"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Public Service Announcement

Some helpfull emerency or first aid tips:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic
simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
And lastly, keep in mind you only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

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