Welcome to Hell

You know, I'm really, really glad Christmas only comes once a year.
I know, "How cliche!". But here's my deal.
I hate malls. I don't really enjoy any sort of department store, especially when I'm not buying something for myself.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm selfish. I love to buy something that brings a smile to someone's face. It's just the shopping part I hate. I would much rather have a list of things I need to get. Or even if I make a run for a single item, I want to go in, get what I need/want, and get the hell out.
Wandering aimlessly for hours just to buy something on impulse that I think maybe someone may like, just doesn't do it for me.
Now back to the mall. I do the dispicable mall crawl once a year to find the goodies for the loved ones. I consider it a necessary evil. Something that has to be done, sort of like tax time, only worse. At least with the taxes you get to go to an individual or sit at your computer for a few hours while preparing to throw your money away, but the mall, you battle for a distant parking space, plow your way through crowds gawking at a truckload or two of worthless shit all trying to grab your eye, then toss your money into some greedy bastard's pot so they can pay for their beemer.
When I die, I sure hope I end up in heaven. Otherwise, I'm guessing satan has a mall with no exits set aside just for me.
Oh well. Maybe I won't have to go back until next year.

Update: ...and they'll be playing Muzak versions of country songs.