You Think You're Having A Bad Day

• Boy Scouts save toddler from river AP - 1 hour, 34 minutes ago

  OMAHA, Neb. - A troop of Boy Scouts on a camping trip saved an 18-month-old girl who had fallen in a river upstream from them and was floating face down, officials said.

"Where's yer mommy?"
"Oh, she must be drinkin' with daddy."

• Injured woman drowns during rescue AP - 42 minutes ago

  CHARLESTOWN, N.H. - A rescue boat taking an injured woman to an ambulance capsized in a river, trapping her beneath it and drowning her, authorities said.

That's gotta suck.

• 2 dead, 1 injured in charity ride AP - Wed Aug 23, 12:22 AM ET

  COVINGTON, Ind. - A van struck bicyclists riding to raise money for families of slain police officers, killing a state trooper and a retired police chief and injuring another cyclist, police said.

Where's a cop when you need one? Oh.

• Despondent man, 91, kills wife, self AP - Tue Aug 22, 10:43 PM ET

  PORTLAND, Ore. - A 91-year-old man despondent over his wife's need to move to a nursing facility shot her to death and then killed himself in Clackamas County.

Ah, the old $.38 bullet cure. Saved a bunch of money on that one.