.

Pisces February 19 - March 20

You will experience little this week, except for a mild feeling of paranoia and a niggling awareness of your own insignificance. Expect the next 2,115 weeks to be the same.


How have I missed these all this time?


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Tricky Treat!

So as I was leaving the dentist's office Wednesday after getting my head drilled, his parting words were "Be sure and buy lots of candy for the trick or treaters, keep me in business."
Gave me a chuckle it did.

So with that, I went to get the goodies for the little bastards last night, and after the cashier scanned the sixth 3 pound bag of goodies, she pointed to the 'Oh wait, I need one of those' piles they have at the register - you know, the little things they try to upsell and add to your purchase when they're all done scanning your cart full. She points and says "Are you sure you don't need one more?"
Hah friggin' hah. The bitch doesn't know it, but I get so many of the little shits coming by that I may still run out.

See, I don't want to be out scrubbing eggs off the house and cars, nor do I want to remove toilet paper from the trees or shrubs. So I do like every other homeowner in a decent yet ungated neighborhood and stock up on the cavity inducing insurance policy for the neighborhood kids, as well as the carloads of mexican kids who come from neighborhoods where parents don't dare walk at night, let alone allow their kids to walk. This way, I don't have to do anything the next day but gather up the decorations I myself have put out without worrying about getting 'tricked'.

So there you have it. I have the treats bought, I will pick up my adult 'treats' on the way home, and Mrs Curmudgeon and I will park our asses on the lawn chairs in the driveway and give away 'free' shit to all the little kiddies (many of which are teenagers) who grace us with their presence.





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Spam Subject of the Day

"How to solve your everyday male problems"
Naw, I don't think I'll get a divorce. We've been together this long, I think we'll do alright.



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Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Funny

Yeah, I know. This one's made the rounds before, but it's still funny.

Via email:
A major network is planning the show "Survivor" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Obama, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.






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Spam Subject of the Day

"Which Presidential Candidate is Stronger?"
Now there's an idea. Arm wrestle for the presidency.




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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Brokeback Whitehouse

I about pissed my pants when I saw this:





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Stupendous Stupidity

DA: Criminal charges possible in boy's Uzi death

BOSTON – A prosecutor said Tuesday he is investigating whether criminal charges should be filed after an 8-year-old boy accidentally killed himself while firing an Uzi submachine gun at a gun fair in western Massachusetts.
[...]
I agree. There should be criminal charges filed.
Not against the expo, not against the sportsman's club, not against the gun owner, but against the father. He should have had better judgment than to let his inexperienced kid shoot a gun when he wasn't big enough to handle it. If nothing else, he should have helped the kid hold it. It's his own stupid fucking fault.

Helluva firearms safety lesson there, pops.




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Yup. It's A Done Deal Here In Hooterville



I won't tell you who I voted for, but I will tell you I voted against closet muslims, socialism, higher taxes and ... and ... I believe that now I'll be considered a RELIGION CLINGING, GUN TOTIN' RACIST!!!

I also studied up on the ballot questions and voted against: "Eliminate the requirement that a person must reside in Nevada for 6 months prior to an election in order to be eligible to vote in that election." People should live here and know what the hell is going on before they are allowed to vote for something. Six months may still not be long enough.

I voted for making it harder for local government to take people's homes or property using eminent domain.
I voted against anything that had to do with raising taxes, or making it easier for our so-called 'leaders' to reallocate money without public opinion first.
See, I think they should use the money they already get for taxes more wisely rather than try and get more for their dumb-ass special projects.

Anyway, the rest of you get to the polls. Early voting is way cool. No long lines, in and out in minutes.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Additional info required"
What the fuck?
I gave you my full name, address, date of birth, SSN, mother's maiden name, bank account, PIN, and phone number. What else could you possibly need?



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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

About Fucking Time

I got tired of waiting for blogrolling to get their shit together so I could update some of my 'rolls on the sidebar there. So I went ahead and made the conversion to the 'new' blogger format. Let me know if you see anything that don't work. Like YOUR link for instance.

That is all.




Have a nice day.




I'm going to go vote now.





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Speaking Of Food

How about some pizza?:





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Roadkill Grill

Restaurant closed after dead deer found in kitchen

Mon Oct 27, 9:04 pm ET

HAMBURG, N.Y. – Health officials shut down a suburban Buffalo restaurant after an inspector found employees butchering a dead deer inside the business. Erie County Health Department officials said they got a tip Friday about a dead deer in the China King restaurant in the town of Hamburg, just south of Buffalo.

An inspector soon arrived and saw the deer being butchered in the kitchen.

State health laws prohibit butchering an animal inside a restaurant.

Officials don't know whether the deer had been killed by a hunter or a vehicle. They said there was no indication the deer meat was served to any customers.

The message on the restaurant's answering machine Monday says it was closed because of "family emergencies."
Big deal. A little deer meat in some chinese food? Sounds good to me.
Bambi Bok Choy? Sweet and sour Stag? Egg fu fawn?
Mmmmmm. My mouth waters.

I'm guessing that if you eat chinese on a regular basis, you have probably had a taste of practically every living creature on this planet at some time anyway. What's one more critter added to the mix?




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Enlarge, Widen and Strengthen"
A spam mail about the economy?
Who'da thunk it.



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Monday, October 27, 2008

The Big Rescue Plan




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Larger bone today"
The dogs would love one.



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Friday, October 24, 2008

Some Chuckles

Stolen from here. Yes, some are old, but they're still funny:
One Liners

1) I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! >From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

9) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?'
I said 'No, six should be enough.'

11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

13) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No, me neither

14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before







Hat tip to GUY.

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BWAH!!!



That's all I got to say about that.



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Yet Another Study

And here you have it. The answer to what I'm sure is one of the most important dilemmas facing mankind in this day and age:
The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure
BWAH! Sorry, I never got past the headline, so I have no idea if the article has any real merit. But I always knew it controlled my blood pressure.
So Mrs Curmudgeon, take note. Whenever you hear me blow a gasket or fill the room with a "silent but deadly", you'll now realize I'm just trying to control my blood pressure.





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Spam Subject of the Day

"Hear her moan"
Well, it is getting close to Halloween...




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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sad But True

Damn! There are so many cartoons out there that are just doing it for me! I don't have to stew, bitch, nothing!



Okay. That's enough for today.


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I Can't Help It











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Isn't That Special

Faggotry In School
[...]
"I learned how a prince married a prince, and I can marry a princess," she exclaims to her mortified mom.
[...]
Yes! Let's teach our kids readin', writin' and cocksuckin'

No wonder people are bitching about how more illiterate kids are graduating than ever before. What ever happened to teachers teaching kids about math, science, spelling, reading, history, geography and even civics? No wonder they're graduating codependent and stupid.
Quit wasting their time with how to be politically correct libtards and teach them the shit they need to learn. Leave the relationships, butt-fucking and clit licking lessons to the parents if they think their kids need to learn about it.






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Spam Subject of the Day

"Rock hard and huge
Super soft"
Well? Which is it?


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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Just Can't Help Myself

I'm not bitching, just ..., well sometimes I crack myself up:



I'll have to do more!

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Slightly Political Post,

... more economical:
Recession fears slam Wall Street
[...]
The Dow Jones industrial average fell 478.69 points, or 5.30 percent, to 8,554.97. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index lost 56.67 points, or 5.93 percent, to 898.38. The Nasdaq Composite Index slid 80.75 points, or 4.76 percent, at 1,615.93.
[...]
Is it just me or does the Dow continue to tank in direct proportion to the margin the pollsters say Yobama has over McCain?






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The Big Game

So do any of you watch baseball on a regular basis?

I sometimes get roped into watching a game, usually because there ain't nothing better on the teevee, which - believe it or not - is most of the time. But then, I think to myself "Is this the best you can do?".
Well, I just don't get all thrilled about baseball any more. I used to not mind it, but the more I actually analyze it, the stupider it gets.

First of all, you have a bunch of primadonna, money grubbing assholes out there basically playing catch. Unless of course, it starts to sprinkle. Oh no. Can't be getting wet now. Might muss up the dirt. Or my hair.

It's lopsided: There is no team vs team in baseball. You have one batter facing a pitcher, who if he happens to fuck up, has eight other teammates standing around just waiting to cover his ass. If he fucks up bad enough, the batter's team gets a point. If the batter fucks up, he gets to go sit down a rest until he has to bat again, or cover his pitchers' ass.

Errors: Who the hell came up with that shit? You're responsible for covering the pitcher's ass if he fucks up, and if YOU then fuck up, you get charged with - wait for it - an 'Error'. You get a boo-boo marked on your report card. "Number XX dropped the ball. He gets charged with the 'Error'".
It doesn't give his team any points, doesn't take away any points from the other team, it just ensures that the rest of the world knows that YOU really fucked up. It's all YOUR fault if your team don't win.

Designated hitter/runner: Biggest farce in the whole gawddamn game.
Look. If you can't play your position in it's entirety, then get someone on the team who can!
"Hey! You go hit the ball for me, and I'll do the running!"
"Okay! That sounds like a good idea!"

Now if a quarterback can make a hand-off but can't pass, are the coaches of the NFL going to put the 'passing' quarterback in on that play? I really don't think so.

Naw, I don't really give a shit who wins the world series. Wake me up when it's over.





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Spam Subject of the Day

"Screw her every hole."
No thanks. I hate playing golf with wimmen.




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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Singin' Cowboy

This asshole has been fucking with me in the comments. But he made a funny picture.
Go check it out.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Power up lovegun"
Gee, thanks for the KISS earworm now asshole.



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Monday, October 20, 2008

Fuck It

What to do, what to do...

I sorta somewhat decided that I was tired of bitching all the time about politics and politicians.

I mean, this isn't one of those blogs that is read by brazillions of people on a daily basis, so it's not like my opinion is going to reach the far corners of the earth. My loyal readers for the most part, already know my opinion, and many are along the same line of thinking.

On top of that, Mrs Curmudgeon tells me a few days ago, "Jeebus, Dave! You're like a reformed smoker when it comes to the politics any more!" And she's right I reckon. I read some idiots' editorial and there I am, yelling at the newspaper, the teevee, the computer, whatever the hell media I happen to be immersed in. Up goes the temper, the blood pressure, the dogs.

Yes, even the dogs take off into the kitchen and hide under the table thinking they must surely be in trouble for something. Maybe shit on the floor and don't remember? Maybe chewed up a shoe? Something is wrong, 'Master' is yelling!

I've already made up my mind who's getting my vote for prez, and I'm looking into the rest of the shit on the ballot for the local government and propositions. I figger I'll try and get down to the early polling place sometime this week, and if not, well I'll just go on the big day.

But whatever. The point of this post is that I'm just sick of politics. I've never liked it and all of a sudden, I got myself all worked up and wrapped around it this year, and fuck it. I fucking HATE politics. Always have. I'll leave politics to the people who like the shit.

Sure, I'll do my research when it comes time for voting in the future, but any political bullshit posts will be few and far between any more on this here blog. There are plenty of other sources out there, many of whom are far more eloquent that I at relaying information and opinion.

Besides. Ain't there enough other bullshit things happening in this world that I can bitch about with pointing out how big of a fucking idiot Obamm-bamm is? Ain't there enough blogs already beating this shit into the ground? Yes.

So from here on out, that's what you'll get. Less - if any - mention of Obambi, Hitlary, McLame-brain, Saracuda, ...
What will you get? More entertainment, more me, more stupid shit from around this great big ole' world of ours.







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Spam Subject of the Day

"Put on inches instantly"
No thanks. My gut is big enough already.



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Friday, October 17, 2008

Didn't See That One Coming, Didja?

Hawaii ending universal child health care

By MARK NIESSE – Fri Oct 17, 3:29 am ET

HONOLULU – Hawaii is dropping the only state universal child health care program in the country just seven months after it launched.

Gov. Linda Lingle's administration cited budget shortfalls and other available health care options for eliminating funding for the program. A state official said families were dropping private coverage so their children would be eligible for the subsidized plan.

"People who were already able to afford health care began to stop paying for it so they could get it for free," said Dr. Kenny Fink, the administrator for Med-QUEST at the Department of Human Services. "I don't believe that was the intent of the program."
[...]
Go figger. Socialism just doesn't fucking work. Slackers will always take advantage of people willing to work for a living. And the people who do work for a living find out they don't have to, so why bother?



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Spam Subject of the Day

"is it hard?"
Yes. It's hard being me.



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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Quote of the Day

From here:
"I’m sick of paying for health insurance at work and that’s why I’m supporting Barack.”"
You fucking idiot. You don't think you'll be paying for it?



"I'm 'Joe The Plumber' and I approve this message."



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Allah Be Praised

Suit against God thrown out over lack of address
Wed Oct 15, 8:42 PM ET Sent 475 times

LINCOLN, Neb. - A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served due to his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.
[...]
Good gawd. [pun?] Get a life.

Does this senator have nothing better to do? I'm sure the people of Nebraska think so.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"muckleshoot casino"
Huh?



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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Spam Subject of the Day

"Republicans: You Can Make a Difference!"
I sure fucking hope so.




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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Pegged

The following is a post I stole uh, cloned from Jim @ PRS:

Let’s sort some stuff out here.

We’ll begin by saying that if you are a person who would not vote for Senator Obama simply because he is black, please move along. There’s nothing for you here. Similarly, if you are voting for Senator Obama simply because he black, you can move along as well. I want to speak to normal people.

If you oppose Barack Obama, because his philosophy is that the government should provide everything for everyone from cradle to grave, go right ahead. You are not a racist.

If you oppose Barack Obama because, given his past associations, you don’t want to turn the American arsenal over to a person who wouldn’t be able to get a security clearance that would allow him to mop the floors at CIA headquarters, go right ahead. You are not a racist.

If you oppose Barack Obama’s plan to rescue the American economy by increasing taxes on “Big Corporations” and increasing capital gains taxes, go right ahead. You are not a racist.

If you oppose Barack Obama, because his only real accomplishments are the ability to run an effective campaign and to read well from a teleprompter, go right ahead. You are not a racist.

If you oppose Barack Obama, because his income redistribution plan is something that would make Karl Marx proud, go right ahead. You are not a racist.

If you oppose Barack Obama, because his plans for Iraq would have resulted in the surrender by American forces, go right ahead. You are not a racist.

That is all.

If I'm a religion clingin', gun totin', hillbilly racist because I abso-fucking-lutely DO NOT support Obamm-bamm, then so be it.




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Good News!

Sen. Clinton says 2nd White House run is unlikely

WASHINGTON - Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton puts the chances of her running for president again at near zero — slightly higher than the chances she gives for becoming Senate majority leader or a Supreme Court justice.
[...]
There is a god.

With any luck, she'll stick to her statement and we won't have to listen to her spew shit from her fucking piehole in four years.



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Fat Fucker Finale

Ohio executes inmate who argued was too fat to die

AP - 9 minutes ago

LUCASVILLE, Ohio - Ohio has executed a 5-foot-7, 267-pound double murderer who argued his obesity made death by lethal injection inhumane.
[...]
Well it's about time.

Inhumane indeed. Lard ass definitely deserved what he got after his treatment of these people:
Cooey and a co-defendant were convicted in the sexual assaults and slayings of University of Akron students Dawn McCreery, 20, and Wendy Offredo, 21, in September 1986. His co-defendant was 17 and was sentenced to life in prison because of his age.
Too bad it took 20 fucking years to kill the bastard.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Attract them with your large pole"
I wish it was that easy. Those damn fish are smarter than you think sometimes.



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Monday, October 13, 2008

Global Warming™

A week ago today, it was right around 90 degrees here in downtown Hooterville. Right now, it's pushing 50.

EVERYONE JUMP IN YOUR S.U.V.'s AND DRIVE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL!!! Fuck the school buses. We need to warm this planet up a bit!



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Goodiest medication"
Another rocket surgeon.



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Friday, October 10, 2008

No More Of The Same!!! We Need Change!!!

Why the bailout isn't working

[...]
Just a couple of weeks ago, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke asked Congress to approve a $700 billion rescue of the banking industry. Without this sudden, massive infusion of federal cash, we were told, economic disaster loomed. Prompt approval, on the other hand, would assure the solvency of the financial sector, thaw frozen credit flows, and give investors a badly needed dose of confidence.

In the end, Congress approved the package—seeing as how the alternative was rising unemployment, a plunging stock market, and corporations unable to borrow to cover their short-term obligations. Now, with the bailout proceeding according to plan, Americans are confronted with...rising unemployment, a plunging stock market, and corporations unable to borrow to cover their short-term obligations.
[...]
So then, other than getting some pork barrel items approved which were tacked onto it, tell me again what this bill accomplished?

The American Thinker has gone and detailed things here:
[...]
This emergency was brought about by government interference and influence and manipulated for political ends by the lawless opportunists that inhabit congress. It will accomplish four things:

(1) Distract the voter from the reality of a Democrat-controlled congress so bumbling and corrupt its approval ratings are in the single digits.

(2) Save failing Democrat-run mortgage companies Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and avert, for a time, their disastrous influence on the economy and Democrat party image.

(3) Confuse the electorate into blaming the Republicans, who have called for oversight for decades, only to have it blocked by Democrats.

(4) Set up Obama to play the reformer, which he is decidedly not, as he is neck-deep in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac money and complicit in moving federal money to leftist "philanthropic" front groups in Illinois such as the failed Annenberg Challenge.
[...]
What a fucking racket.

My asshole is like, ON FIRE, dude! Stretched, torn, blistered. I wish those fucking demo-socialists would at least show enough common courtesy to pick up a jar of Vaseline on the way to vote next time.




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BWAH!!!

Judge sentences rap music fan to Bach, Beethoven

Thu Oct 9, 3:34 PM ET

URBANA, Ohio - A defendant had a hard time facing the music. Andrew Vactor was facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo in July. But a judge offered to reduce that to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin.
[...]
Sounds like a good idea to me.

The stupid fuck listening to that shit should have been forced to listen to a bit of opera too.
Not that it will do any good, since the loser won't appreciate it anyway, but I'm sure he forced many people to listen to his obnoxious noise, it's only fair he is forced to listen to something else.



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Whew!

Crab leg update:

Oh yes. It was quite the ordeal.
When the battle was over, the bones strewn, the plates piled high, the warm butter spilled and the belly on the verge of - well, picture if you will, the scene from 'Alien'. You know which one I'm talking about. It was borderline.

But I must say. For her size, 'T' can put away the crab legs. Mrs. Curmudgeon deemed it a tie for the sake of us remaining amicable, but I must say, it was a close call. Of course, I'll always claim to have come out on top, but who knows?
No matter. Good company and of course, good food.

And I'm sure I ate more dessert than she did...


BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!!!!





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Spam Subject of the Day

"oxygen debt"
That too? Will this Global Warming™ shit never stop?



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Thursday, October 09, 2008

"You're On!"

The swords have been drawn, the gauntlet thrown, the weapons chosen, and tonight is the night it is going down.

Crab, that is. Lots and lots of delicious crab.

Mrs. Curmudgeon informed me last night that a co-worker and friend of ours stated that she could outdo anyone when it comes to scarfing down crab legs. Mrs. Curmudgeon - with that "My daddy can whoop your daddy" air about her, said "You don't know my husband when he's eating crab legs. He's a machine."

So with me none the wiser, the challenge was cast forth and accepted, and there I was, smack dab in the middle of the foray.

No prob. After being informed of the events which transpired, with me of course being the sport I am and not wanting to let the Mrs. down, I accepted the challenge.
And to "T" I say, "BAH! Bring it on!" Surely, I can eat more crab legs than a girl!

So I will report back tomorrow on which of us ends up the victor, and reigns atop the mountain of crab carcasses.




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Spam Subject of the Day

"The ultimate male package"
WOOHOO!!! Some power tools, a 12-pack, a thick and juicy rib eye seered to perfection, and a big ole' Macanudo.



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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Spam Subject of the Day

"Want to make love everywhere?"
Well, yes. But the law usually has an issue with that sort of behavior.




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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Spam Subject of the Day

"Make over $97 perhour garanteed"
Nice. What have I gotta do, join the mob? Become a dentist?



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Monday, October 06, 2008

Bailout?

Gawd-dammit! I just can't keep my mouth shut.

This bogus bailout bullshit is annoying as hell.
We've been hearing for weeks just how important this bailout is, how we need it to save our economy and how its passing will save us from a depression akin to the one back in '29. Yet the house and senate could not get together and vote for it - let alone approve of it - without adding a couple tons of pork to it.

So what this tells me is that no, the bailout wasn't as important as our 'leaders' have been trying to make us believe it is. Only that their special interests are.

Go figger.




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I'm In!

"Someone" was kind enough to add me to the presidential race.
Hell, I can spend money just as fast as anyone.




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Last Longer in Bed"
I wish I could. That alarm is a pain in the ass.



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Friday, October 03, 2008

Spam Subject of the Day

"Girls really like this enlarged"
What is it, a diamond?



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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Slob Doesn't Even Begin To Describe It

Uuuhhh, wha-? Uuuh, why? uuuummm, wher-?

For the love of all that's holy. How the hell could anyone live like this?
Hold your nose and go take a look.

Via Jim@P.R.S.



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A Funny

For you girls, via email:

When I was younger I hated going to weddings.
It seemed that all of my aunts and the grand-motherly types used to come up to me, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, 'YOU'RE NEXT'.
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.






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Spam Subject of the Day

"you have email from Olga"
jah, dat ischt nice jah.



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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Ride The Seesaw

If you've passed by this blog any time in the last couple years, you pretty much know by now who I like or dislike to be elected president.
Fine. Whatever. That's me.

But if you are still up in the air as to who you think should be the next president, or are unsure what they purport to stand for at the core, go take this little ABC News poll and see if your beliefs are similar to theirs:
Match-o-Matic II
I screwed up and reset the page before saving my final tally for y'all to see, but let's just say O'bamm-bamm took a flying leap at the end.

All I do ask is that you go and exercise your hard won right to choose. Get your ass out and vote!





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Spam Subject of the Day

"snotilim"
That just doesn't sound right.




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