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Thursday, July 28, 2005

Fart Science

Another one from the animal kingdom, via yahoo from the AP:

Researcher Measures the Gases Cows Emit:
[...]
The ladies,' as they're called by University of California researcher Frank Mitloehner, are doing their part to answer a question plaguing one of California's largest agricultural industries: How much gas does a cow emit?
A question which has kept me awake many a night.
[...]
The findings will be used to write the state's first air quality regulations for dairies and could affect regulations nationwide.

But before he explains how it works, Mitloehner wants one thing to be clear.

'We're not talking about flatulence,' he says.

He emphasizes the point because his research has been dismissed as 'fart science,' a label he says doesn't do justice to the seriousness of his work."
[...]
Not flatulence? What is it then?
Call it what you will, but it's still fart science.

Nevertheless, we better get busy on a catalytic converter which can be easily strapped to Bessie's ass. We'll then be moving on to a device for horses, pigs and sheep.

But beware - WE'RE NEXT!!! No pesticides, no smoking, and especially no farts!

We need to clean up the atmosphere. Global warming and all that.

Update: So I was on about my business when I started thinking: How does one go about performing these measurements?
I don't want to know.

1 comment:

Pammy said...

Ever watch South Park? According to Cartman, all cases of spontaneous human combustion are directly attributed to holding in farts.

The way I figure it, I've saved my own life COUNTLESS times. hehe