If only it were true

Brought to you from the folks at Carnival Cruise Lines....

We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to be reelected President. With that in mind, we have a SPECIAL OFFER for those who still want to keep their promise!

ATTENTION: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all U.S. assets and
report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation"

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise. Please pack for an extended stay.... at least four more years.

NOTE: Since you advocate strict gun control, no guns will allowed on board.

Staffing for the cruise:
Captain - Bill Clinton
Cruise Director - Al Gore
Purser - Grey Davis
Cigar & Cigarette Girl - Monica "Lips" Lewinsky
Entertainment - The Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen
Life Guard - John Kerry
Media Director - Terry Heinz Kerry
Bartender - Ted Kennedy
Inspirational Services - Rev. Al Sharpton
Intern Coordinator - Ex-Congressman Gary Condit

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"