"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

A Funny

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Made me chuckle.

Now That's Pissed

Rio man saws woman in half over parking dispute :

Reuters - 10 minutes ago

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - A street parking attendant in Brazil's crime-ridden city of Rio de Janeiro was charged with sawing a woman in two over a parking space dispute, police said on Wednesday.
[...]
The man said Souza [victim] had humiliated him.
I would love to find out what she said that pissed him off that bad. I could use that info.

Never Would Have Guessed That

Hit-and-run driver unstable, family says:

AP - Wed Aug 30, 7:10 AM ET

SAN FRANCISCO - The driver in a bloody hit-and-run spree that killed one man and injured more than a dozen people was mentally unstable ...
Gee. Do ya think?

This Day in History - Assorted

CLEOPATRA COMMITS SUICIDE:

Cleopatra, queen of Egypt and lover of Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, takes her life following the defeat of her forces against Octavian, the future first emperor of Rome.
[...]
I hear she was quite the looker. A slut, but a looker.
But, she played with one too many snakes.
1963 : The U.S.-Soviet "hot line" goes into operation
Yeah. The big red phone they put in the White House you see in the movies.
1992: Northern Exposure wins Emmy

TV series Northern Exposure wins the Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series. The offbeat show, about a Manhattan doctor forced to work in a small Alaska town, consistently ranked in the Top 20 most-watched TV shows until it was cancelled in 1995.
I fucking loved that show! It was hilarious.
Except the last season sorta started going downhill what with so many 'visions' and all. If you watched the show you would know what I'm talking about.

Okay, that's enough history lesson for now. Get busy.

Newsflash(es)

JonBenet killer still unknown
Wed Aug 30, 3:23 AM ET

BOULDER, Colo. (Reuters) - Two weeks after the stunning arrest of John Mark Karr for the long-unsolved murder of 6-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey, Colorado prosecutors on Tuesday tried to explain how the case fell apart and were left wondering if they would ever find her killer.

In other news:
  • Sky Still Blue
  • World Still Turning
  • Michael Moore-on Still Eating Cheeseburgers

Spam Subject of the Day

"iorxhe"
Huh?

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Funny

Quote Of The Day

Stumbled on this at some random button place:
"A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
Bwah!

Bummer

Postman suspended for anti-junk mail advice:

LONDON (Reuters) - A postman who gave people advice on how to stem the rising tide of junk mail into their homes has been suspended and could lose his job.
I think he deserves a medal.

On Another Note

What the fuck is with this fucking fucked up blogger?
Good gawd-amighty. The shit breaks every fucking day! Is Google like, one big fucking beta?

Not that I'm bitter or anything, but - FUCK!


Update: It's all Bush's fault.

Now That's Entertainment

I would like to watch this:
Ahmadinejad challenges Bush to TV debate

Reuters - 1 hour, 14 minutes ago TEHRAN (Reuters) - President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad voiced defiance on Tuesday as a deadline neared for Iran to halt work the West fears is a step toward building nuclear bombs, and challenged President Bush to a televised debate.
I think it would quite interesting to listen to that camel fucker spew his bullshit, then see how many Americans actually believe what he would have to say.
"assfuckked ageed without mercy. unprocreant"
Yup. That's the way I feel sometimes.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Blogads Gone Wild

Where I saw it doesn't matter, but it was somewhere blog related.
Anyway, it made me chuckle:

Up all night blogging?
A shocking secret big coffee co's don't want you to know.
www.coffeefool.com


What the hell is this, the 'Enquirer' of blog ads?

My look-Alikes

There seems to be a lot of people doing this heritage bullshit. See what celebreties they look like. So I figgered, what the hell. Here's mine:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Click to see bigger.

This Is News?

Ethanol turned into food-grade alcohol:

AP - Sun Aug 27, 6:06 PM ET Sent 79 times

AMES, Iowa - Now that ethanol has become common in gas tanks, two Iowa State University professors are working to get it into martini glasses.
[...]
Hell, shiners have been doing this for years.

I can see it now. A line running from the gas tank to the dashboard. Good ole' corn squeezin's right there next to the radio.

What Did I Say? WHAT DID I SAY!?!?!

Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive:

AP - Mon Aug 28, 8:13 AM ET Sent 81 times

BEIJING - A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said Monday.
[...]
"Just when I think someone has reached the peak [of stupidity], someone zooms right past them."

'Nuther Maroon

New Orleans mayor sorry for WTC remark:

NEW YORK - New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin says he's sorry he used the term 'hole in the ground' to describe the World Trade Center site.
[...]
Every time this asshole opens his mouth it's only to change feet.
But hey. You 'Nawlins' folks voted him back in. Deal with it.

Stockholmesque

Austrian girl says refused to call captor "master"
VIENNA (Reuters) - An Austrian girl traumatized by an eight-year kidnap ordeal said in her first public statement on Monday that she had refused her captor's demand to call him "master," yet mourned his suicide after her escape.
[...]

"My youth was different," she said. "But I was also spared a lot of things -- I did not start smoking or drinking and I did not hang out in bad company."
[...]
Uh, yeah. I guess you've got that going for you.
In 1998, Priklopil abducted the then 10-year-old on her way to school and locked her up in a windowless cell hidden beneath his garage in a village outside Vienna.

Following Kampusch's escape while she was vacuuming his car last week, he threw himself under a train in Vienna.
[...]
It's really too bad the asshole killed himself. He deserved a little of the same.
You know, captivity and unlimited sex.

Spam Subject of the Day

"join, oyster white"
Mmmm. I like oysters.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Okay Folks

Another 3 day weekend for me. See ya' next week!

Whatta Maroon

Officials: Man says penis pump is a bomb :

AP - 16 minutes ago Avg. Rating: 4.7

CHICAGO - Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey.
[...]
There just isn't anything I can add to this, other than just how fucking stupid do you have to be to report something as a bomb?
Good gawd-a-mighty.

Bummer

Astronomers say Pluto is not a planet:


PRAGUE, Czech Republic - Leading astronomers declared Thursday that Pluto is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.
That's going to fuck things up. All the textbooks, astonomy journals and papers, everything since Pluto was discovered. All to please some the scientists.

They need to find something better to do.

Speaking of which:
Farmers believe cows 'moo' with an accent
Reuters - Wed Aug 23, 1:33 PM ET Sent 486 times
LONDON (Reuters) - Cows have regional accents, a group of farmers claims, and phonetics experts say the idea is not as far-fetched as it sounds.
Ugh.

Spam Subject of the Day

"66% of members got laid"
Sorry. Them ain't good enough percentages. I'll keep looking.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

For Those Of You Keeping Tabs On The Situation

L’Affaire GoldFrisch III: We All Knew This Was Coming at Blog P.I. (beta):

Deb Frisch's Lane County Docket

Deb Frisch's Lane County Docket

This could get interesting.

The Future Of Airline Travel

The Annual "Make You Feel Old" List

BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST® FOR THE CLASS OF 2010.
Members of the class of 2010, entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988. For them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead.

1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in "big boxes."
6. There has always been only one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
10. Thanks to pervasive headphones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.
11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.
14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.
15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football teams.
16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.
18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.
20. Text messaging is their email.
21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.
23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.
25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.
26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.
27. There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA.
28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.
30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing religious organizations in the U.S.
31. They grew up in mini-vans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.
33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "...can we all get along?"
34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.
39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else
40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.
43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.
44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.
45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.
46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.
47. Small white holiday lights have always been in style.
48. Most of them never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."
50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with outlandish birthday parties.
51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.
52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.
54. There have always been live organ donors.
55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.
56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.
59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.
61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.
64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.
65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.
66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
68. "Outing" has always been a threat.
69. Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.
70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.
71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.
73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.
74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

That Takes Balls

Tom Cruises mission aborted at studio :

Reuters - 2 hours, 35 minutes ago Sent 252 times

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Paramount Pictures and actor Tom Cruise called an end to their 14-year production deal on Wednesday as the chairman of the studio's parent company took a parting shot at the movie star's off-screen behavior.
[...]
He's made them a ton of money. But since he's an idiot, they fired him.
Good for them!

You Think You're Having A Bad Day

  • Boy Scouts save toddler from river AP - 1 hour, 34 minutes ago

    OMAHA, Neb. - A troop of Boy Scouts on a camping trip saved an 18-month-old girl who had fallen in a river upstream from them and was floating face down, officials said.

"Where's yer mommy?"
"Oh, she must be drinkin' with daddy."
  • Injured woman drowns during rescue AP - 42 minutes ago

    CHARLESTOWN, N.H. - A rescue boat taking an injured woman to an ambulance capsized in a river, trapping her beneath it and drowning her, authorities said.

That's gotta suck.
  • 2 dead, 1 injured in charity ride AP - Wed Aug 23, 12:22 AM ET

    COVINGTON, Ind. - A van struck bicyclists riding to raise money for families of slain police officers, killing a state trooper and a retired police chief and injuring another cyclist, police said.

Where's a cop when you need one? Oh.
  • Despondent man, 91, kills wife, self AP - Tue Aug 22, 10:43 PM ET

    PORTLAND, Ore. - A 91-year-old man despondent over his wife's need to move to a nursing facility shot her to death and then killed himself in Clackamas County.

Ah, the old $.38 bullet cure. Saved a bunch of money on that one.

Spam Subject of the Day

"foursquare Look what you can have carroll expulsion"
That sounds like something I could use.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Mystery Solved

Guys often wonder what it is they're up to when say, there are a group of you out to dinner, and one of the women says she needs to go "freshen up". Of course, she can never go alone, so at least one - if not all - of the other women at the table immediately jump up and go with her.

Well, I have the answer. From a company-wide email today:
"Does anyone know where and why some items are that were removed from the ladies restroom? The missing items are a purple clipboard that held a tablet of paper and a crossword puzzle book. A note asking the owner to remove them before discard would have been nice.

Thank you "
She needs help with one of the clues.

More Big Brother

Carmakers must tell buyers about 'black boxes' :

Reuters - 1 hour, 11 minutes ago Sent 226 times

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The government will not require recorders in autos but said on Monday that car makers must tell consumers when technology that tracks speed, braking and other measurements is in the new vehicles they buy.
[...]
Uh, I got news for you. If you've purchased a car any time since oh, about 1996, chances are few that you don't have one of these things in there already. Especially if it's a domestic.

Rather Unnerving

North Korea threatens attack due to war drills:

By Jon Herskovitz Tue Aug 22, 5:34 AM ET

SEOUL (Reuters) -
North Korea said it had the right to launch a pre-emptive attack to counter a U.S.-South Korean joint military training drill, its official media reported on Tuesday.
[...]
L'il Kim will think of any excuse to try and flex his muscles.
North Korea is a loaded gun with a hair trigger right now. Dangerous situation.


Update:
"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow that fucker off the planet!"

Spam Subject of the Day

"more"
Of what?

Monday, August 21, 2006

Now That Was, Uh, Interesting

First of all, WCW or WWE or whatever the hell you want to call it, well - good gawd. Wrestling? Not hardly. Major production? Most definitely.
I hate the shit. I can't believe anyone is actually entertained by the shit. But yet it's quite obvious someone is. It's a multi-million dollar enterprise, and the 'theatre' is alway packed, if not sold out.

Now here's the scenario:
A going away party for someone's daughter who is on her way to college. There was plenty of food, drinks and guests, with Word Championship Wrestling on the teevee.
Now let me tell you this. Even guys who are not fans can tolerate it, maybe even get into it a little. Most womenfolk - not so much. But if you've never watched WCW with homos, well now, you just ain't lived. THAT was an experience.

Like I said, there plenty of drinks. Allah be praised.

Go Figger

Las Vegas passes public defecation law :

AP - Fri Aug 18, 4:20 PM ET

LAS VEGAS - City officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces, but the city attorney says the new law was passed by mistake and won't be enforced.
[...]
You heard right. It is now illegal to piss or shit on the street. Or if you are a bum and sleep in the park, you can't shit on the grass or piss in the bushes. Or on the sidewalk.

Progress baby. That's progress!

A Cat?

Firefighters shot at for not helping cat :

AP - Sat Aug 19, 5:11 PM ET

KINGMAN, Ariz. - A man angry at firefighters who refused to rescue a cat from a tree was arrested after he started shooting at the fire crew, officials said.
[...]
Yeah. And how did that work for you?

Uuumm, Yeah

Are you SURE you want to remove that?:

Reuters - Sat Aug 19, 10:10 AM ET Sent 505 times

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.
Oh the many scenarios that come to mind.
For instance, where was he during the beat off-a-thon? He could have doubled his pleasure uh, pledges.

How about a "double header"?

Spam Subject of the Day

"crowfoot grady Regarding MSN pedro"
Sure. I know that guy.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Excellent Post

treppenwitz: It's Islam, stupid:

[...]
Over the past few days British and U.S. security officials have been interviewed about the new security measures in place after the [apparently] foiled attempt to smuggle liquid explosives onto a bunch of trans-Atlantic flights. Their solutions make absolutely no sense! They have little old ladies from Peoria throwing away their Florida Water. They have teenagers dumping shampoo, hair gel and conditioners from their purses and backpacks. They have people tossing out their contact lens solution!!!

What they aren't doing is mining the database which contains the name and salient details of every Muslim man woman and child in the free world (a database I assure you exists), and demanding that every one of these potential jihadists be subjected to the same waiting period to buy a plane ticket as most U.S. citizens have to endure before purchasing a handgun.

There it is. Call me a racist. Call me a bigot. Call me whatever you want.
[...]
Oh, and let's be sure and not intrude on their space by tapping their phone lines either.

Go read the rest. But you may want to refrain from being near any heavy objects. If you have any emotions at all, you will want to throw them across the room.


Hat tip to Yabu.

Uh, Thanks, You Fuck

For doing your part for the war effort.
Iraqi group uses Michael Moore film to mock Bush:

Fri Aug 18, 6:02 AM ET

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - An Iraqi militant group has produced an elaborate video of what it said were attacks on U.S. troops, in the latest example of the increasingly sophisticated propaganda war being waged by Iraqi insurgents.
[...]

Lifting scenes from Michael Moore's anti-war film "Fahrenheit 9/11," Rashedeen's narrator taunts
President Bush in softly spoken English over graphic images of Humvees being blown up by roadside bombs, and purportedly dead U.S. troops.
[...]
Every little bit helps.

No Point To This Post Really

I just stumbled upon this.

So whaddya think, face of an angel? Girl next door?:



Or just another Israel Defense Force soldier?





[+/-] See the rest of the picture

Spam Subject of the Day

"pliant Keep it bimetallism"
You sayin' what I think you're sayin'?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

...And I Turn Water Into Wine

Thanks to a referral from this fine gent, I just read what is one of the most astronomically arrogant posts I've ever read.

But, once you send it through 'The Dialectizer', it reads much better, yo. Dig dis:

Ova' de past mond (since I left Terrence) I've received several offers uh dates and relashunships fum various dudes who eyeball dis blog. What it is, Mama! I'm not lookin' fo' some new boyhomey right now but it seems ah' should clarify whut it be I look fo' in some man when ah' am, which gots'ta hopefully stem de flow uh offers fum dudes who real don't gots it. Man!

I's gots'ta be some very high-quality honky chick. ah' know dat sounds arrogant, but let's consida' de facts, dig dis:

  • I be slim (whereas 62% uh American honky chicks age 20 t'74 is overweight)
  • I be attractive (my new picture gots been rated mo'e attractive dan 86% uh de honky chicks on Hot o' Not -- and da damn honky chicks who download deir pictures is a self-selected sample dat be probably already biased towards bein' mo'e attractive dan de general dudette populashun)
  • I be relatively yung (whereas 82% uh American adult honky chicks is ova' 30 years old)
  • I be intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when ah' wuz some child, which be 3 standard deviashuns above da damn mean -- higha' dan 99.85% uh de populashun. Even if I've gotsten dumba' as I've aged I'm probably still at least some 130, which be higha' dan 97.5% uh de populashun.)
  • I be educated (whereas 77% uh American honky chicks do not gots bachelo's degrees)
  • I gots mah' financial shit togeda' (no debt, puh'fect credit histo'y, 6+ monds livin' 'espenses saved, adequate insurance, self employed)
  • I gots some strong libido and love havin' sex (my lova' *never* gots'ta beg, unless it's fo' me t'let him dig some sleep! Right on!)
  • Most uh my interests tend t'be mo'e popular wid dudes dan honky chicks: science ficshun, libertarianism, bloggin', politics, economics, guns, gamblin', etc. Co' got d' beat!

Given dat self-improvement be an ongoin' project uh mine dis list gots'ta continue t'grow (I'm currently wo'kin' on addin' bilin'ual, real physically fit, well-traveled, higha' income, and fantastic cook t'de list). So's even when “relatively yung” (an impo'tant criteria fo' most men) drops off dat list, ah' should gots added enough oda' din's dat mah' overall datin' market value should remain de same o' even improve.

Oh, there's more. Much, much, much fucking more.
Good gawd. How can she stand to be around herself?

From The 'Duh' Files - Again

Exercise shrinks abdominal fat cells :

Reuters - Wed Aug 16, 3:24 PM ET Sent 1,519 times

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Exercise may be especially helpful in reducing the size of fat cells around the waistline -- more so than diet alone, a study suggests. That's important, because fat specifically in the abdomen has been linked to the risk of heart disease and diabetes.
[...]
No! You're fucking kidding me! I never would have guessed that.

Uh, yeah. More grant money wasted.

Just What We Need

Immigrant takes refuge in Chicago church :

AP - Wed Aug 16, 8:36 PM ET

CHICAGO - Immigration activists around the country are taking up the cause of a single mother who invoked the ancient principle of sanctuary and took refuge in a Chicago church rather than submit to deportation to Mexico.
[...]
We're going to need more and bigger churches if that shit keeps up. Maybe we can use illegals for the labor?

My Latest Interview With Michael Moore-on

Curmudgeon: Hey Michael, it's been a while since we've talked. What's going on?

Moore-on: I'm getting really stoked, what with the primarys and all.

Curmudgeon: Yeah, I see Lieberman is out of it.

Moore-on: BUSH LIED! ILLEGAL WAR! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE OOOOIIIIILLLL! CUT AND RUN!!! Anyone who supported going to Iraq is politically fucking dead. Dead I tell you.

Curmudgeon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same old shit, huh? You've been talking to Cindy again, haven't you?

Moore-on: She's so hot. Mmmmm. I'd like to get in her pants...

Curmudgeon: Good gawd.

Moore-on: She's been on that diet you know. She's looking quite trim.

Curmudgeon: So you going to Crawford then?

Moore-on: Fuck that! You think Im going to diet? You fucking crazy?

Curmudgeon: Sorry, had a little brain fart. Should have known better.

Moore-on: Speaking of which, ... [lifts left cheek, squeezes off a squeaker]

Curmudgeon: You're sick! Jeebus, that fucking stinks!

Moore-on: DAYUM! Something about these folding chairs. Must have been the half-dozen pickled eggs, twelve pack, and extra large Domino's with anchovies, bell peppers, and mushrooms I had before that blueberry cheesecake from Cheesecake factory I had last night.
Ever had one of the cheesecakes from Cheesecake Factory? Dude. It makes my dick hard just thinking about it.

Curmudgeon: Followed by the rotted corpse you consumed?

Moore-on: Now now. Don't let's be nasty now

Curmudgeon: So, about Crawford...

Moore-on: Naw, I'll let sweety-pants and her gang, . . . did I mention how hot she is? Mmmm. Grieving has really brought out the characteristics. Any way, I'll just hang out there and harass Dubya. I've got other shit to do. I don't really want to get involved, I just want to point out the errors of everyone else's ways. You know, bitch a little, lie a little, make another 'documentary. . . I'm worth way too much to actually do anything. But as long as I can stay safely back here away from the front lines and whine, I'm good.

Curmudgeon: Yeah, you run with the right pack for that.

Curmudgeon: Well, it's been. . .I gotta run. See ya on Gore's interweb!

Spam Subject of the Day

"cytoplasm"
Now there's something I could use.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A Funny

So these two firemen are butt-fucking in the fire station.

The captain walks in on them and asks "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? I thought I told to go practice your CPR!"

One of the firemen replies "But sir. That's how it all started!"





The Latest Gas Price Comic

Good Gawd

I thought this had been abandoned a long time ago:
Police make arrest in JonBenet Ramsey murder: report:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - An arrest has been made in Thailand in the 10-year-old murder of JonBenet Ramsey, a child beauty queen whose grisly death triggered a U.S. media frenzy, a Denver TV station said on Wednesday.
[...]
Well, it should have been.

Go Figger

Here's a quote for all you self-righteous do-gooders out there. You know who you are. You folks who holler about eeeeevil Bush and his illegal war, march in your demonstrations, burn your flags, throw your tantrums, cough up some dope smoke and a couple flakes of soggy granola:
"Over and over and over we do this, just as if we were really so stupid as to not realize how ineffectual it is. Nobody is that stupid. Our ineffectuality is as plain as day. Deep in our hearts we know it is not stupidity that holds us back. It is cowardice. We are too cowardly to engage in the only activities that could actually put an end to imperialism, strikes, sabotage and open rebellion. That stuff is dangerous. So we play it safe and merely pretend to be in opposition. We make a lot of noise. We delude ourselves into believing we are making a difference. We go home feeling self righteous. Nothing changes. Again."
Ain't it the truth.
It's easier to just bitch about something than change it.


Here's where I read it: Housewife4Palestine.

Huh?

Mexican fishermen found after 11 months at sea:

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Three Mexican fishermen found drifting in the Pacific Ocean could have been lost for almost a year and two others were missing and presumed dead, the manager of a fishing company that rescued them said on Wednesday.

Early reports suggested the fishermen had been lost at sea for about three months and drifted more than 8,000 km (5,000 miles) before they were found by a Taiwanese tuna fishing trawler in waters between the Marshall Islands and Kiribati on August 9.
[...]
I don't know whether to believe this or not. 11 months drinking rain water and eating fish and birds? And they never got capsized in a storm? Someone is full of shit here.

Grim

Carter's son wins Nevada Senate primary:

RENO, Nev. - Presidential son Jack Carter easily won the Democratic primary to challenge U.S. Sen. John Ensign, while Nevada voters set up an intriguing governor's race and delivered a razor-thin victory to a GOP candidate vying for an open U.S. House seat.

Former President Carter's son easily advanced to the November general election, drawing 78 percent of the vote in Tuesday's Democratic primary.
[...]
I'm thinking Nevada Dems are either idiots (redundancy alert), or have a short memory. If he's anything like daddy.

This Day in History - Elvis Has Left The Planet

Or has he?

From HistoryChannel.com
1977 Elvis Presley dies

Elvis Presley is found dead at Graceland, his mansion in Memphis. While congestive heart failure was cited as the official cause of death, drug abuse was suspected as a contributing factor.
[...]
Uuh, thankyou. Thankyouverymuch.

Spam Subject of the Day

"broach Regarding Money supposable"
No clue.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

This One's For Jean

Here's to your "Cat Day".
And here's the ony cat I can really tolerate:



Speaking Of Dead Kittens

The weekly poker game was being held at little Johnnys house and he was being a regular problem, he would call out the cards the guys held and sneak into the snacks and beer until Uncle Clyde had enough.

Clyde took little Johnny by the hand and led him out of the room.

Clyde came back alone and things settled down and the poker games were going along nicely.

Finally after a couple of hours, Johnny's dad asked Clyde, what did you do with Johnny?

Clyde replied, nothin much, I just showed him how to jack off.





Thanx again Patty. :)

Woops

60 puppies perish in Mass. trailer fire:

AP - 44 minutes ago

LOWELL, Mass. - A trailer carrying dozens of puppies to Northeast pet stores caught fire just off an interstate, killing all of the estimated 60 dogs inside, authorities said.
[...]
See? That's what happens you beat off too much.

Oh, wait. That was supposed to be kittens:




How Convenient

NASA can't find original tape of moon landing :

Mon Aug 14, 5:48 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. government has misplaced the original recording of the first moon landing, including astronaut Neil Armstrong's famous 'one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,' a NASA spokesman said on Monday.
[...]
Of course they can't. Remember? It was all staged. Fake. There is no tape.

This Day in History - Clusterfuck

From HistoryChannel.com:

1969 Woodstock begins in upstate New York

The Woodstock Music and Art Fair, 'An Aquarian Exposition,' opens at Max Yasgur's dairy farm in upstate New York. Promoters expected the music festival, modeled after the famous Monterey Pop Festival, to attract up to 200,000 for the weekend, but nearly a half a million people converged on the concert site.
[...]
Three days of sex, mud, sex, drugs, sex, rock and roll, sex, hippies, and sex. And everyone knows someone who knows someone who was there, right?

Spam Subject of the Day

"Re: misty"
As in "Play Misty For Me"?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Is It Just Me?

Or does anyone else get a little exhilerated when upon swatting a fly, you see one of their eyes laying a good distance from the rest of their body? Popped of like a zit on the mirror?

That's what I thought.

Gone Fishin'

No, not me, the bears. Go here:
National Geographic Bear cam.

Quite cool, but I couldn't get it to work using Firefox. I had to use Internet Exploder. Good luck.
It will only be around for about another week, so hurry!
Here are a couple screen caps:





Uh, YOOOOO-HOOOOO!

Sheehan offers refuge to war deserters:

Activist makes property available near Bush ranch

[...]
Now almost 40 days into her fast supporting war resisters and their families, Sheehan, though weak, announced that she is offering land she bought in Crawford near Bush's ranch as a refuge for U.S. troops who desert to resist the war in Iraq.
[...]
Hmm. It would make the deserters easier to find.

Huh? Whuzzat?

I was first directed to this story by Mark, then I saw it again on Fark. I guess I just can't let it slip by without throwing my two cents in.

Metrosexual? Retrosexual? Menaissance? What the fuck is this all about?

These tags people in the media - be it news, fashion rags, some sort of gendered style magazines - are hanging on men to ease them into some sort of classification, for what I think is their own personal comfort or pleasure, or let's just get to the real meat here, to sell clothers, perfume, whatever.

Most fashion magazines don't hold back. You're a fag - buy these clothes.
Others appeal to the 'men' that read them a different way, making them think they're not really gay, calling them 'metrosexual', and getting them to - well, buy the same clothes and shit under a different pretense. One that makes them think they're still stylin', up-to-date, pimp, whateverthefuck the latest phrase for looking like you know how to dress yourself is, while convincing them they're not gay, they just want to look that way.

Real men don't give a fuck about this. Real men are just that - real men. They go about their day, earn their living, do the best they can, and go home to a wife or significant other, who may or may not have also been doing the same.
Depending on their job, a real man may have worn nice clothes - which may or may or may not have matched, a several hundred dollar or more suit, or maybe ratty old jeans, a T-shirt, and gloves. Whatever. Clothes don't make the man.

One way or the other, a real man don't give a shit if he is metrosexual or retrosexual. On top of that, he doesn't give a shit if other people think he is in one of those categories. In fact, most real men don't even know those categories exist.

A real man however will still open a door for a woman, and offer up his seat on the bus, in line at the resaurant or wherever. And chances are, a real woman will accept the offer. And she will be gracious about it too. If she don't, well she's a bitch. Women's Lib, Equality, whatever you want to call it, a real woman appreciates this.
And any man that lets himself be molded or stomped on that way ain't a real man to start with. There's a difference between caring about someone else and being a sissy. And it seems the sissification factor is way to prevelant these days.

I for one, have always been - for the most part - a gentleman, and will continue to be that way. I will open a door and offer up a seat. I will not read GQ, or try to buy the latest fashions. Fuck that. Nor will I give a shit what you classify me as. If you're that shallow, I don't want your company.

SUCKERS!

BBC NEWS Swords ban to beat violent crime:

A crackdown on the sale of swords has been launched as part of a campaign to tackle knife crime and violence.

Justice Minister Cathy Jamieson announced laws to ban swords unless sold for legitimate reasons.

Shops selling swords will need a licence, as will businesses dealing with non-domestic knives and other bladed weapons such as machetes.
[...]
Yeah, we all know (or at least you should by now) how well banning guns worked for halting violent crimes. What's next, scissors? Letter openers? Hammers? Baseball bats?

One For Cube Dwellers - Like Me

Citgo Boycott? Works For Me

Castro receives Chavez visit :

2 hours, 14 minutes ago

HAVANA (Reuters) - Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro received a visit at his bedside from his main ally Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, the Communist Party newspaper Granma said on Monday, publishing pictures of the two men.
[...]
Remember this the next time you stop at 7-Eleven, and think you should fill your tank with Citgo gasoline.
Just in case you didn't know it, Citgo is a product of Venezuela, wholly owned by the Venezuelan government. The president of Venezuela - Hugo Chavez - is an asshole who, as you can see, covorts with the likes of a communist dictator. Not to mention Ciny Sheehan.

Personally, I think we shouldn't be patronizing 7-Elevens at all, by virtue of them selling that gas in the first place. Franchisees don't have a choice in what gas the corporation tells them to sell, but if we didn't buy it, they wouldn't sell it.

Referrals

Okay, so I check the Site Meter referrals on a regular basis. I like to see who visits my humble little blog, who is hot-linking the pictures, who's searching for what, and so on.
So today, I see a 'blogger' who has visited, and most likely tried to comment but was unable due to the word verification thingy. After reading a snippet from the so-called blog, you'll understand what the hell I'm talking about. Even if you don't understand what the hell they're talking about:
An officer riding beside one of the carts heard the birdcall and began to look in my direction, then edged his mount toward the trees. us army correspondence course program
Preltar nodded as I explainedYoure coming along well, Master LerrisYes, wellI must be frankFrank, of courseThe chest will be superb, Im sure, but I would like something quite differentQuite different, and as soon as you could do it practicallyI would pay a bit of a bonusA bonus, you seeHe gestured with the cap, his bushy white eyebrows and unfocused expression giving the look of an absentminded hawk, were there such a bird. bicycle shop anchorage
It could have been my imagination, but I felt her confusion and conflict as strongly as my own, and I reached out and touched her hand only to discover the feelings were even strongerWe just looked at each other. best peanut butter cookie recipe
She shook her headI have lived almost all my life with such a judgmentSo has Justen.
The autarchs flag continued to fly, and with a bit more concentration, I could see at least several wrecked hulls apparently smashed across the breakwater, and others driven into the sands on the far south end of the bayThey must have been huge ships to be visible from so far, and yet they were strewn across the shores and breakwater as though they had been toys. national weather service melbourne
I got that impression.
It is. laminate counter top pricing
better than the goat those Kyphrans eat.
A blog bot with Tourettes Syndrome. Nice.

Spam Subject of the Day

" cock sexy sucker"
Fuckin' "A"!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Outta Here

Well folks, I'm outta town until Monday.

Have a weekend!

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Re: his fix on retrieval"
Sounds like we're fishing.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Is That Gatorade In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

From USNews.com:
Terror suspects planned to use liquid explosives to blow up planes:

[...]
At least some of the suspects had ties to those involved in the July 7, 2005, coordinated bombings on the London subways, a law enforcement source told U.S. News.
[...]
As bad as some other countries - take Great Britain for example - want to NOT be involved in some war overseas, well - like us, they are. Or - they will be. No, these morons ain't done yet.

Like it or not, or rather whether you like war or not, it's fucking happening. And American soldiers just up and leaving Iraq ain't going to quiet down islamic nutjob 'sploders the world over. But I do believe helping that country keep their own crazies in check is one helluva start.

A Funny

EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender...

  • Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
  • Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
  • A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
  • A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
  • Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
  • A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
  • A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
  • An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
  • A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
  • A Remote Control is Female. Had you fooled! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!






Thanks again delftsman.

Quote Of The Day

Via email:
"All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."

This Day in History - Son of Sam

From historychannel.com:

SON OF SAM ARRESTED
August 10, 1977

[...]
Berkowitz claimed that demons and a black Labrador retriever owned by a neighbor named Sam had ordered him to commit the killings.
[...]
Uhh...The neighbor's dog telling him what to do should have maybe given him a clue?

Spam Subject of the Day

" :), passage grave"
Now that's encouraging.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Darwin Award Candidate

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters)

A Brazilian man died Tuesday when he tried to open what police believe was a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer in a mechanical workshop on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro.
In case you're not familiar with the Darwin Awards:
We salute the improvement of the human genome
by honoring those who remove themselves from it.
Of necessity, this honor is generally bestowed posthumously.

From The 'Duh' Files - Again

Report says sugary drinks pile on pounds :

AP - Wed Aug 9, 7:52 AM ET Sent 338 times

Americans have sipped and slurped their way to fatness by drinking far more soda and other sugary drinks over the last four decades, a new scientific review concludes.
[...]
No shit. More grant money wasted.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! AGAIN!!!

Bedbug infestations on rise across U.S.

AP - Mon Aug 7, 7:29 AM ET
Sent 896 times

ATLANTA - After waking up one night in sheets teeming with tiny bugs, Josh Benton couldn't sleep for months and kept a flashlight and can of Raid with him in bed.


Spain warns of new jellyfish invasion

AP - Tue Aug 8, 7:35 PM ET Sent 451 times

MADRID, Spain - Spanish authorities Tuesday warned of a massive invasion of jellyfish along the country's eastern coast over the coming days and advised bathers on the best ways to treat stings.


Turkey fights Ebola-like fever outbreak

AP - Tue Aug 8, 5:34 PM ET Sent 232 times

LONDON - Turkey is battling the largest recorded outbreak of Crimean-Congo Hemorrhagic Fever, which has killed at least 20 people this year, and experts said Tuesday more cases of the Ebola-like disease are inevitable in coming months.


Philippine volcano quiet, causing worry

AP - 1 hour, 8 minutes ago
Avg. Rating: 4.7

LEGAZPI, Philippines - A volcano in the Philippines spewed ash Wednesday after the amount of gas coming from the crater dropped suddenly, worrying experts that something had blocked the flow of magma and could cause a bigger eruption.


Indian floods worsen, 4.5 mln people homeless

Reuters - 10 minutes ago Avg. Rating: 4.6

AHMEDABAD, India (Reuters) - Swollen rivers swamped thousands of villages and towns across India's south and west on Wednesday, forcing 4.5 million from their homes as rescuers struggled to bring them food and drinking water, officials said.

Global warming I tell you. The end of the world is nigh.

Nice

'Dazed and confused' Vegas lawyer causes mistrial after showing up to court drunk:

After arriving two hours late for trial smelling of tequila, and getting tangled in lie after lie trying to explain his tardiness, a defense attorney caused his client to get a mistrial during a rape trial last week.
[...]
Nice to have this sort of people representing the public.

The dude could be getting a life sentence here, dumbass! And you're tanked up?
What an arrogant asshole.

Pathetic, On So Many Levels

USATODAY.com - Lohan wants to visit U.S. troops in Iraq:

NEW YORK (AP) — Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and entertain American troops there.

'I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long. Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous,' the 20-year-old actress says in an interview in the September issue of Elle magazine, on newsstands Wednesday.

Lohan, whose screen credits include Freaky Friday,Mean Girls and the upcoming Georgia Rule, says she hoped to emulate Marilyn Monroe, who performed shows for about 100,000 troops stationed in Korea in 1954.

'It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be,' Lohan tells the magazine, adding that she would prepare for her trip to Iraq by taking shooting lessons with her security guard.
[...]
[My emphasis]

Okay, typical Hollywood type; out with the fairies.
Can she really be that fucking stupid? Oh, never mind. I answered my own question.

Yeah, taking shooting lessons will totally prepare you for any insurgents you could possible encounter in a war zone. The best we could hope for is her pane getting shot down on the way over. Whilst accompanied by Hillary.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Password"
Uh, yeah.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Waddya Mean? I Like Jewels!

Okay, so I took their idea and expounded on it:



Like This Day Is Any Different

Hundreds expected to come to Masturbate-a-thon :

Reuters - Fri Aug 4, 11:34 AM ET Sent 230 times

LONDON (Reuters) - Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe's first 'Masturbate-a-thon', a leading reproductive healthcare charity said on Friday.
[...]
I'm thinking they've had plenty of practice already.
But anyway, ick.

What A Way To Go

Woman sought in husband's hot oil death:

AP 42 minutes ago

BAY ST. LOUIS, Miss. - A woman accused of dumping hot cooking oil on her sleeping husband has been charged with murder, and the FBI has joined the search for her.
[...]
That woman is just plain twisted.

Spam Subject of the Day

"heart winded"
I don't get it.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Fun With Google Maps

Someone's been "fuck"ing around. Take a look:
  1. Click here to go to google maps UK
  2. Look in the upper left-hand corner of the dark tan field just to the left of the town.
  3. Zoom in a little.

A Funny

A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his Deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out of the car window.

Driving behind the couple was a man along with his 6-year-old Daughter.

The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car’s windshield, stuck for a moment, and then flew off.

Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"

Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age the father replied: "It...it was only a bug."

The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said.... "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"




New Food Pyramid

You're Kidding Me, Right?

Report: Most violent felons have priors:

WASHINGTON - More than half of those convicted of violent felonies in large urban areas between 1990 and 2002 had previous convictions, the U.S. Justice Department reported Sunday.
[...]
I'm shocked. Shocked I say.
By the by, what's the DOJ doing working on Sunday?

SHEEEEE'S BAAAAACK!!!!

Sheehan resumes protest near Bush ranch :

AP - 26 minutes ago

CRAWFORD, Texas - A year after her first war protest in President Bush's adopted hometown attracted thousands and reinvigorated the nation's peace movement, Cindy Sheehan resumed her vigil Sunday.
[...]

I'll just re-use my "Steaming Pile of Shit" award today:


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Cindy Sheehan, you are still a
Steaming Pile Of Shit



So Cindy. How's the diet going?

Spam Subject of the Day

"establishing it though equator"
That's good.

Friday, August 04, 2006

'Nuther Funny


We all love The Family Circus comic strip, no?


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

A Funny



B'yuk!

Fuck The A.C.L.U. - Again.

THose self-serving, self-righteous assholes are at it again.
Activists sued Wednesday to strike down a new city law that makes it illegal to feed homeless people in parks. The law violates free speech, free assembly and other rights, says the federal suit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada.
[...]
Fuck off you dickheads. How about you feed and house them then if you're so worried about it.
Why am I so uncaring about the homeless? Aren't they just displaced people? People who have been given a bad deal? Mentally impaired? Blah blah blah?
"The shelters provide food, beds, counseling services and doctors," he [City attorney Brad Jerbic] said. "What this is doing is, it's pulling them away from services and abandoning them in these parks."
Ah. There's the rub.
We do take care of our homeless. But evidently, they get a better meal elsewhere. Trouble is, after you do-gooders pack up and leave for the day, the homeless are still there.

Not that I think giving them free meals, room and board, doctor visits, ... is doing them any good in the first place.

Good Gawd

Here he goes again:
Heat makes Pat Robertson a global warming "convert"News:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson said on Thursday the wave of scorching temperatures across the United States has converted him into a believer in global warming.
[...]
Last year, Robertson said natural disasters affecting the globe, including hurricanes Katrina and Rita that wrecked the U.S. Gulf Coast, might be signs that the biblical apocalypse was nearing.
[...]
The end of the world is nigh upon us! Run for your lives! Get to church! Fill that collection plate!

Does this idiot still have an semblance of credibility after all the shit he's pulled?
I wonder what Gore has to say.

Disgusting



The August 2006 cover of Babytalk magazine. Readers of a US parenting magazine are crying foul over the publication's latest cover depicting a woman breastfeeding, with some calling the photo offensive and disgusting(AFP/HO)
Uh, yeah. That's just sick.
A mother feeding her baby. Like women have been doing for centuries. Why that...that...I could puke.

That's ten times worse than seeing blood, guts, murder and so on while watching a teevee show like CSI, the many variations of Law And Order, or the fucking evening news.

AAAAHHHH!!!!

This is just so blatently stupid:
Court nixes verdict against beer vendor:
[...]
The family claimed that vendors for Philadelphia-based Aramark Corp. continued to sell beer to Daniel Lanzaro during a 1999 New York Giants game even though he was clearly drunk, and that the concessionaire fostered an atmosphere in which intoxicated patrons were able to still buy alcohol.
[...]
What about the part where the dumb bastard bought his own beers? Then drove drunk?
The vendors weren't holding him down puring beer down his throat. He did it himself.
However, the court said a new jury can consider whether other defendants previously excluded can also be held responsible in the case. Those defendants include the National Football League, two bars where Lanzaro drank after the game and a friend of Lanzaro's who drank with him on the day of the accident.
[...]
Okay, let's just sue anyone and everyone we can think of. That'll fix things.
Won't help the paralyzed girl any, but the parents will be fucking stylin' the rest of their lives.

Greedy fucks.

This Day in History - Lizzie Borden

I posted this last year. What the hell. I'll just cut/paste. I'm lazy that way:

From HistoryChannel.com:
1892 Lizzie Borden took an axe . . .

Andrew and Abby Borden, elderly residents of Fall River, Massachusetts, are found bludgeoned to death in their home. Lying in a pool of blood on the living room couch, Andrew's face had been nearly split in two. Abby was found upstairs with her head smashed to pieces.

The Bordens, who were considerably wealthy, lived with their two unmarried daughters, Emma and Lizzie. Since Lizzie was the only other person besides the housekeeper who was present when the bodies were found, suspicion soon fell upon her.
And the famous jingle was born:
Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her mother forty whacks;
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.

Here's a picture of Lizzie:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Lizzie's Mom. Click for bigger one:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Her dad. Click for bigger one:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Spam Subject of the Day

"Your future, nose stiffener"
Yeah, my nose is a little wobbly.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Quote Of The Day

"This year will go down in history for the first time a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future."

[+/-] Click here to see who made that quote



-Adolf Hitler

Cats

As some of you know, I fucking hate cats.
They - for the most part, are not pets. They are occupants.
Most cats just exist. They wait around for dinner, scratch around in a filthy box, then climb up on your lap when they want you to pet them, after they've walked all over the kitchen counters with their shit filled paws. They don't come near you when YOU want to pet them, just when THEY want to be petted.

Of course, there are cat lovers out there who will disagree, who will point out just how loving and friendly their cats are, how they make great pets, blah blah blah.
Those are the exception, and more power to you. But you can keep your stupid cat.

However, I do like cats when I see them dragging a freshly captured pigeon around, like I did this morning. I despise those creatures more than cats.

A Funny

Via email:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Spam Subject of the Day

"Me Bud Stewart either Kyle"
Sense makes that none.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Quick Question For Nevada Politicians

Actually, this would apply to almost any politician:
Can you tell me what your platform is?
I hear nothing from you but how bad The Other Candidate is, what they've done/been doing wrong, or how they've fucked things up. Yet I have no clue as to why I should vote for you. Only why I shouldn't vote for them.

All replies will be considered.

Quote Of The Day

From Greg:
"Poor Mel, he’s shit the bed and now he’ll have to sleep in it. "
Bwah!

Best Of Luck

US Marine accused in Haditha case to sue Murtha :

Reuters - 1 hour, 47 minutes ago

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A U.S. Marine suspected in the killing of 24 civilians in Haditha, Iraq, will sue Rep. John Murtha for libel after the war critic made public comments about the case and accused the serviceman of murder, attorneys said on Wednesday.
[...]
Bwah! It would serve this pompous ass right!
There is a war going on - for good or for bad, whether you approve or not - and for some asshole back home to be grandstanding like this for votes makes me want to puke.

I hope he succeeds in suing the socks off that asshole.

[cough] Bullshit [cough]

Study: Women like tech toys more than shoes :

USATODAY.com - Tue Aug 1, 11:04 AM ET Sent 273 times

NEW YORK - An Oxygen Network survey finds that more than three out of four women said they'd choose a plasma TV over a diamond solitaire necklace. And a little white iPod narrowly trumped a little black dress. These are among the results of the Girls Gone Wired survey by market researcher TRU for Oxygen.
[...]
Do you expect me to believe that?
Granted, I'm sure some do. But most? Not on your life.

Meet Dumb And Dumber

2 men who sneaked into mine found safe:

MAMMOTH, W.Va. - Two men who sneaked into a closed coal mine to search for scrap metal to sell were rescued after they became lost about 3,000 feet inside the mine, authorities said. Crews found Franklin Johnson, 44, and Glen Edelman, 35, Monday evening, a few hours after family members reported them missing.

They were treated at a hospital and released.

The rescuers traced them by following the fumes from a fire the two had set after their flashlight failed as they hunkered down in the mine, authorities said. An expert said they were lucky they didn't set off an explosion or suffocate themselves.
[...]
The stupidity of some people just amazes me.

First of all, these brainiacs snuck into an abandoned mine. That's stupid enough. Why? First, there's no ventilation. They could have died from Black Damp, which is absence of oxygen. Coal absorbs oxygen as it is exposed and releases carbon dioxide, so that builds up.
Next, there's always roof fall. There has been no stabilization of the roof since the mine was closed in 1993.
Then the dumb asses lit a fire when their flashlight quit. They're lucky there was no buildup of methane, or they would have blown themselves right out of that mine. Not to mention, it was a fire. In a COAL mine. Just so you know, coal burns. Besides the entire mine catching on fire, they were once again, depriving themselves of oxygen.
I don't know how those idiots llived, but someone or something was looking out for them.

Pot - Meet Kettle

ACLU accuses Miss. mayor of profiling:

JACKSON, Miss. - The national
American Civil Liberties Union on Tuesday accused the city's black mayor of civil rights violations including racial profiling in his crusade to stem crime in Mississippi's capital city.
[...]
Now ain't that a twist?

Spam Subject of the Day

The sender is the good part today:
"À±¿øÈ£"
And another from
"¶Wºë²ªº§¹¬üºô­¶Åý§A¤Q¤ÀÄÁ´N·d©"
Hmmm.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Another Batman Movie?

'Batman' Goes for 'Brokeback':

E! Online - Tue Aug 1, 1:01 AM ET Sent 164 times

Warner Bros. confirmed Monday that Heath Ledger will be playing The Joker in The Dark Knight, the next installment of the rejuvenated Batman franchise.
[...]
Heath Ledger. You know, the dude who played one of the butt-fuckers in "Brokebutt Mountain".
So he going to be in the next Batman movie, eh? Okay, you know what that means. Time for "Name That Movie"! Here are a few to get started with:
  • Brokebat Mountain
  • Brokebat Mountin'
  • Batman Comes Again (instead of 'Returns' ya know.)
  • Batfucker
  • Batman Gets Wood
Well, that's all I can think of for now. Maybe more later.

We Can But Hope

Cubans await news on Castro's health:

AP - 1 hour, 20 minutes ago Sent 461 times

HAVANA - Fidel Castro, who has defied the United States for nearly half a century while wielding absolute power over this island 90 miles south of Florida, remained out of sight Tuesday after undergoing intestinal surgery and temporarily turning over power to his brother Raul.
[...]
With any luck, he'll get a massive systemic infection and be dead in a month.
Then we may be able to start buying those nice cigars again!


Update: Bummer.

This Day in History - Misc.

Busy day.

First, we have this:
1774 Joseph Priestley discovers oxygen
Now I could have sworn that every living creature had used oxygen before this, but what do I know?

Next in line, is this:
1914 First World War erupts in Europe
The war to end all wars. Yeah, that worked.

On to automotive:
1941 The Jeep is born
Now that was an invention. Nobel proze worthy. Of course it has mutated into an overpriced piece of shit SUV now, but back in the day, is was a rather versatile vehicle.

And now we have entertainment:
SHANE! COME BACK!
1953 Shane released by Paramount
Meh, it was an okay movie.

But on teevee a few years later, we got this:
1971 Sonny and Cher debuts
They taught the world how to degrade and belittle each other, how to flip the hair over the shoulder in the most casual fashion, and how not to sing and act.

Ahhh, the memories.

Spam Subject of the Day

"enormous clotheshorse"
That's a new name for it.