Spam Subject of the Day

"Heat in your pants"

Like they say, 'There may be snow on the roof, but there's a fire in the furnace."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, And By The Way

This is a hoot:

Harvard Professor Gates Is Half-Irish, Related to Cop Who Arrested Him

Henry Louis Gates Jr., the black professor at the center of the racial story involving his arrest outside his Harvard University-owned house, has spoken proudly of his Irish roots.

Strangely enough, he and the Cambridge, Mass., police officer who arrested him, Sgt. James Crowley, both trace their ancestry back to the legendary Niall of the Nine Hostages.
[...]

Karma is a motherfucker, no?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Friggin' B'Day To Me!

Yup, another year older today. Thought I would let you know in case you happened to forget.

Be sure and raise a glass!

Anyone up for spankin's?

By the way, that's not me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Power up your meat cigar"

BWAH!!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LVMPD (PoPo)

If you're planning a trip to Las Vegas, whatever you do, don't piss off the cops. Or the TSA.

I just took a little ride to a remote site our company has an affiliation with. The thermometer on my truck registered roughly 105 degrees outside right now. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky, no breeze to speak of. It's fucking hot out. Again.
The drive took me past the area near the airport where if you're so inclined, you can park your car and watch the planes take off and land.

Well, when I drove by there, the cops had some poor schmuck standing in front of their car cuffed. He was wearing short and shoes, but no shirt. I went to my destination, did my work and was returning to my office, which took me past that parking lot roughly 45 minutes later. The cops still had the poor bastard standing in front of their car, cuffed. I suppose to prevent sunburn, they had thrown a jacket over his shoulders. A black jacket.

That dude must have really fucked up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nucking Futs

Love is a rollercoaster for woman marrying funfair ride

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Any love affair has its ups and downs, but Amy Wolfe's sex life is a rollercoaster.

She enjoys a 'satisfying' sexual relationship with a fairground ride - a 'magic carpet' themed ride named 1001 Nachts - and now plans to marry it.

The 33-year-old rides the machine 300 times a year and uses pictures of it to satisfy herself at home.

Ms Wolfe, from Pennsylvania, suffers from a condition where people develop sexual feelings towards objects.

It's a fairly long-distance relationship, as she lives 130km (80 miles) away from the Knoebels Amusement Park ride.

"...sexual feelings towards objects." ?

I can see where a woman would get some feelings for a dildo, but a rollercoaster? Yeah, she's crazy.

"♫♪ Rollercoaster, ♪♪ of Love. (say what)" ♫♪
"♫♪♫ Rollercoaster, yeah ♫♪ (oohh oohh oohh)..." ♫♫♪


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meh

You take two turds and add them together, all you have is a bigger pile of shit:

Microsoft, Yahoo in 10-year Web search partnership

Reuters – 31 mins ago

SAN FRANCISCO/SEATTLE (Reuters) - Microsoft Corp and Yahoo Inc inked a 10-year Web search deal to better compete against market leader Google Inc but stopped short of combining their display advertising businesses.
[...]

Neither of them hold a candle to Google for searches.

What do you think they'll call this new technology? MicroHoo? YaSoft? BingHoo? YaBing?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Be the mightiest driller!"

Maybe I should name my dick "Ryobi"?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uh, No

Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

Description:

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

Keywords:

• sauces
• Main Meals
• desserts
• Drinks
• gift
• cooking with cum
• cooking with semen
• adventurous
• eclectic
• semen
• exotic
• dish
• cookbook
• meals
• recipes
• cooking
• natural harvest

Listed in:

Cooking

I guess if my wife cooked, I could supply her with plenty of ingredients. But then, saliva may compromise the integrity.

Of course, she would have to eat everything she cooked. I wouldn't be touching that shit.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

National Felon League

Here's what the NFL commissioner said regarding:

Michael Vick reinstated by NFL
[...]
"I accept that you are sincere when you say that you want to, and will, turn your life around, and that you intend to be a positive role model for others," Goodell said in his letter to Vick. "I am prepared to offer you that opportunity. Whether you succeed is entirely in your hands."

"Needless to say, your margin for error is extremely limited," the letter said. "I urge you to take full advantage of the resources available to support you and to dedicate yourself to rebuilding your life and your career. If you do this, the NFL will support you."
[...]

Here's what he meant:
"Vick is a money maker. He can make us all rich as long as he doesn't fuck up. Hey Vick, I really hope you don't fuck up."




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Your excitement will break ceilings"

Then I would have to fix them. Thanks, but no thanks.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Almost A Darwin Award

BWAH!!!!!:

Driver lights cigarette near propane tank, torches car

A Coeur d’Alene man was hospitalized Friday after setting his car on fire in a motel parking lot.

Michael R. Brandt, 41, suffered burns and totaled his car after lighting a cigarette while inside the vehicle; a full propane tank sat in the passenger seat, police said.

Witnesses at the Cedar Motel, 316 Coeur d’Alene Lake Dr., pulled Brandt, 41, from his burning 1992 Lumina about 2:24 p.m.

Coeur d’Alene firefighters extinguished the blaze, and Brandt was transported to Kootenai Medical Center emergency room, where he was still being evaluated at 4:30 p.m.

It is absolutely impossible for me to find the slightest inkling of sympathy for someone so fucking stupid.

Sorry dude, you deserved a lot worse. I'm just glad you didn't have any passengers to take with you.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life In A Desert Town

This fucking "Global Warming™" is about ready to piss me off. Pushing 112* (That's ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING TWELVE to you non-desert folk) on the back patio yesterday, with rain clouds rolling around above, humid as hell.

You know, if AlGore hadn't invented the internet, there wouldn't be all this heat producing electrical equipment - servers, switches, routers, modems, batteries, computers, monitors - keeping everyone "on line". Any idea just how much all this shit - not to mention the A/C units required to cool them, heats up the planet?

AlGore caused his own problem now he wants us to quit driving SUV's to fix it.
What a dick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Do her back-and-forth for hours!"

And up and down and sideways? WOOHOO!!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Would I Go?

Space exploration volunteers wanted (The catch? It's a one-way ticket)

[...]
The next generation of astronauts may hurtle through the cosmos for years or decades on a mission to explore distant planets and stars – and never return.
[...]

Damn tootin' I would go. It would fucking cool to go somewhere off in space and do some exploring, see the shit first-hand and close up.

You wouldn't be coming back to tell stories in person, but big deal. What with chats, email, twitter, blogs, journals, blah blah blah - how many people do you 'talk' to each day without seeing them face to face?


Update w/pic:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's A Sad Day

John S. Barry, Main Force Behind WD-40, Dies at 84

John S. Barry, an executive who masterminded the spread of WD-40, the petroleum-based lubricant and protectant created for the space program, into millions of American households, died on July 3 in the La Jolla neighborhood of San Diego. He was 84.
[...]

There isn't a real man alive today who hasn't used this shit at one time or another. I use it on a regular basis.

Besides the normal uses of freeing rusted parts and lubricating various parts, is spray it on steel tools in lieu of 'Pledge' to keep the rust off.
It also works fairly good as an ant barrier or even as a flame-thrower for cicadas and cockroaches.
Some people even soak artificial fishing lures in it as an attractant.

There is just no end to the list of uses for this priceless liquid.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"It happened in Starbucks"

Damn. And I missed it.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why You Wanna Keep A Brotha Down

Obama 'stupidly' comment disappoints Mass. cop
[...]
Sgt. James Crowley responded to Gates' home near Harvard University last week to investigate a report of a burglary and demanded Gates show him identification. Police say Gates at first refused and accused the officer of racism.
[...]

"I think it's fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry," Obama said. "Number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home. And number three — what I think we know separate and apart from this incident — is that there is a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately, and that's just a fact." - Obamm-bamm.
[...]

This isn't a political post by any stretch. But the fucking president of the United States getting involved in a local police issue? Come the fuck on.
Evidently this asshole who got busted was all too ready to pull strings since he's supposedly a friend of the prez. What a prick.

But the prez being judgmental and playing a race card when he wasn't even there is just ignorance. His teleprompter must have been turned off at the time or he may have chosen more appropriate wording.

See, in the second paragraph, the prez said "...there was already proof that they were in their own home...". But the first paragraph said "Gates at first refused [to show identification] and accused the officer of racism."
The fucking idiot will never get his shit together.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"We will call you back."

I'd rather you didn't.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Refresh your manhood for yourself,for her and for your love."

Brings to mind a quote I heard once: "I got a problem with my woman. She's got a problem with my wife."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Goins"

Huh?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And That's The Way It Is"

Another Goner.

I saw on the news when I got back to town yesterday that Walter Cronkite had died.
The teevee guide thingy said there was some sort of Walter Cronkite special on so I though I would go ahead and watch it. What a crock of shit. There were a bunch of current news people on there talking about what a great reporter he was, how he always reported "the truth", the full story and that he told those stories such you believed that they were true. I'm not going to take that away from him. From what I remember of him, I thought he did. But then, I didn't watch the news that much when he was on.

But the hypocritical motherfuckers who report the news these days may do well to take some of him and use it. The news we get nowdays is so much slanted bullshit, half truths, unreported news, and news of the entertainment world that unless people go out of their way to look and do their own research, they have no fucking clue what's going on around them.

Yeah Walter, you must have been quite proud of your peers when you drew your last breath.

"And that's the way I was told to say it is, this _____th day of _____, 2009."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bumfuckistan - UPDATE

As previously mentioned in this post, I have a nephew in the service who was stationed in Afghanistan.
I got the word today that he is back in the states safe and sound.

Glad to hear it "J", and thanks.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Best Quote I Heard All Weekend

"Just because my mother's a lesbian don't mean she knows how to change a tire."

This was referring to parents teaching their kids how to put on the spare if they should have a flat while traveling.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Next?

Kids' lower IQ scores linked to prenatal pollution
58 minutes agoSent 574 times

CHICAGO - Researchers for the first time have linked air pollution exposure before birth with lower IQ scores in childhood, bolstering evidence that smog may harm the developing brain.
[...]

Drinking, smoking, pollution, ... I expect "Global Warming™" to be the next culprit.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Re: yo mate"

Yo.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Want To Believe

Of course!:

NASA lost moon footage, but Hollywood restores it
Thu Jul 16, 8:26 PM ETSent 1,613 times

WASHINGTON - NASA could put a man on the moon but didn't have the sense to keep the original video of the live TV transmission.
[...]

Well, no shit! Since it was originally filmed in Hollywood, I'm sure they kept a copy!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She Needs To Die Slowly And Painfully

This bitch needs to die:

3 states investigating hep C-infected scrub tech

Thu Jul 16, 10:07 pm ET

DENVER - Hundreds more patients have been advised to get tested for hepatitis C as health officials in two more states launched investigations into an infected Colorado surgery tech who allegedly swapped clean needles for dirty ones to feed her painkiller addiction.
[...]

She should be injected with some hep-c, some AIDS and and some swine flu viruses and left tied up in a basement to rot.

I know that addictions are powerful things. But if you sentence other people to death like this, you deserve to have at least the same punishment inflicted upon your damn self.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Happy"

Well good for you, dickhead.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Guess That's Settled

Take the quiz here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Head Asplode

Video of Jackson 1984 Pepsi burn accident surfaces

NEW YORK – Us Weekly magazine has obtained video it says shows never-before-seen footage of Michael Jackson's head catching on fire during filming of his 1984 Pepsi commercial.
[...]

That bastard danced like a mutherfucker in that video. BWAAAAHHH!!!

Good think he was wearing that glove. He woulda burnt his fingers too.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Is crysis real?"

Believe it. Even if you can't spell.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ginger Or Mary Ann?

Okay, let's settle this once and for all. The great debate for eons has been "Which would men prefer. Ginger or Mary Ann?".

You decide and give me your vote in the comments.

Do you prefer Ginger:



Or Mary Ann:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BAM!

Speaking of food preparation, have you ever heard of Molecular Gastronomy? That's a new one on me.
But I reckon if you're going to practice this sort of cooking, you need to be a bit careful:

German Heston Blumenthal blows off both hands in liquid nitrogen kitchen accident

The 24-year-old chef was experimenting with a recipe involving liquid nitrogen, which is used by chefs including Heston Blumenthal to freeze food, when there was suddenly an "enormous explosion", according to a report in the Berliner Morgenpost.

The young man, from Stahnsdorf, near Berlin, lost one hand in the explosion, which occurred at his girlfriend's mother's house.

He was rushed to hospital, where his other hand was amputated and his condition was described as life threatening and he remained on artificial respiration.

He reportedly told police that he had been trying to fill a gas lighter, but his girlfriend said the man, who was a follower of the "molecular gastronomy" culinary school, had been trying to empty a canister of liquid nitrogen.

Molecular gastronomy, a culinary and scientific discipline, examines the physical and chemical processes that occur in cooking.

Liquid nitrogen is pure nitrogen in a liquid state at a very low temperature. Liquid nitrogen boils at -196C, and can cause rapid freezing when it comes into contact with living tissue. It can cause frostbite in humans.

Whatta maroon.

You know, if there is a way to fuck something up big time, someone is going to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Revivify your desire"

Revivify? WTF?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Because You Need To Know

How to Devein Shrimp

When you think of deveining shrimp, your first thought may be that it isn't the most enticing task. Actually, deveining shrimp is very easy to do! While shrimp can be cooked and eaten with or without the vein, most people remove it. This is more for presentation rather than taste, but leaving the vein in can result in a gritty taste when it is bitten into. Just remember, the vein is the digestive tract of the shrimp, so more times than not, you will probably want to remove it.

Before you begin to devein your shrimp, start by keeping them in a bowl of ice water. This will keep the shrimp fresh while you are working on the others.

If you will be using shrimp that have already been shelled, the only thing you will need is a small, thin, sharp knife. A common paring knife will do. Start by holding the shrimp, backside up, and run your knife down the length of the shrimp. This will expose the vein.


To remove the vein you can use your finger, or the tip of your knife to pull it out of the shrimp.

You may also run the shrimp under a stream of cold water which, in some case, the vein will simply wash away. When finished, replace the shrimp into the ice water to keep it fresh until you are finished deveining and ready to cook.

If you plan on cooking your shrimp with the shell still on, you can still devein them. In this case you will need a shrimp deveiner, a knife-like kitchen tool made specifically for deveining shrimp with their shells on. This can be purchased at any kitchen supply store.

Start by holding the shrimp backside up, and place the deveiner under the tip of the shell. Gently slide the deveiner up the back of the shrimp, towards the tail. The deveiner has a serrated edge that the vein will adhere to, while cutting the shell with its sharp, upper edge.

A toothpick also works.


You're welcome.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nanny Military Too?

Health officials to military: Ban smoking

By Kelly Kennedy - Staff writer
Posted : Tuesday Jun 30, 2009 16:53:16 EDT

Medical experts say they have a solution for the military’s increasing smoking rates:

Ban it.

And not just in basic training — stop selling cigarettes and chewing tobacco on post, stop with the discounts at the PX, don’t allow it in hospitals, and come up with a deadline when everyone should be smoke-free.
[...]

I have nothing positive to say about smoking in the military, or smoking in general. However, it's a personal choice, and once again, assholes are making personal choice decisions for the general public instead of allowing people the freedom to make their own decisions.

Fucking nannies making decisions for everyone else, and now nannies are making decisions for the people who are willing to die so nannies can keep on making those decisions. Nice.





Well, maybe you people should follow your boss's example and ... uh, never mind:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Be her brave cowboy!"

Reminds me of a joke. You may have heard it, I've posted it here before, but anyway, here it is:

Q- What is "rodeo sex"?
A- While you're fucking her doggie style, yell out another woman's name. Then see if you can hang on for 8 seconds.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

U.F.C.

To most people, it means "Ultimate Fighting Championship". In my case, means Unwitting Fucking Chump.

There were some people coming in from out of town, and so we thought we would have a get-together. Some of the folks who were invited already had plans to watch the 'big' bout, so we graciously volunteered to order the thing at our house on Pay Per View Saturday evening.

I figgered that being the 100th show and all, it may be worth watching. After all, I was told it wasn't as phony as WWE/WWF/Whatever-the-fuck that bullshit 'wrestling' organization calls itself.

What a waste of money. I knew there was a reason I had no interest in it. It sucks. It's boring as hell. I thought maybe that if they were given some fighting leeway, they would maybe fight. There was more rolling around on the mat hugging than anything else. Sure, there were a few decent punches, but for the most part it was just dull.

I hope I'm never subjected to that sort of torture again.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another Useless Study

Swearing Makes Pain More Tolerable
LiveScience.com - Sun Jul 12, 10:10 AM ETSent 1,587 times

That muttered curse word that reflexively comes out when you stub your toe could actually make it easier to bear the throbbing pain, a new study suggests.
[...]

I could have told you that without a fucking study!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"I found your medicine bottle"

Cool. Take it and slowly insert it up your ass.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah. Sure.

Teen pregnant after ‘swimming in pool’

A WOMAN is suing an Egyptian hotel claiming her daughter got pregnant - from using the swimming pool.

Magdalena Kwiatkowska's 13-year-old returned to Poland from their holiday expecting a baby.

Magdalena believes the teenager conceived from stray sperm after taking a dip in the hotel's mixed pool. She is now seeking compensation from the hotel.

A travel industry source said: "The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there.

"She is determined to go ahead with the case."

Tourist authorities in Warsaw, Poland, have confirmed they received the bizarre complaint.

Sure. Uh-huh. Admit it you little bitch. The only 'stray' jizz in that pool was from the stray guy you fucked in it.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nerds

Okay, for all you nerds out there, here are some t-shirts.
What do they mean?:








~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The People's Car"

With good assets sold, "New GM" exits bankruptcy

Reuters – 1 hr 35 mins ago

DETROIT (Reuters) - A new General Motors emerged from bankruptcy protection on Friday, far more quickly than most industry watchers had expected, as a leaner automaker aiming to win back American consumers and pay back taxpayers.
[...]

After Hitler took over, he came up with the Volkswagen. Now our commie pinko government is doing basically the same thing.

Maybe GM should be giving us all a new vehicle to repay their debt. After all, we're already paying for them.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"How do you feel"

I feel like I need a weekend.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BWAH!!!

I just stumbled across this picture:



Why do I giggle you ask? Because I used to have one. In fact, it was the fist vehicle I ever bought myself.

It was actually a 1961 model not 1964, but there weren't a lot of differences between it and this one.
The most obvious difference between mine and this one is mine didn't have the decorative stripe down the side. It was all solid color.
Same color of red, but with chrome rims, non-factory 304 V-8 under the console, 3-on-the-tree transmission, black tonneau cover, black velvet upholstery. It was a hoot to drive.
As you can see, there is no hood on front of the thing, so when you would pull up behind a car leaving the usual foot or so between your front end and their rear end, it would feel like you were about to drive right into their ass-end.
That was my favorite trick when I had passengers. It used to scare the hell out of them. Until they got used to it, they would always be trying to slam on the brakes on the passenger's side floorboard. Of course, there were no brake pedals there to slam.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Last Comment I Will Make About M.J. (Major Jerkoff)

I really don't understand some people and their fascination with Michael Jackson.

Back in the really old days, he and his family had some hits. Not long after that, he did some solo shit where people thought he was the cutesy little black kid with some neat songs. He eventually became a major teen star, had some hits, did some dancing, blah blah blah.

Then he went fucking nuts. He dive bombed and turned into the world's greatest joke. He was the laughing stock of the sensible populace.
He was germaphobe living in an airtight suit, wearing face masks. A plastic surgeon's wet dream continually getting his face carved until he was disfigured to the point that his momma wouldn't recognize him without being able to identify him by seeing a birthmark on his dick.
He was never convicted, but come on. A grown 'man' sleeping with other people's children? Even if he never did 'touch' them, that is just wrong.
He was crazy, and everyone who didn't laugh at him still shook their head in disbelief.

But now that he's dead he's the greatest entertainer [cough], the greatest dancer [right], the greatest peacemaker [uh-huh] to ever walk the earth. He's Ghandi, Buddha, Moses, Mohamed, Sammy Davis Jr,. Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and yes, even Jeebus himself all rolled in to one.

All I can say is that I'm glad this shit is almost over. His family will continue to make money off his dead ass. CD's are selling like hotcakes. There are books to be written - with the family's help of course, documentaries to be filmed, movies to be made, and well, you get the picture. This shit will get perpetuated for years to come. But I'll be saving my money.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What A Crock Of Shit

Stricter labeling urged for bottled water

Wed Jul 8, 7:41 PM ETSent 1,564 times

Consumers know less about the water they pay dearly for in bottles than what they can drink almost for free from the tap because the two are regulated differently, congressional investigators and nonprofit researchers say in new reports.
[...]

I have a better idea. How taxing the shit out of it?

Lawmakers keep doing stupid shit like adding taxes cigarettes - which, here in Nevada, is what pays for 'free' children's healthcare and some college scholarships. And all because they're unhealthy or an unnecessary habit. Then they pass laws outlawing smoking in tons of places, so all of a sudden that revenue goes down.

Then they add taxes to sodas and other foods because they're unnecessary or unhealthy.

Then they add taxes to hotel rooms which raises the cost of rooms when tourism is already down.

If bottled water is so unnecessary and the production of it is so bad for the environment, how about taxing the fuck out of it? People can buy a refillable water bottle at the local Super Big Box store and refill the thing from a 1 gallon jug, or a filter on their fridge, or a Britta, or a Sparklettes cooler, or whatever the hell people used to do back in the old days before there was the store bought shit.

I'm guessing we wouldn't even need a fucked up carbon footprint tax if we did this.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Erase all your bedroom failures"

Huh? Don't have any.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My, How Time Changes People

Remember Joyce DeWitt? I always thought she was a cutie:


If you don't remember her, let me refresh your memory. She used to be in the old teevee show "Three's Company" with Suzanne Sommers and John Ritter. I used to watch that stupid thing back in the day. Corny as hell, but then, most sit-coms are.

Anyway, seems she got busted for a D.U.I recently. Here's a mugshot:


My, my. Life's been 'good' to you, eh Joyce?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah. Right.

Michael Jackson hailed as greatest entertainer, best dad

BWAAAAAHHHHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah. Right. Part II.

.... HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAH [choke] [shnicker] BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAH ... [cough] ... HA-HA-HA....

Best entertainer ever. [sigh] That's a good one. BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHH.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Every extra inch in your pants means an extra number in your phone."

I don't get it. Does than mean I have to start using hexadecimal?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomorrow Morning

At 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 o'clock tomorrow morning, the time and date will be:

04:05:06, 07-08-09

Woohoo!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fucking Idiots

What???
Almost three-quarters of South Korean male office workers feel uncomfortable when female colleagues show too much leg or cleavage in the workplace, a survey has revealed. A poll of 1,254 employees by the job portal site CareerNet found that 74 percent of men felt upset with the attire of their female co-workers.

Really? I sure as hell don't.

But then, maybe it's because I'm not Korean?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"STOCK UP ON MEDS BEFORE THEY GO AWAY! OBAMA IS GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Couldn't have said it better myself.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Sauce for dish of sensuality"

Tha's just gross.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

News

Doomed Air France plane was not destroyed in flight

Reuters – 25 mins ago

PARIS (Reuters) - The Air France plane that crashed into the Atlantic last month with 228 people on board was not destroyed in mid-air but hit the water intact and at high speed, French investigators said Thursday.
[...]

I'm sure that makes the passengers feel much better then.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"The more inches in your pants, the more women in your bedroom."

No thanks, I'm tall enough.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laws, Laws And More Fucking Laws

So the bobble-heads on the news this morning mentioned that as of today, 180 new laws went into effect for the state of Nevada. At a quick glance, there some half decent ones, but for the most part they were fairly stupid.

One for instance, said that landlords had to notify renters if the property went into foreclosure. That's cool, I'm down with that. It seems only fair that you would get more than a day or two notice if you're going to get booted out of your house.

Another dealt with identity theft. Businesses are now required to show less information on your receipt. For instance, they are no longer allowed to print your credit card number. There is no reason to do that in the first place, and it never should have been done, so too bad it had to be made law.

Yet another was totally stupid. It was something along the lines of this. If a restaurant, grocer, ... whatever business, donates food to your organization and someone gets food poisoning, you can't sue them. WTF?

And last but no means least, our fucking taxes went up. Yet again. Sales tax is now at 8.1%, up from 7.75%.
And don't tell me how I have it better than blah blah blah state, that it isn't as bad as theirs. I know ours is lower than some states. But that is their voting responsibility, not mine. I didn't vote for theses taxes or even the people who raised them. My permission wasn't asked.

And it wasn't just sales tax that went up. Business licenses doubled, payroll taxes almost doubled, vehicle registration fees went up, and the state minimum wage went up which of course, businesses have to absorb. That will probably cause even more layoffs. Fuckers.

Tell me again you White House residing motherfucker how only " The Rich™ " are the ones who will see tax increases! This shit trickles down to everyone. And once taxes go up, they don't go back down.

Fuck You, You Fucking Demo-Socialist Fucks And Your Fucking Fucked Up Taxes.




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A Funny

Farrah's chat with God

On the day Farrah passed away she went to heaven. God welcomed her and asked her what she wanted most in the world. She answered she wanted all the children in world to be safe.....then Michael Jackson died.

Stoled from delftsman


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Why?

Arizona House rejects immigration enforcement bill

1 hour, 50 minutes agoSent 221 times

PHOENIX - The Arizona House has defeated a bill that would have made it the only state in the nation to criminalize the presence of illegal immigrants by expanding its trespassing law.
[...]

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it already illegal for them to be here? How would adding another law help more than simply enforcing the ones already in place?

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Spam Subject of the Day

"britney spears run over by a car"

Don't get my hopes up.



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