"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Spam Subject Of The Day

"I am 79 years young"
Meh, I ain't into robbing the cradle.





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Friday, April 27, 2007

Quote Of The Day

"Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk."



Stol't from The Princess



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The 'Reverend' Al Sharpton And The 'Reverend' Jesse Jackson Discuss The Virginia Tech Massacre


'Reverend' Al Sharpton:

'Reverend' Jesse Jackson:


'Reverend' Al Sharpton: "Ahem."

'Reverend' Jesse Jackson:


'Reverend' Al Sharpton:

'Reverend' Jesse Jackson:
[cough]

'Reverend' Al Sharpton:

'Reverend' Jesse Jackson:


'Reverend' Al Sharpton:

'Reverend' Jesse Jackson:


'Reverend' Al Sharpton: "Bummer that boy wasn't white."

'Reverend' Jesse Jackson:
"True dat."




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Not a charlo"
Whew! Good thing. Had me worried there for a minute.




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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Gore-Zilla

This nearly made me piss my pants when I saw it:


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




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From The 'DUH!!!' Files

Intelligence not linked to wealth, according to US study

AFP - Tue Apr 24, 8:23 PM ET Sent 747 times

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Intelligence has nothing to do with wealth, according to a US study published Tuesday which found that people with below average smarts were just as wealthy as those with higher IQ scores.
[...]
Well, no fucking shit. How many times have I said the same thing?

Most recently - Sean Penn and Tokyo Rosie O'Dongle come to mind. Other movie stars, talk show hosts, musicians, you name it. They all think fame=brains. Now the truth is out.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Re: prow rensselaer"
Absolutely. And right now!




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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ass Wipe

Shit wipe.
Butt scrub.
Bum fodder.

And so on...

Good gawd! Some people - take Tokyo Rosie-O for instance - I mean, just think about it. her ass is so huge, and she is so full of shit, one square of ass wipe? Get real.

I know Chery Crow was fucking around. She was making a joke. And no one in their right mind would take her seriously. But then again, she is an entertainer, and entertainers always think they know how to solve every issue.

Cher·yl·Crow [Share-ill-kroh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun
1.an utterly foolish or senseless person.
2.Psychology. a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

But nevertheless, here are a couple options if you happen to want to conserve shit scrub the "Crow" way":
  • Use pages from the Koran instead
There should be enough of those floating around to get us by for quite some time. We wouldn't have to kill any trees to make ass wipe with for a quite a while. And really, that's about the only thing the book is good for anyway. On top of that, look at the statement you'll make to camel fuckers!
  • Newspaper
A sheet of newspaper ought to be about the right size for Rosie's ass. It may take the entire Sunday paper to de-shit her canyon though.
Keep in mind though, as far left as most newspapers lean, you may have to reach around your right side with both hands to get a good scrub going.
  • "O" Magazine
That one needs no explanation. There are few things that would make some people happier than a getting a good ass cleansing with Oprah's face.

So there you go. We have plenty of options on recycling other paper sources already in use. No need to conserve on the rolls of Charmin.




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A Funny

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get
rid of Hillary Rodham Clinton?"

6. Firmly Click "Yes."

7. Feel better.

PS: Next week we'll do Nancy Pelosi.







Hat tip to: Guy K.


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Von's

I'm impressed.

I went to Von's grocery store after work yesterday to pick up a few things.
Now usually, when you go to the store you hear some sort of 'Muzak' in the air - which, most times at least makes you yawn, if it doesn't put you to sleep in the aisles.

But no, Von's was playing some good shit. I was gathering up a cartload when "Tom Sawyer" by Rush came on the speakers.

Now that is some good shit to shop to.




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Good Gawd

Mock metal group Spinal Tap to reunite

AP - 2 hours, 11 minutes ago Sent 1,591 times

NEW YORK - Spinal Tap is back, and this time the band wants to help save the world from global warming.
[...]
Just what the world needs.




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My Hero

I friggin' love Andy Capp:







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Spam Subject Of The Day

"bovine cliffhanger"
The mental image alone is good enough for this one.




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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I'll Catch Hell For This

Alcohol damages women's brains faster than men's
Reuters - Mon Apr 23, 3:11 PM ET Sent 110 times

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - The brain-damaging effects of alcohol strike women more quickly than men, a new study conducted in Russia confirms.
[...]
Yeah, tell us something we don't already know.

Oh fer gawd's sake. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Pus offend"
Usually, yes.




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Monday, April 23, 2007

Thought for the day:

"Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed Pharmacist."




Thx. Jean :)

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Spam Subject Of The Day

This one is noteworthy because of the sender:
From: "Lunacies F. Voltmeter"
You sound like quite the electric individual.




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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Well At Least We Know Where Her Priorities Lie

Hillary Clinton praises Rutgers team

By WAYNE PARRY
The Associated Press

NEW BRUNSWICK -- Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton met Friday with Rutgers women's basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer, and proclaimed that Rutgers "has a chance to be the leader of this teachable moment" on standing up to discrimination and marginalization.
[...]
After all the shit that went down last week at V.T., she chose the Sharpton path and went to Rutger's?

That just doesn't make any sense at all to me. But then, neither does Hitlery.




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Friday, April 20, 2007

Interview With The Curmudgeon

I thought I could just pass through and say 'Hi', but no. This nice young lady wouldn't let me do any drive-by commenting without guilting me into playing along:
"HEY YOU! C'mon PLAY THE GAME!"
she says.

Okay, I'll bite:
Here's 5 questions

1. Do you believe in reincarnation?
No. Who in their right mind would want to be reincarnated? Of all the living things one could possibly come back as, what are the odds you'll come back as something more desirable than say, a fucking cockroach?
And even if you come back as a human, what are the odds you'll come back as a rich King of San-hai-abhar-umbi-waheli or someplace? Yeah, fat chance.
No, the more likely scenario is that you'll come back as an assembly line worker for Nike in China, or a 10 year-old gay prostitute in Thailand.

2. Who's your daddy?
'What Mrs. Curmudgeon hears in the sack' for $1000, Alex.

3. What is our purpose here as humans?
That's deep. Way too deep.
I'm here to enjoy myself and die happy.

Seriously though, believe what you want as far as death, reincarnation, resurrection and "The Hereafter" is concerned, but I think we're here to be the best person we can be to ourselves and other people. The legacy you leave behind is what your memory will consist of.

4. Gold Canyon Candles or Yankee Candles?
I had to google this to even know what you were talking about. Does that answer the question?

5. Are you REALLY a curmudgeon or do you just play one on tv?
I never claim to be something I'm not. ;)

However, sometimes people read me wrong. I ain't really a grump. I'm normally a bit quiet - sometimes deep in thought, or as some would say, in a daze. This gets interpreted many times as sulking.
Okay, any of you brave enough to take me on as an interviewer?

Here are the rules if you want to keep it going:
1. *Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. *I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. *You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. *You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the
same post.
5. *When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.*

Don't be a chicken-shit. Do it. I dare you.




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E-Fucking-Zactly

As you know, I've been mentioning "D" a time or two. He goes by "Pick" most of the time, so that's what I'll refer to him here as.

In one of his notes I replied to, I asked if he minded me posting some of an email he sent. His reply:
"One of the reasons that make it worth strapping on bro...freedom of speech. Feel free to post anything you want that doesn't m bear ass you for knowing me"
M bare ass? Far from it. Damn proud to have you as a bud, Pick. I'm thinking up the recipe (home brew request) as we speak.

So with that I'll post a bit of news he sent:
[...]
The whole place is tucked into what is pretty much downtown Kabul, a pretty large city. I'd say similar to Denver. We are very secure, as just down the block is the presidential palace, various embassies, the International Security Force Afghanistan, etc. So there is pretty much an entire army of President Karzi's handpicked troops guarding us. I would say that in the 2 minute shuttle ride from the Safe houses to Camp Eggers you pass 5 checkpoints, are negotiating barriers the entire time, and pass maybe 200 armed soldiers. Very, very secure. Eggers itself is surrounded by a 20 something foot wall, and that's where the US forces take over with machine guns and tanks all over. And everyone is armed.

The safe houses are basically mansions that have been taken over by the various "foreign" militaries here. There are maybe 10 housing US troops, all in a one block area. This whole area is also patrolled by the same group of soldiers, with extremely controlled entry and is surrounded by a very high wall with razor wire on top. We are so safe that the only time we have to wear the body armour and have our weapons loaded is during the shuttle ride. At the safe houses and Camp Eggers you can take it off. I would estimate that each house is 6 to 8 bedroom and very nice with all the comforts of home, including cable tv and wireless internet access. So after I learn more I'll hopefully be able to hook up the laptop at "home".

I took a "pass" on the Driving training, as I had promised a certain blue eyed/red haired beauty to stay safe, so have no desire to leave the secure area and drive around. I saw all I need to see on the drive up from Bagram. The country is dry and mountainous, and we saw lots of Bedouin camps with their goats and camels. The city is chaotic as it digs itself out of the last 50 decades of Soviet then Taliban rule, with limited running water and electricity. Many of their buildings were destroyed in the wars and are still in ruins. Traffic is an absolute nightmare and I want nothing to do with it.

The Afghans themselves are simply overjoyed that we are here. We freed them from the Taliban which were pretty much hated by all, have maintained a very light hand and let them establish their own government, and pumped an enoumous amount of money into the country. They are very cordial and friendly...eager to be of any help they can. They have an old school way of making you feel welcome, preffering to chat and have tea before even thinking about getting down to bussiness. It's kinda charming, and I'm actually very impressed.

The fighting that remains in the Country is all concentrated down-south in the Kandahar area, the stronghold of al queda and the Talaban. The ease of hitting with an ied or sniper then slipping across the paki border is making life difficult. There are random, standoff attacks on coalition forces, but no pinched fire fights to speak of. The Afghans themselves are the only ones that get in that kind of fight, and they always win. The "spring offensive" is all a media hyped frenzy, and has developed into absolutely nothing.

So basically I've decided that I'm not here to fight anybody, I'm here to help a friend stand up. I think that is the attitude of everyone I work with. We maintain a very vigilant state, but the only real concerns are the very, very rare ied or suicide bomber.

How's that for a paper? Hah don't remember when I've rambled so much. But I hope it puts your mind at some ease, because I know the "not knowing" is the hard part.

And of course while I miss everyone terribly, I am still very glad that I am here and doing my small part to empower these people and let democracy shine. Their's is an old, old culture and they deserve a break.

[...]
That's the news so far. Now, if you have a minute and want to say 'Hello' to Pick, send an email to the address in my profile and I'll hand out his addy. I don't want spammers to go gabbing it, so I'll not post it here.





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18 Ways To Be A Good Liberal

This came to me in an email. Read, enjoy, chuckle, gag:
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th- graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Oops, can't do that either!




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Trojan Latex Condoms On Us"
On you?
Why would I want used rubbers?




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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Watch Yer Eyes!

Not so much NSFW as ... well, you shouldn't stare at the sun either. Can't say I didn't warn you:


[+/-] show/hide - You're sure now?





Yes, you can click it to make it bigger. As if...


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Scarred For Life?

I have two words for you poor widdle picked on 'hos' at Rutgers who said you would be "scarred for life":
Fuck off.

You shits make me sick.

You want to see scarred for life? Take a look at Virginia Tech. That name calling shit Imus spewed at you doesn't even come close to the scars VT kids are going to wear the rest of their lives. At least the ones still able to go through life.

Fucking pussies. Go cry your blues on their shoulders and see what sort of sympathy they give you in return.



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Definition of Globalization

Got this from an email:
Finally, a definition of globalization I can understand and to which I can relate:

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on
Scottish whisky, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles; treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a Canadian, using
American (Bill Gates') technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses
Taiwanese chips, and a
Korean monitor, assembled by
Bangladeshi workers in a
Singapore plant, transported by
Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by
Indonesians, unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by
Mexican illegals.....


That, my friends, is Globalization!
So simple.




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They Have The Right Idea

Belgian firm says speak Dutch or be fired

Reuters - 2 hours, 7 minutes ago

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian auto parts supplier has forbidden its workers to speak any language other than Dutch, even during their lunch break, and employees could be fired if they disobey.
[...]
Good gawd. Would I ever love to see Americans say "Speak English or...".

It will never happen, but I can dream.




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Sacré Bleu!!!

Blasts hit SW France overnight, no injuries
BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - Simultaneous explosions occurred overnight in two towns in the southwest of France near the Spanish border, causing some damage to buildings but no casualties, a police source said on Thursday.
[...]
Get zee cheese! We muzt run for zee life!!!

I'm going out on a limb here, but do you think it may have been some of those peaceful Islams playing with explosives again?
...an estimated 5 million Muslims in France.






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Shout Out Update

I got a reply from Big "D", and here's what he had to say about your comments:
I'm all over Dave's blog and appreciate the good wishes and ass whooping comments. I'm not able to blog post [snip] , but please pass my thanks and a hearty HOORAA WILL DO.

"D"
Serving Proud…Serving Payback

I have a few other sentiments in queue, but I won't put them out until "D" edits and gives me the go-ahead.
But take my word for this: No matter what the Hitlerys or the Harry Reids say, good things are happening in Afghanistan and in Iraq too. Our people over there are doing a good thing, and thanks to the lop-sided coverage much of the rest of the world will never know about it.




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A Funny

Via email again. An oldy but a goody worth reposting:
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.

After about six months of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man was standing there.

"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a party Friday night...thought you might like to come. About 5:00."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars left, he stopped. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man started to leave and stopped. "More'n likely gonna be some fightin', too."

"Well, I get along with people; I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too!"

"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Don't much matter ..... Just gonna be the two of us."







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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Righteous photon"
As opposed to an unrighteous photon?

I'm confused.



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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Big Bag O' Shit

Seems the thing a blogger does when they ain't got jack shit to say, is something along the lines of "Got Nuttin'". So here's a "Got Nuttin'" post for you.

I ain't got a damn thing to say. So I won't say anything. You can read along all you want, but you won't find anything of any substance in this entire post. I really don't have anything noteworthy I want to write about, so all this post is about is really nothing at all. Just ramblings.
I could just not post at all. Just shut my trap and save you the trouble of reading the post. After all, when you get to the end of it, you're going to say something like "Why in theeee hell did I waste my time reading this post? Good gawd. What a dipshit

But I will throw in a phunny. Actually, a couple:









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Quote Of The Day

From some random blog somewhere, the blogger was referring to something stupid he was reading:
"I laughed until I cried...and then realized I need a life."


BWAH!



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A Shout Out

This post will stay on top for several days, so cruise on down yonder for updates.
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Big 'D' - a good friend of mine in the Air Force - is on his way to Afghanistan today.

Big apology 'D', I thought you were leaving next Wednesday and was going to give you a verbal holler before you took off. Hopefully, this is second best, since I know you pop in here now and then.

Anyway, my best wishes to you and your family (wife and son) while you're away.


Note: If you happen to see a pale looking guy around 6'6" tall, sporting a skunk-striped beard with a bedsheet wrapped around his head and walking with a cane, send him to Allah for me, will you? And the more pieces Allah has to gather up and puzzle back together, the better.




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Quote Of The Day

From Steve:
"Here's a question for all the damp, limp, hand-wringing ninnies who think guns should be banned on college campuses. If you were in a classroom with Cho Seung-Hui at the door, trying to force his way in so he could shoot you and eight or nine of your friends, would you want a gun or not?

Right."




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Spam Subject Of The Day

" I wonder if the entire moon has been reworked."
Yeah, you and me both pal.

You and me both.




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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Giggle

This gave me a giggle:





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Shut Up And Drive

Airport hits cabbies for refusing fares

AP - Mon Apr 16, 6:51 PM ET Sent 189 times

MINNEAPOLIS - Taxi drivers who refuse service to travelers carrying alcohol at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport face tougher penalties despite protests from Muslim cabbies who sought a compromise for religious reasons, officials said Monday.
[...]
Simple. Camel fuckers have a choice. Take the job or not. They don't want to haul someone with booze in their possession or on their breath they can go buy a 7-Eleven or a cheap motel. They don't have to drive a cab.

I would rather someone take a cab than drive a car if they've been partying it up. I guess those muslim fucks would rather they didn't.

Fuck you. Go back to the desert. You probably can't drive worth a shit anyway.




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Obligitory Virginia Tech Post

This episode - as sad, sick, disgusting and stupid as it is - will get beat to death by the news and bloggers for quite some time. So I'll get my thoughts out there and move on:
  • That Fucking non-American moron was a nut. No matter how much the media tries to disparage guns in the coming months or years, those guns didn't pull their own triggers.
  • And no, they weren't "assault" weapons.
  • It's a lot easier for idiots and criminals to buy guns illegally when they're banned than it is for honest, law-abiding citizens to get them.
  • If there would have been more armed citizens such as trained faculty, staff, or maybe even students (Virginia is a 'Right to issue' state, Virginia Tech forbids guns), the idiot wouldn't have had to take his own life and wouldn't have taken so many innocents with him.
  • Folks can bitch all they want about the failings of the campus authorities and how they didn't shut the place down fast enough. But you can prepare for an invasion all you want and the enemy within will still utilize shortcomings.
  • Especially when they know they will meet up with no resistance.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think we need to revert back to the wild west where everyone has a hog-leg strapped on and hanging low but here is a fact: We live in a different world today than when I was growing up. It is a more dangerous world. Kids are not just packing books, pencils and cell phones to class any more. They are also carrying guns, knives and drugs to class. And you'll have to trust me on this because it may come as a shock: A lot of those guns were acquired illegally.
"Gasp!" you say? Well, it's true. Bad guys have guns. And they know that most other people don't have them because the government says they can't have them. So people are getting hurt and killed by other people shooting at them who know they don't have to worry about dodging a bullet coming back at them.

Back when I was a young strappin' lad, I had a rifle hanging on the gun rack in my truck most of the time. No, it wasn't for protection, it was there because now and then I would get the itch to go to the junkyard and shoot some bottles, cans, or whatever else I could find. A fair amount of my friends had one too. The school authorities had no problem with a gun in the car. They knew I wasn't stupid enough to take it out on school property and shoot it.

I also carried a knife in my pocket. This knife wasn't there for protection or aggression. It was there because I may need to use it. And I did need to use it many times. As a tool. I used it in shop class, camping, fishing, cutting a piece of rope or string, cutting a willow, ... Keeryst! I even used it to trim my fingernails.

But I never even considered taking the gun or the knife out in anger. If one kid in school had an issue with another kid in school, they would meet in the parking lot after school and resolve their differences. Worst case scenario, 'coach' would make them put on the gloves and duke it out during P.E. Neither would have even considered using a weapon.

But like I said, it's a different world now. People are going to have to come up with a different mindset, and handle situations a a little differently now. It's time to stop fucking around a treating people with kid gloves and get out of the habit of implementing more useless laws trying to make everyone equals. Kids and adults as well need to be recognized for their superior achievements and punished for their fuck-ups. The sooner people find out there are repercussions for their bad behaviors, the sooner they will find out about real life.

Okay, that's enough for now. I feel better.




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Spam Subject Of The Day - DRAFT

" Take your dick to the next level"
So what am I supposed to say to that?





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Monday, April 16, 2007

Spam Subject Of The Day

Say "I can have sex all night long"!
Yeah, maybe a few years ago. Not any more.




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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Outta Here

I will be outta town until Monday - again, so y'all have a weekend. K?




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What In THEEE Hell?

Bar sued over alleged police beating

1 hour, 56 minutes ago

CHICAGO - Four men who claim they were beaten by off-duty police officers at a Chicago bar sued the establishment, accusing it of serving alcohol to intoxicated officers who "assaulted and battered" them "without provocation."
[...]
Yeah, that's really going to teach the cops a lesson. "We can go drink at a bar and beat people up. All they'll do is sue the bar!"

Fucking greedy bastards hiring fucking greedy ambulance chasers. That's all it is.
The bar didn't pour the booze down the cops' throat, even if they did give it to them. The gawddamn cops are responsible!!!
It's like saying some homeowner is responsible for me getting fucked up because I drove my car into the tree in his yard.

Gawddamn! Stupid shit like this really pisses me off.





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Swell

Birkhead is father of Anna Nicole's baby
Tue Apr 10, 5:27 PM ET

NASSAU (Reuters) - A former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, was identified on Tuesday as the father of Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith's 7-month-old daughter after DNA test results were released by a Bahamas court.
[...]
Nice to know that's settled.

So, hey Dickhead er, Birkhead. How does it make you feel to know there were that many other possibles? Does it make you feel good to know that the ho' you were soaking your dick in was getting drilled by that many other nice gents?
Luck y you. Your chamber happened to contain the lucky bullet.

A high five goes out to you there bro. Make that a double.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Don't let ED affect your sex life!"
ED? ED who?
No worries. I like wimmen.




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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

BWAH!

Radio jock Imus suspended for two weeks

By Arthur Spiegelman 1 hour, 12 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Shock jock Don Imus, who has made a career out of outrageous comments, was suspended on Monday for making racist remarks by both the radio and television networks that carry his program.

CBS Radio and MSNBC, which broadcasts the radio show on television, suspended Imus for two weeks for saying the mostly black Rutgers University women's basketball team looked like a bunch of "nappy-headed hos."
[...]
The two main arguments I've heard are:
  1. "CSB/MSNBC hired him knowing what he is like, so they shouldn't be penalizing him for doing what he does."
  2. "He said a racist thing and should be fired immediately."
The way I see it, is if those words were part of on of the many rap "songs" on the market, he would have a hit record on his hands. Especially if he was black.
Fucking shit.

Lyrics in rap songs are more derogatory than anything to ever the radio and teevee airwaves, but yet those are not only totally acceptable, but they're worth a fucking fortune.

You don't see Al Sharpton clouding up and raining all over rappers asses.




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You're Kidding, Right?


Automakers challenge Vermont emissions law

By Scott Malone 2 hours, 44 minutes ago

BURLINGTON, Vermont (Reuters) - The U.S. auto industry challenges Vermont in court on Tuesday, trying to block efforts by 10 states adopting stricter limits on vehicle emissions of carbon dioxide, a main greenhouse gas.
[...]
Carbon dioxide? You mean the gas - along with water vapor - which is the result of complete combustion?
You mean the same stuff we exhale after taking in air?

I have your cure right here: Limit the hot air blown by these dumb-ass politicians to maybe something like one hour a day. Levels of C02 gas would drop to immeasurable levels in a matter of weeks.




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Fucking Morons At It Again

Guns at home equal higher suicide risk: study

40 minutes ago

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Suicide rates among people of all ages are higher in states where more homes have guns, U.S. researchers reported on Tuesday.
[...]
Once again, and try to follow along here - I'll speak slowly:

It's. Not. The. Gun. It's. The. Moron. Holding. It.

I've got five bucks that says you could substitute the word 'pills' for 'guns' in the above statement and it would work just as well.
Or maybe substitute 'razors'. Or maybe even 'cars'. Or in Brad Delp's case, 'BBQ grill' fer chrissakes.

If someone really wants to off them self they or someone else, they will find a way.





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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Is mercedita because kernville"
Well, that explains it then.




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Monday, April 09, 2007

Hey Yabu

That's a nice rack.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Or it fifty"
No, it forty-two.




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Saturday, April 07, 2007

Happy Friggin' Birthday!!!

Lee.




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Friday, April 06, 2007

Okay, One More. That's It







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Even More Easter Shit

The pope also wishes you a Happy Easter!






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Any Chance You Could Take Her Hunting Cheney?

Cheney accuses Pelosi of "bad behavior" in Syria
[...]
Cheney harshly criticized Pelosi's visit to
Syria this week and declared in an interview, "The president is the one who conducts foreign policy, not the speaker of the House."
[...]
I don't know who the fuck she thinks she is, but whatever it is, she ain't.

You just don't send a boy to do a man's job.



To wit:

It is really scary that she is so far up the ladder she could by default, end up being the President of the United States. Odds are it wouldn't happen. But if by chance it did, good gawd.



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Even More Easter Shit

A funny:





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More Easter Shit

Peeps: I hate them. They're disgusting.

But they do make nice apparel:








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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Is expanse before nucleate"
Absolutely. It just hasn't been proven yet.




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Thursday, April 05, 2007

'Nuther Funny

Well, not so much.
It's really about the nanny state, libtard, litigious society we live in nowdays:






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Just So You Know

One of my all-time favorite songs: A tout le monde



Crank it up. Listen. Enjoy.




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A Funny

One day last week, a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up:

Fireman
Mechanic
Businessman
Salesman
Doctor
Lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some math problems and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said,

"He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton elected as our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids"








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F.E.M.A, Brownie, Rinse Repeat

New Orleans weighs evacuation plans
AP - Wed Apr 4, 9:01 PM ET

NEW ORLEANS - With hurricane season less than two months away and memories of Katrina less than two years old, city leaders are still trying to sort out how they will evacuate residents this year if another storm approaches.
[...]
So in other words, they're still unprepared, and still don't have a clue.

Best of luck this year folks.
Still using the trailers from the last one?




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Morons

Idaho shooters target National Guard

By JOHN MILLER, Associated Press Writer 56 minutes ago

BOISE, Idaho - For years, ATV-riding, gun-toting sport shooters have flouted gun laws in part of Idaho's high desert by taking pot shots at ground squirrels and other animals. Now, officials say, they're also setting their sights on National Guard tanks that train in the area.

Rifles and pistols have been banned in a 68,000-acre area of the Snake River Birds of Prey National Conservation Area since 1996.

But the federal Bureau of Land Management is considering expanding the gun-restricted area by 41,000 acres to try to limit shootings at Idaho Army National Guard troops who report slugs bouncing off their tanks on a regular basis.
[...]
It's idiots like this that give us responsible gun 'toters' a bad name.

The cure? Easy. Shoot back.
Those National Guardsmen should have enough fire power to remedy the situation.






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Spam Subject Of The Day

"In respiration which remit"
Something like that.





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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Before You Load Those Buckets Of Paint In Your Hatchback

Think twice:















~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rudy Giuliani

I've never had much of an opinion one way or the other about Rudy. In fact, I had never heard his name until 9/11, and of course he grabbed the spotlight and held on to it as long as he possibly could - just like every other mayor would have done in his shoes.

But if Ted Rall hates him, he must not be that bad of a candidate. Especially compared to Hitlery.

Enlighten me please.




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Fuckers

3 at Yale accused of burning U.S. flag

Wed Apr 4, 9:01 AM ET

NEW HAVEN, Conn. - Three Yale University students, one a U.S. citizen born in Pakistan, were arrested on charges of setting fire to an American flag hanging outside a home.
[...]
Huh? Whuzzat? Areested for burning a flag?
What's that about? I thought it wasn't illegal to burn a flag. Freedom of speech, expression, blah blah blah.
...were arrested early Tuesday on charges ranging from reckless endangerment to arson, police said.
[giggle] Arrest them for reckless endangerment and arson! I love it!

Hey, whatever works.




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Huh?

5th-graders accused of sex in school
[...]
The students were arrested Tuesday at the Spearsville school in rural north Louisiana, authorities said. Two 11-year-old girls, a 12-year-old boy and a 13-year old boy were charged with obscenity, a felony. An 11-year-old boy, the alleged guard, was charged with being an accessory.
[...]
At that age, I barely knew how to wash my dick. The idea of poking some girl with it would never even have occurred to me.




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About Fucking Time

Iran president says to free British sailors

54 minutes ago

TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad freed 15 British sailors and marines on Wednesday, offering a "gift" to Britain that ended a 13-day crisis which had rattled world financial markets.
[...]
The Iranis knew they were going to get their ass handed to them eventually, so they made the only decision they could make.

In the meantime, gas prices will still go up.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"that glue"
Which glue? Oh that glue.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Almost Easter

Time for the chocolate bunny cartoon again:





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And From The 'Get A Life' Department

Humane Society holds doggie yoga class

AP - 1 hour, 20 minutes ago

BELLEVUE, Wash. - Beans, a majestic 2-year-old Vizsla, however, is ready to play. The overgrown puppy has tried to relax with his owner, Chantale Anderson, but once Magnet the black lab heads off to explore the room, Beans is ready to go.
[...]
Now I like dogs. They make good pets. They can even make a good meal. But taking them and doing yoga?
Dogs know when it's time to eat, time to sleep, and time to shit. Yoga?

I have a bridge over a swamp I would like to sell you losers.

Fucking morons.




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Daddy Must Be So Proud

Boy's vacuum expertise earns him TV shot

AP - Sat Mar 31, 3:16 PM ET

ADRIAN, Mich. - A 12-year-old boy who has collected more than 150 vacuum cleaners says he is learning to identify them by sound. "I'm getting pretty good at it," Kyle Krichbaum told the Detroit Free Press.
[...]
Uh, yeah. Now that's something to be proud of. Knowing all sorts of shit about vacuums will definitely get him quite far in life I'm sure.

But then again, vacuum cleaner sales pukes probably get paid better than burger flippers.




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Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Forecasters predict busy Atlantic hurricane season

24 minutes ago

MIAMI (Reuters) - The 2007 Atlantic hurricane season will be far more active than usual with an expected 17 tropical storms, of which nine will strengthen into hurricanes, a noted forecasting team founded by Dr. William Gray said on Tuesday.
[...]
Blah blah blah. Same thing they said last year.

Damn Bush and his global warming.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Sure it's time"
Yes it is. Time to go fuck yourself.




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Monday, April 02, 2007

A Chuckle


Gave me a giggle.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LOOOOOSERS!

Grieving couple commits suicide after dog dies

Reuters - 1 hour, 41 minutes ago

HYDERABAD, India (Reuters) - Unable to come to terms with the death of their pet dog, an elderly couple in southern India committed suicide by hanging themselves, police said on Monday.
[...]
At least we won't have to worry about them driving any more.




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What A Novel Idea

Fancy that:
Italian becomes official language ... of Italy

Reuters - Fri Mar 30, 12:47 PM ET

ROME (Reuters) - It's official. The language of Italy is Italian -- but not everyone is happy about it.
[...]
Maybe everyone in America should ... oh, I dunno. Maybe speak english? Just a thought.

I'm sure some folks would be pissed just like some Italians are, but they could get the fuck over it.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Be no kinder"
I'm working on it.




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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Politically Incorrect

You've probably heard about the big chocolate Jesus fiasco. Here's an alternative:



Just thought I would see how many people this would piss off.


Update: I guess the display has been canceled.
Oh well. They're welcome to Muhammed if they want to use it instead.




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Insane

Passengers may be sued in imams' removal
MINNEAPOLIS - Six Muslim men removed from a plane last fall after being accused of suspicious behavior are suing the airline and threatening to sue the passengers who complained — a move some fear could discourage travelers from speaking up when they see something unusual.
[...]
Once again, criminals (alledged or not) have more rights than law-abiding citizens.
Q- What's the difference here between camel fuckers talking shit or shaved head neo-nazis talking shit?
A- Not a gawddam thing.

Yes kids, ass up for Allah. And kiss the libtards' feet while you're down there. Get some practice in for when you are compelled to stop and pray 5 times a day, because that is your new religion.



Hat tip: Dick


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