Longstanding Mystery Solved

HOLY BAT SHIT ROBIN, CALL THE COMMISSIONER! They've figured out why ice cubes melt!

How Ice Melts:

Until now, scientists could not explain why ice cubes in your drink melt. They've known the basics, but the details remained elusive.

A breakthrough new study, announced today, supports a leading theory that melting starts when the fundamental structure of matter begins to crack.

Melting is considered a basic phenomena in physics. An understanding of how it works is crucial to gaining a firm grasp on the physical world.

I'm glad someone has the time and money to look into this. It's worried me for years.