Analogy Man

After poking around a few blogs, I have stumbled across some analogies which, every time I see them, for some reason makes me think what analogy I would substitute. Clear enough?
For instance, when someone writes "Not the brightest bulb on the tree", I think of say, "Not the quickest out of the gate" or "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer".

So, this compels me to make a list of the ID10T analogies I can think of off hand:

• Not the brightest bulb on the tree
• Not the quickest horse out of the gate
• Not the sharpest tool in the shed
• Not the brightest firefly in the swamp
• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
• Not the fastest dog on the track
• Not the brightest lightnin' bug in the bushes
• Not the brightest candle on the altar

That's enough for now. Got any to add to the list?

Updates:

• Not the fastest processer on the internet
• Two cans short of a six pack
• Slower than molasses in december
• One drumstick short of a picnic
• Knitting with only one needle
• One oar in the water
• A rip in the marble bag
• A few bricks short of a palette
• Dumber than a sleighload of shit
• Dumber than a box of rocks