Our Legal System Hard At Work

Man pleads not guilty in 28th DWI charge

Wed May 30, 4:05 PM ET

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - An Albuquerque man arrested for the 28th time on a drunken driving charge has pleaded not guilty. Joseph Brill, 53, entered his plea Tuesday to charges of aggravated driving while intoxicated, driving on a suspended license and having an open container of alcohol in a vehicle.

Bernalillo County sheriff's deputies arrested Brill in an Albuquerque neighborhood on March 14. Deputies said they saw him park, then fall out of his pickup truck.
[...]

Say what you want about Parisite Hilton and Loosely Lohan, but when you have shit like this going on, what else do you expect?

At least they have a bunch of money they can pay fines with. That money can go to the local government to be used to pay hospital bills for wetbacks. Whereas, and I'm going out on a limb here, this dude probably ain't as well off as those two. he won't be able to pay near as hefty of a fine.



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OH NO! HE KILLED ROSIE

I never liked Rosie O'Donnell. I thought she was a ugly, stupid, arrogant fucking bitch who didn't deserve to be on teevee. But did she deserve to die?

Well, ...



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Pooty Poot Putin

Putin says missile test response to U.S. moves
[...]
"Our American partners have left the ABM (Anti-Ballistic Missile) Treaty. We have warned them then that we will come out with a response to maintain the strategic balance in the world," Putin told a news conference.
[...]

Uh, I must have missed something here. I didn't realize we had left the treaty.

Last i knew, Billy-Ray-Joe-Bob was living in a decommissioned missile silo out in the middle of bum-fuck Oklahoma. What happened? Did we kick him out so we could stack a nuke in his living room?



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Feeling better now"

Aaahh, gee. That's nice.

Now fuck off.




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Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs

"Pick" sent me this and I think it's quite the essay. Please, pass it along:

Subject: Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs

This letter was written by Charles Grennel and his comrades who are veterans of the Global War on Terror. Grennel is an Army Reservist who spent two years in Iraq and was a principal in putting together the first Iraq elections, January of 2005.

It was written to Jill Edwards, a student at the University of Washington who did not want to honor Medal of Honor winner USMC Colonel Greg Boyington. Ms. Edwards and other students (and faculty) do not think those who serve in the U.S. armed services are good role models.

To: Edwards, Jill (student, UW) Subject: Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs

Miss Edwards, I read of your student activity regarding the proposed memorial to Col. Greg Boyington, USMC and a Medal of Honor winner. I suspect you will receive a bellyful of angry e-mails from conservative folks like me.

You may be too young to appreciate fully the sacrifices of generations of servicemen and servicewomen on whose shoulders you and your fellow students stand. I forgive you for the untutored ways of youth and your naiveté.

It may be that you are, simply, a sheep. Theres no dishonor in being a sheep as long as you know and accept what you are.

William J. Bennett, in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997 said: Most of the people in our society are sheep.

They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident. We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

Then there are the wolves and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy. Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

Then there are sheepdogs and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf. If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens?

What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the unchartered path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep.

They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world.

They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kids school.

Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports, in camouflage fatigues, holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, Baa. Until the wolf shows up; then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them.

This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door. Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed, right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day.

After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes. The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference.

You want to be able to make a difference. There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When they learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd and the other passengers confronted the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers, athletes, business people and parents from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. Edmund Burke.

Only the dead have seen the end of war. Plato

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice.

But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision. If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you.

If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love.

But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warriors path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy.

It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between.

Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. It's ok to be a sheep, but do not kick the sheep dog.

Indeed, the sheep dog may just run a little harder, strive to protect a little better and be fully prepared to pay an ultimate price in battle and spirit with the sheep moving from baa to thanks.

We do not call for gifts or freedoms beyond our lot. We just need a small pat on the head, a smile and a thank you to fill the emotional tank which is drained protecting the sheep. And when our number is called by The Almighty, and day retreats into night, a small prayer before the heavens just may be in order to say thanks for letting you continue to be a sheep. And be grateful for the thousands, millions of American sheepdogs who permit you the freedom to express even bad ideas.

How well put. Hope you learned a thing or maybe two there missy.
By the way, who exactly do you think are good role models? Some big NFL star maybe? Nice. They teach us how getting paid big bucks to be on teevee turns you into a drugged-up moron.

How about Paris Hilton? Lindsay Lohan? They're teaching us all how being rich and famous helps you avoid jail.

Sorry. I think maybe you need to think a little more about who you would like to see the young people of today look up to and emulate.


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Hitlary's Theme

So I hear Hitlary has some sort of contest going where folks can vote for a song she can use for her (ugh, I hate to even think it) presidential campaign.

As an aside though, I must get this off my chest. How can anyone in their right mind vote for that fucking bitch. I mean, good gawd. After all the shit she's pulled, and all the shit she allowed her dear ex-president hubby to pull while he was prez, how can anyone think she would be a good leader for this country?
Now some folks say they would never vote for a person based on ... what? Skin color? Religion?
I won't vote for Obama - not because he's black, but because like Hitlary, he's an idiot. Others won't vote for him because he's black.
Some won't vote for Romney because he's mormon. Catholics don't have such a good reputation either. Not many people think much of the baptists that have been president either. So far, he doesn't have my vote because I don't know shit about him. But his religion won't deter me.

Anyway, here are the round one results for the bitch's theme song:

* Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
* Rock This Country! - Shania Twain
* Beautiful Day - U2
* Get Ready - The Temptations
* I'm a Believer - Smash Mouth
Top Write-In Suggestions:
* Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
* Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now - McFadden & Whitehead
* Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
* You and I - Celine Dion
* The Best - Tina Turner

Nice to see so many America-hating canuks' songs there.

Here are a few suggestions I think more fitting:

"Witchy Woman" - Eagles
"The Bitch is Back" - Elton John
"I'm a Loser" - The Beatles
"Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot
"Lies" - Fleetwood Mac
"Fuck You Like An Animal" - Nine Inch Nails
"Liar" - Three Dog Night
"Loser" - Beck
"Stand By Your Man" - Tammy Wynette
"You've Got A Lot Of Nerve" - Bob Dylan
"American Idiot" - Greenday
"Killer Queen" - Queen
"Lonesome Loser" - Little River Band.
"Cold Hard Bitch" - Jet
"It's Cryin Time Again" - Ray Charles
"Your Cheatin Heart" - Hank Williams Sr.
"Down with a Sickness" - Disturbed
"Crazy" - Patsy Cline
"Evil Woman" - ELO
"Lying Eyes" - The Eagles
"Devil Woman" - Cliff Richards
"Super Freak" - Rick James

The list could go on forever I suppose, but those are some of my favorites.

What are your choices?



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About Fucking Time She Shut Her Yap

Sheehan 'resigns' as protest leader

By ANGELA K. BROWN, Associated Press Writer Tue May 29, 11:20 PM ET

FORT WORTH, Texas - Cindy Sheehan, the soldier's mother who galvanized an anti-war movement with her monthlong protest outside President Bush's ranch, said Tuesday she's done being the public face of the movement.

WOO HOO!
Good. We son't have to listen to her bullshit whining any more.

"I've been wondering why I'm killing myself and wondering why the Democrats caved in to George Bush," Sheehan told The Associated Press while driving from her property in Crawford to the airport, where she planned to return to her native California.

Too bad you didn't actually, you know, kill yourself a long time ago.

"I'm going home for awhile to try and be normal," she said.

Yeah. Fat chance. You are no where near 'normal' Stupid bitch.

In what she described as a "resignation letter," Sheehan wrote in her online diary on the Daily Kos blog: "Good-bye America ... you are not the country that I love and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can't make you be that country unless you want it."
[...]

See, the part that confuses me here, is the resignation letter. She resigned from some sort of self-created, self-appointed foray into disparaging the government, and committing herself to all sorts of coercion with Bush and America haters.
She was just some over zealous big mouth who went around the world talking shit. How can you "resign" from being shit spewing a dumb-ass?




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"1ets h00k up t0n1ght 1m easy"

Yeah, I could use a good dose of clap. Be right there.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"excellence suppositorys all over the world"

Oh, yeah. Better get me some o' them. Can never have too many.




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Another Worthless Study

Study finds dolphins speaking "Welsh" dialect

Reuters - Thu May 24, 12:57 PM ET

BANGOR (Reuters) - Dolphins living off the coast of Wales whistle, bark and groan in a different dialect from dolphins off the western coast of Ireland, scientists have discovered.
[...]

Good gawd. You people and your damn fish. Get a fucking life and quit wasting grant money on stupid shit. Try something useful for a change.



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Chew On This

Salad dressing semen spawns trouble

AP - Thu May 24, 10:59 PM ET

WHEATON, Ill. - A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria.
[...]

So the kid takes a bottle of salad dressing into the shitter and jerks off into it.

Sorta makes you wonder how many times you've had the 'House Ranch' dressing at the local steak house and gotten a taste of some disgruntled cook's jiz, dunnit?




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Are you smarter than a fifth grader"

By smart, uh, do you mean can I do my sums proper?

Uh, sometimes.




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Last One Of The Day

Before I sign off...



B'yuk.




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Yuck

I accidentally stumbled upon a Bush hating, lefty, libtard blog. I feel so...so dirty. Like I just stepped in a big pile of fresh dog shit.

Good gawd. I would rather have stumbled upon a "Kooking With Kerosene" or "How To Knit A Sweater In One Day Using Nothing But Your Own Pubes" site.





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You May Be Interested...

... to know that according to Google Analytics, of all the visits to this humble little speed bump on the information highway, none - not a single one - came from Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, West Virginia, Connecticut, Vermont or Delaware.

Poor bastards have no clue as to what they're missing out on.




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Works For Me

Ban kept for gay men donating blood

AP - Wed May 23, 6:05 PM ET Sent 506 times

WASHINGTON - Gay men remain banned for life from donating blood, the government said Wednesday, leaving in place — for now — a 1983 prohibition meant to prevent the spread of HIV through transfusions.
[...]

Mark and I have a banter going on about donating blood. But, whatever. Don't matter.

I have been a regular donor for roughly, 15 years now and have donated - oh, I dunno. It seems like 100 gallons or so. They always ask if I have ever had sex "even once" with another male since 1977. Even though it has only been two months since the last visit, they don't ask "since your last visit." Note that I am always proud to announce, "NO!".

Were it the other way around, were I getting blood instead of giving, I would be quite hesitant about getting blood from a butt-fucker. I mean, besides not being a normal practice, it just seems - well - disgusting.




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AND YOU DAMN KIDS STAY THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!

I mean it! I really mean it this time, you little bastards!

Lawn-loving man gets life for murder

AP - Wed May 23, 11:45 PM ET

BATAVIA, Ohio - A man who fatally shot a teenage neighbor because he walked on the man's carefully tended lawn was sentenced Wednesday to life in prison.
[...]

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Spam Subject Of The Day

"What is your opinion"

Oh, my. Where to start.

Just keep reading.




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Speaking Of Morons

Free computer virus finds willing victims

Reuters - 1 hour, 52 minutes ago

HELSINKI (Reuters) - Computer specialist Didier Stevens put up a simple text advertisement on the Internet offering downloads of a computer virus for people who did not have any.
[...]

Okay, here's the deal. If you went ahead and took advantage of this free offering, put the computer back in the box and return it to the store. You're obviously too stupid to own one.




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[cough]Bullshit![cough]

Finger Length Predicts SAT Performance

LiveScience.com - Wed May 23, 1:25 AM ET

A quick look at the lengths of children's index and ring fingers can be used to predict how well students will perform on SATs, new research claims. Kids with longer ring fingers compared to index fingers are likely to have higher math scores than literacy or verbal scores on the college entrance exam, while children with the reverse finger-length ratio are likely to have higher reading and writing, or verbal, scores versus math scores. ...

Here we go with another useless study.

Fucking morons. Look. The only advantage finger length has for high school students is pleasuring Sally in the back seat of the Accord.

Making a difference on how well you take tests? Coincidence - maybe. Science fact - not so much.




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Oopsy Daisy

BWAH!

Golfer dies after cart plunges off cliff
AP - Tue May 22, 6:31 PM ET

FALLBROOK, Calif. - A golfer died Tuesday after his golf cart plunged 75 feet off a cliff and crashed onto a road below, authorities said.
[...]

Let me guess. Alcohol was involved.

Dumbass. See, that's what happens when you look up.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"National City: please confirm your information!"

I don't know how many more times I need to verify my information. You already have my username, password, SSN,... What more do you need?



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I May Be Out Of Line Here, But...

Sometimes people have to take it upon themselves to start making the world a better place:







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Eye Bleach Anyone?

All I can say is, open at your own risk.
It is not very safe for work.

BWAH-HAH-HAH!!!!
[+/-] show/hide the disgusting picture





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And Then There Are The Whales

Calif's wayward whales balk at bridge

AP - 1 hour, 58 minutes ago

RIO VISTA, Calif. - Two wayward whales made it 20 miles back toward the ocean before balking at a Sacramento River bridge and swimming in circles, apparently upset by vibrations from the traffic.
[...]

So stick a spear in them and drag them back to the ocean if you're that worried about it. Get over yourselves.

Big deal, a couple big fish swim upriver a bit and you retards go all ape-shit National Geographic.

Move along. Nothing to see here.




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Good Gawd

Gay flamingos pick up chick

AFP - Mon May 21, 12:03 PM ET Sent 875 times

LONDON (AFP) - A pair of gay flamingos have adopted an abandoned chick, becoming parents after being together for six years, a British conservation organisation said Monday.
[...]

Oh yes. I'm sure they're fucking gay.

As if bird-brained bird have a fucking clue as to what faggotry is or is not. They're birds for chrissakes. They don't think. They have instincts: Eat, sleep and shit. When it comes time to lay an egg or fertilize one, they get right on it. Apart from that, they have no emotion or logic.

Fucking moron birdwatchers. Get a life.





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Yes, You're Right

I'm a slacker. Too many things going on and not enough time in the day. Hardly even enough time to look for the best internet porn any more.

I've been busier than a one-legged riverdancer at work, and when it comes time to hit the road and head for the Ponderosa, I'm brain dead.
Walking in the door, I spy the recliner, it calls my name in that sensual voice it has, and that's it for me. I eventually get off my ass and make some dinner, but for the most part, evenings are spent not in front of the computer. So I don't get any posting in.

All of my loyal readers (bwah!) I'm sure are disappointed, and I apologize profusely, and I'll get back on the more regular posting horse eventually.

So in the meantime, here's a phunny:






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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Or schelling on renewal"

But what if I don't renew? No schelling?




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Quote Of The Day

Saw this on a bumper sticker over the weekend:

"Will hunt for food"

I like it.





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Spam Subject Of The Day

"ATTENTION: To greatly"

Ah, yeah G.I. Me love you long time.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"He mattawana yourself mishicot"

Well, now that that's settled...




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"add 3 inche to your penis guaranteed 18"

Jeebus. 18?
I could put an eye out.





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Spam Subject Of The Day

"You have been selected for a all expense Trip to see Oprah Live"
[sic]

Oh yes. I'm fucking giddy over that one.

But I won't go unless I'm allowed to carry.




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RIP Reverend Falwell

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A Funny

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This Is A Hoot!

Baby vs. Cobra:



Or use this one...





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Score One For The Good Guys

Gay rights ads spark Lithuania bus driver anger

Reuters - 1 hour, 2 minutes ago

VILNIUS (Reuters) - Trolley-bus drivers in a Lithuanian town refused to drive their vehicles while they were carrying advertisements promoting tolerance toward gay men and women, a company official said Monday.
[...]

I'm with you there, drivers. There is absolutely no need to be advertising tolerance toward faggotry.

And before you get all bent out of shape and tell me I'm a stuffy old Curmudgeon, and that I should be more tolerant about how people live their lives, fuck that.

That homos getting it on is wrong isn't the point I'm trying to make. That anyone is promoting sexuality at all is wrong. It ain't nobody's business but their own who they roll around in the sack with. That's all.





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Do Ya Think She Just May Be Nuts?

Alaska mom guilty of killing 3 sons

By JEANNETTE J. LEE, Associated Press Writer Mon May 14, 11:57 PM ET

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A judge on Monday found a woman guilty but mentally ill in the shooting deaths of her three teenage sons, whom she feared had become evil clones or robots.
[...]

HELP! THE PARANOIDS ARE AFTER ME!

Uh, yeah. They've turned into robots. That's a hoot!
Go have another sip of firewater there, lassie.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"No napier whichever aibonito"

But I want the napier. Especially if it's aibonito!





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Quote Of The Day

From some random blog:

How's My Blogging?
Call 1-888-STFU-LOL

Dunno, just sorta tickled my funny bone.




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Free Blowjob!

All you have to do is ask!

'Course, you may have to reside in Belgium...




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"caracas abalone"

No thanks. I have plenty already.




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Stuff You Just Can't Make Up

Ripped from the headlines:

• Panty-clad man tries robbery with lighter AP - Thu May 10, 10:58 PM ET

  INWOOD, W.Va. - A thief covered his face with a pair of blue women's underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said. "I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried," State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.

• Armless, one-legged driver leads chase AP - Thu May 10, 6:19 PM ET

  NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. - Authorities were led on a high speed vehicle chase by an armless, one-legged man, and they said this wasn't the first time the 40-year-old eluded police.

• German man found after 7 years dead in bed Reuters - 1 hour, 25 minutes ago

  BERLIN (Reuters) - The decomposed corpse of a German man was found alone in his bed after nearly seven years, police in the western city of Essen said Thursday.

• Executed man gets last meal wish after he dies Reuters - Thu May 10, 2:26 PM ET

  NASHVILLE, Tennessee (Reuters) - A convicted murderer put to death in Tennessee this week got his last meal wish after he died.

I just don't have anything to add to these. The stories write themselves.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"it conyngham an denbo"

Wow! Really?




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...And It's Getting Hotter

Fuck daylight savings time.
What the hell were those boneheads in congress thinking when they made daylight savings time come three weeks earlier this year?

Evidently, it wasn't about how an extra hour of sunlight would have a warming effect on our climate. The current state of 'Global Warming'™ is bad enough without the extra hour of daylight making it even worse.





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Michael Moore-on News

Michael Moore faces U.S. Treasury probe

AP - Thu May 10, 6:26 AM ET Sent 567 times

LOS ANGELES - Academy Award-winning filmmaker Michael Moore is under investigation by the U.S. Treasury Department for taking ailing Sept. 11 rescue workers to Cuba for a segment in his upcoming health-care documentary "Sicko," The Associated Press has learned.
[...]

WOOHOO! I hope they send that worthless fuck up the river. Let Bubba have a little personal time with him.

Not that there is anyone in prison hard up enough to want to...




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Re: No Marriages"

Smartest spam I've seen yet.





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Uncle Sam Approves Blogs?

Army clarifies blogging policy

The Army is backing off its regulation restricting the ability of servicemen and -women, their families and contractors to blog.
[...]

Not sure if this regulation applies to other branches of the military, but I'm thinking there are some "foreign correspondents" who may be interested.




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Okay, It's Your Turn Now

So you fucked up democrats were bitching up a storm last year around this time. As I recall, there was a ton of squawking at Bush and his oil prices - which were pushing $3 per gallon.

Well, y'all were bragging about all the changes needed and how you were going to make them, then you dun won the elections and took the majority. But yet, gas prices are waaaaaaaayyyyyy higher than last year so far and are still going up. And if the trend holds, they are going to go up even more when school gets out and people start vacationing for the summer.

So I have a question: What the fuck?



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"B.Y.O.B."

What the fuck? You asshole. The least you could do is buy me a drink.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"I don't eat them, but I think one should stand up for themselve"

Well, you have a point there.




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40 Reasons to Ban Guns

1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, Detroit & Chicago cops need guns.

2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict gun control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.

3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into effect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates,which have been declining since 1991.

5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense - give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a computer programmer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created 130 years later, in 1917.

13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land, using federally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a "state" militia.

14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right of the people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people," and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people" all refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.

15. "The Constitution is strong and will never change." But we should ban and seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments to that Constitution.

16. Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense! Of course, the army has hundreds of thousands of them.

17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they aren't "military weapons'', but private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles'', because they are military weapons.

18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which is responsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940's, 1950's and 1960's,anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores, gas stations,variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no background check, no fingerprints, no government forms and there were no school shootings.

19. The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.

20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."

23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.

25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population supported owning slaves.

26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a "weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

27. Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

28. The right of Internet pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.

30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.

31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheap lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.

33. We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain.

35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self- protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection.

36. Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with cops, need a gun.

37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people. The police need assault weapons. You do not.

38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.

39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their duty weapon.

40. Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to "keep guns out of the wrong hands." Guess what? You have the wrong hands.

From here.

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That Had To Hurt

In more ways than one:

Naked man superglued to exercise bike
Reuters - 2 hours, 1 minute ago

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - A gang stripped a South African man before supergluing him to an exercise bicycle while they ransacked his house, according to a report Thursday.
[...]

Bwah! They went and took all his shit, while all the hell he could do is sit there - glued to his seat - and watch.

All the more reason to own a gun and not own an exercise bike.




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Shit. Another Missed Opportunity

Kids tuned to 'Handy Manny' get porn

AP - Wed May 2, 4:52 PM ET Sent 341 times

MIDDLETOWN, N.J. - Children here got more than they bargained for when they tuned in to "Handy Manny" on the Disney Channel this week — hard-core pornography.
[...]

Why is it they never fuck up and do that on the channel I'm watching?




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Now We're Talkin'

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Spam Subject Of The Day

"I or opposite"

Be or be to not. Question that is.





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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Sorry for taking so long"

Well, it's about fucking time. Gee whiz!




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Cheap Labor

I got this one in an email:

From a California school teacher - - -"As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal immigration, there are some things that you should be aware of:

I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large southern California high school which is designated a Title 1 school, meaning that its students average lower social economic and income levels.

Most of the schools you are hearing about, South Gate High, Bell Gardens , Huntington Park , etc., where these students are protesting, are also Title 1 schools.

Title 1 schools are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say free breakfast, I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll -- but a full breakfast and cereal bar with fruits and juices that would make a Marriott proud. The waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being dumped in the trash uneaten. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I estimate that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least moderately overweight. About 75% or more DO have cell phones. The school also Provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as young as 13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to arrange for babysitters or having family watch their kids. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for the upcoming year even though there was little need for anything; my budget was already substantial. I ended up buying new computers for the computer learning center, half of which, one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the appreciative students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free education in America . (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers whose classes consist of many illegal immigrant students here in the country less then 3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling them "Putas" whores and throwing things that the teachers were in tears.(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Free medical, free education, free food, day care etc., etc., etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements?(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., etc, etc.(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)
For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes.

We need to wake up. The guest worker program will be a disaster because we won't have the guts to enforce it.
Does anyone in their right mind really think they will voluntarily leave and return?

There are many hardworking Hispanic/American citizens that contribute to our country and many that I consider my true friends. We should encourage and accept those Hispanics who have done it the right and legal way.

It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture that does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and dropping out of school by 15 and that refuses to assimilate, and an American culture that has become so weak and worried about "politically correct" that we don't have the will to do anything about it.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

If this makes your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you know.
CHEAP LABOR? Isn't that what the whole immigration issue is about?

Business doesn't want to pay a decent wage

Consumers don't want expensive produce

Government will tell you Americans don't want the jobs

But the bottom line is cheap labor. The phrase "cheap labor" is a myth, a farce, and a lie. there is no such thing as "cheap labor."

Take, for example, an illegal alien with a wife and five children. He takes a job for $5.00 or
$6.00/hour. At that wage, with six dependents, he pays no income tax, yet at the end of the year, if he files an Income Tax Return, he gets an "earned income credit" of up to $3,200 free.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He qualifies for Section 8 housing and subsidized rent (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He qualifies for food stamps (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He qualifies for free (no deductible, no co-pay) health care (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)
His children get free breakfasts and lunches at school (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He requires bilingual teachers and books (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He qualifies for relief from high energy bills (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

If they are or become, aged, blind or disabled, they qualify for SSI. Once qualified for SSI they can qualify for Medicare. All of this is at taxpayer's expense (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He doesn't worry about car insurance, life insurance, or homeowners insurance.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Taxpayers provide Spanish language signs, bulletins and printed material.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

He and his family receive the equivalent of $20.00 to $30.00/hour in benefits.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Working Americans are lucky to have $5.00 or $6.00/hour left after paying their bills and his. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

The American taxpayer's also pay for increased crime, graffiti and trash clean-up.
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Cheap labor? YEAH RIGHT!??

Yeah, you fucking wetbacks illegal immigrants go march all you want about how unfair you're being treated.

See, what most people don't realize - and what this letter points out - is thatyes, we may pay a bit less in the grocery store for a tomato or a head of lettuce, but we're damn sure going to make up the difference in taxes for indigent care at the hospital or for public schools.

Oh yes, we pay much more than we would pay for higher priced workers who would put back into the system rather than milk it. And if you don't believe that, then you are living with blinders on.



Thanks sk :)

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Quote Of The Day

"It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for a proper trigger squeeze."

BWAH!





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MAY DAY! ... MAY DAY!

Uh, yeah. The first of May.





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Spam Subject Of The Day

"A iona to anadarko"

Yeah, I don't think so.





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