What Happens Here Stays Here

If you google "infectious diseases", and the name of a town, you should get a result from the ever helpful AOL akin to this:


BWAH!!!

In case you were wondering, the Amargosa Valley is located in a county where prostitution is legal, and is home to several whore houses.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"< CI@L|6] IS A REA\ "

That's just a bit too convoluted.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They Say It's Your Birthday

That's right. Today I am a year older.

Happy friggin' b-day to ME!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Was This A Peek Into The Future?

I always like to watch Red Skelton's show. He was a hoot. But I don't recall seeing this little skit.

Anyway, we need more politicians to think this way:

Red Skelton's "Pledge of Allegiance" was first introduced on the Red Skelton Show on January 14, 1969. It has since been twice read into the congressional record of The United States and has received numerous awards.

Watch the whole. The last couple sentences hit you right between the eyes.




Here's the link if it doesn't show up proper.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Thank for your time"

Yeah, fuck off.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BWAH! [snort]

For some ungawdly reason, Deb gave me a schmoozer award.
If "schmooze" means to bitch about every little thing that comes your way, or maybe to talk about useless shit and make inane comments, then hey! I guess I am definitely a schmoozer!

Another definition is "chatting idly". Well now, chatting idly is what I do best around here, so maybe she has me pegged.


Well anyway, the idea of this thing is to spread the award like so much syphilis,and choose 5 other blogs which I consider to have the power of the schmooze.

So let's see now. The first that comes to mind would be Jean. She likes to put you in a different dimension every now and then, and then before you know it, like the crisp snap of a wishbone, you're right back to reality.

Next on the list is Greg. Although he'll probably tell me to go fistfuck myself, I enjoy the hell out of his very entertaining writing, and I have a hunch that there ain't many more people who would more of a hoot to prop up an elbow and shoot some shit with.


Third on the list is The Princess. Woman cracks me the hell up sometimes. Another one who I think would be a hoot to bend an elbow with.

Another one who will probably tell me to take this award and poke it up the cornhole sideways, but yet never ceases to give me a good chuckle, Squid. If you can get past that gawd-awful wallpaper, you will be entertained with the posts. Sorry Squid, that shit gives me a headache.

And last but definitely not least, Pooke. Her and her hubby both post on their blog, but she seems to do more than he. Sometimes there is a dry spell over there, but when they get back into the groove, it is worth a read.
And how can I not tag someone else who also has me pegged so well?:

"...[Curmudgeon] I believe may have been me had I been graced with a dick, a shotgun, and Jack Daniels in my Snoopy Thermos."

BWAH!!! That still cracks me the hell up!

Okay folks, there you go. Sorry if you're agin' passing these along. No biggy. Do what you will.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Alert: Your 1oan Approval."

Nice. And I didn't even apply! WOOHOO!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woops

Girl seeking counseling gets sex line


AP - Wed Jul 25, 7:47 PM ET

LAKE CITY, Fla. - The state attorney general's office removed the toll-free number for a sexual assault counseling center from its Web site after an 8-year-old girl was connected instead to a sex chat line.
[...]

Talk about scarred for life.

Oh well. Her parents - or parent (the one that don't go to jail) will be set from the the law suit that I'm sure will follow.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh Really?

HMO faces $3M fine for lax oversight

AP - 41 minutes ago Avg. Rating: 4.6

OAKLAND, Calif. - Health care provider Kaiser Permanente faces a $3 million fine for what state regulators say were haphazard investigations into patient complaints and physician performance. It was the second rebuke in a year for the nation's largest HMO.
[...]

Gee. That's a surprise. As crooked as HMO's are.

I know, you gotta have insurance. That's a given. And most people don't have money to go out and buy any sort of private insurance, so they use an HMO. Which usually sucks. Might as well have socialized medicine in place. Surely the government knows how to run a medical business better than an HMO. [snicker]

BWAH!!!! I crack myself up!


Updated: I stumbled upon this little funny here:

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oddness

Nursing home cat can sense death

Reuters - 33 minutes ago Avg. Rating: 4.6

CHICAGO (Reuters) - When Oscar the Cat visits residents of the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island, the staff jumps into action -- Oscar can sense within hours when someone is about to die.
[...]

Okay, that's nice and all, but what if you're one of the nurses sitting there doing your paperwork and kitty decides to curl up next to your feet on the floor.

I dunno about you, but I would be fucking freaking.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BAN SPORTS!

Girl, 12, dies after softball accident

Thu Jul 26, 6:07 AM ET

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A 12-year-old softball player was knocked unconscious when a ball hit her in the head during practice, and she died a day later, police and family said.
[...]

Unless maybe it's competitive knitting. We shouldn't be putting kids in harm's way like that.

What's the world coming to anyway?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"caulk and cogent a beefsteak see checkerberry not ..."

Yeah. I know exactly what you mean!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uh, What?

Accidental condom inhalation.

Arya CL, Gupta R, Arora VK.

Jaswant Rai Speciality Hospital, Meerut, India.

A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceeding four months, her symptoms did not improve. A subsequent chest radiograph showed non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe. Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy forceps confirmed the presence of a condom. Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.

I...I just don't know what to say, that hasn't already been said.

She was sucking cock and inhaled a rubber. SIX MONTHS AGO!!!





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"still upset"

Bummer.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking Of Mileage

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Beer Institute found that the average American drinks 22 gallons of beer a year.

This means, on average, Americans get approximately 41 miles per gallon.
Not bad!!!

I probably get worse mileage than that. I doubt I walk 900 miles a year. And I probably consume more than 22 gallons of beer.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll Have A Double Whopper With Cheese

Court says Hindu sacred bull Shambo must die

Mon Jul 23, 3:02 PM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Shambo, a sacred bull kept by a group of Hindus in Wales who has tested positive for bovine tuberculosis, can be slaughtered, a London court ruled on Monday, overturning last week's block on his death sentence.
[...]

Sorry, but cows are among the stupidest fucking animals on the planet. And anyone that holds them as scared, is a fucking moron.

Kill the beast and gimme an order of tater tots with that Whopper.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tax Dollars At Work

USDA sent $1.1B to deceased farmers

AP - Mon Jul 23, 7:04 PM ET Avg. Rating: 4.6

WASHINGTON - The Agriculture Department sent $1.1 billion in farm payments to more than 170,000 dead people over a seven-year period, congressional investigators say.
[...]

Doesn't that just give you the warm-fuzzies?

It's bad enough the government pays subsidies to farmers to not grow some crops. But to keep paying them after they're dead too?

Sweet.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"native american"

Why, yes I am.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Post In Which I Strive To Be Culturally, Etnically, Religiously And Politically Correct

*













uh,














"Your background is too white there, Cracker bitch."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Everything ok to us all"

Fucking awesome.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Works For Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's This Shit?

Blogging on a saturday? Yup. And I also went to work.

See, I took monday off to stay and work an extra day on my little slice o' heaven, and it's either burn a vacation day or make up the time. I treasure my vacation days. They only come around once a year. Once they're gone, they're gone. And if I don't use them in the space of a year (not a problem) I lose them. We can no longer roll them over to the next year.

But no biggie. It's too fucking hot outside to get anything accomplished out there, so I would probably just be indoors watching the British Open or watching a movie anyway.

So I'll just sit here and do some work shit, listen to the tunes on the XM, catch up on the Fark headlines, and maybe pop in on a blog or two...




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BWAH!

Pupils browse porn on donated laptops

Reuters - Fri Jul 20, 10:31 AM ET

ABUJA (Reuters) - Nigerian schoolchildren who received laptops from a U.S. aid organization have used them to explore pornographic sites on the Internet, the official News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reported Thursday.
[...]

Uh, no shit? No surprises there.

Gotta learn 'em proper, right from the start. Get that technology into the hands of the little bastards so it can open their eyes to the world. Of smut.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"{Name} did you know"

Fucked that one up didn't you.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Funny

Stephen Wright is my hero. I've always like his sort of twisted humor.
A while back, someone sent me a few of his quotes. Read, chuckle, scoff, enjoy, whatever you wish.

THE MYSTERIOUS MIND OF STEPHEN WRIGHT:

• I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
• 
  
• I had amnesia once -- maybe twice.
• 
  
• I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
• 
  
• Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
• 
  
• All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
• 
  
• I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
• 
  
• If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
• 
  
• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• 
  
• They told me I was gullible.... and I believed them..
• 
  
• Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
• 
  
• Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
• 
  
• Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
• 
  
• What if there were no hypothetical questions?
• 
  
• One nice thing about egotists... they don't talk about other people.
• 
  
• When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look a nail.
• 
  
• A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
• 
  
• What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
• 
  
• My weight is perfect for my height.... which varies.
• 
  
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
• 
  
• The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
• 
  
• How can there be self-help "groups"?
• 
  
• Is there another word for synonym?
• 
  
• The speed of time is one second per second.
• 
  
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• 
  
• What's another word for thesaurus?
• 
  
• Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
• 
  
• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
• 
  
• Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
• 
  
• It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
• 
  
• Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Oh, and here's a cartoon:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From The "This Will Most Likely Be My One And Only Harry Potter Post " Files

Uh, I'm sofa king sick of hearing about this shit.


Fuck off. And good riddance.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From The DUH Files - Again

TSA to lift ban on flying with cigarette lighters

Authorities found that banning most devices did little to make flying safer



Updated: 2 hours, 59 minutes ago

NEW YORK - Airline passengers will be able to bring many types of cigarette lighters on board again starting next month after authorities found that a ban on the devices did little to make flying safer, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) said Friday.

The agency also announced that it was changing its policy on breast milk, and will allow mothers with or without children to carry more than three ounces onto planes.

Uh, no shit. Have you ever tried to light breat milk with a lighter? It's a pain in the ass.

Starting Aug. 4, air travelers will be allowed to carry disposable butane lighters, such as Bics, and refillable lighters, including Zippos, the TSA said. A prohibition will continue on torch-style lighters, which have hotter flames.
The agency said it costs close to $4 million to dispose of the more than 22,000 lighters it seizes every day.
[...]

Aha! There's the real crux of the situation. It isn't really because they're afraid someone is going to light the plane on fire, it costs them too much money to dispose of the lighters!

Again I say, if a well trained psycho really wanted to cause trouble on a plane, it wouldn't take any sort of weapon. There are any number of holds, blows, kicks and so on that can be used in place of say, a nail file or eyeglass repair screwdriver, to kill someone.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Is News?

Quake jolts San Francisco Bay area

AP - 41 minutes ago

SAN FRANCISCO - An earthquake jolted San Francisco Bay area residents awake early Friday, breaking glass and rattling nerves, although there were no immediate reports of injuries.[...]

I thought news would be the day they didn't have a quake in big CA.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Revlon lotion sample"

Eh, no thanks. I have plenty.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deadly

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another Fart In The Wind

Republicans block vote on troop pullout

[...]
Critics called the nearly 24-hour Senate debate, which had featured cots, pillows and take-out pizza, a theatrical stunt by Democrats who have been hammered for their inability to keep a 2006 campaign vow to end the increasingly unpopular war.
[...]

Theatrical stunt indeed.

Fucking Harry Reid and his dumb-ass Dems. I wonder how much that little display cost the taxpayers?
Let's put on a show, act like we're really trying to accomplish something, but make sure we have all the comforts of home.

"You had a Senate that brought in the cots yesterday, which is a pretty good metaphor for a Senate that's been asleep for the last seven months," [Tony] Snow said.

Bwah! Ain't that the truth. Too bad they don't expend as much energy on other issues. Like maybe kicking future constituents illegal aliens out of the country.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHARK!!!!!

Not really. Seems there's something else in the water:

Texas man battles flesh-eating bacteria

Wed Jul 18, 5:19 PM ET

HOUSTON - A Nacogdoches man was in critical but stable condition after three surgeries aimed at saving him from a flesh-eating bacteria that infected him during a swim off the coast of Galveston County.
[...]

Damn global warming. We're all gonna die.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cock. I Suck Cock. I Want Cock. Gimme Some Cock

No, not me you sicko. A couple fags making movies. Keep reading...

Some headlines just say it all:

Gay porn actors charged with killing executive in scheme to work with star

CourtTV - Tue Jul 17, 5:36 PM ET

Two gay porn actors are facing murder charges for allegedly killing a porn executive in a dispute over a coveted actor.
[...]

So what did these two Nancy-boys do? Overdo it with the blow dryer? Suck him too far into a coma?

Good gawd. And people actually watch that shit.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Get laid with real singles"

You mean like, Kraft singles? The little slices of pasteurized process fake cheese?

Nah. I prefer Crisco.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"waxy vacuum"

Well now. That sounds sorta disgusting.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why I Blog

Every now and then, whilst perusing blogs, I stumble across a post written wherein the author poses that question: Why do I blog? Or after a rather lengthy self analysis or explanation, simply says "I blog because ________________".

So feeling the need to expose myself, or at least express myself more freely, I thought I would go ahead and write the obligatory "Why I Blog" post. So here you have it:

Fuck if I know.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Re:"

Now that's news I can use.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Funny

BWAH!:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good News!

Report finds fewer high school teens having sex

More are using condoms; teen births are at record low; graduation up

By JENNIFER C. KERR
Associated Press

WASHINGTON — Fewer high school students are having sex these days, and more are using condoms. The teen birth rate has hit a record low.
[...]

Yeah, probably because their teachers keep getting busted.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raincoats

I could be wrong, but I don't think this is how rubbers are supposed to be worn:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"would you like to be paying less each month"

I would prefer less spam each month.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From The DUH Files - Again

I'll give you a minute to let this soak in:

Study: Women Are in Charge at Home

Jeanna Bryner
LiveScience Staff Writer
LiveScience.com Wed Jul 11, 12:30 PM ET

Men might throw their weight around at the office, but at home, women are the bosses.
[...]

.

.

.

.

.

.
BWAAAAAAHHHHHHH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH !!!!!!
.

.

.

.

Woops. Sorry.
A little more time....
.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay, you ready?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

That's enough.

BWAAAAAHHHHHH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH !!!!!!
[cough][cough] bullshit [cough][cough]

.

.

.

.

Sorry. Couldn't help myself. That is a fucking hoot! Obviously another useless study.

But before you ladies get all worked up and bent out of shape, I happen to agree. And here's why:

Guys like pussy. They'll lie, cheat, steal, go to war, kiss ass and even consult with or AGREE WITH THEIR WIVES to 1) stay out of trouble/avoid an argument, or 2) get laid. Simple as that.

The days of the Fred Flintstone ("WIIILLLMA! WHAT'S FOR DINNER!?!?!") or Archie Bunker ("EDITH! GET ME A BEER!!!") mentality are pretty much a thing of the past. However, men who actually think for themselves are still around.

Sure, there are definitely some pussies out there, but any significant marriage, or even a serious relationship, is a 'partnership'. But you bow down to your spouse, that's your shortcoming. Pussy.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"The safety and integrity of the ship was in no way compromised by this incident."

"Scotty! I need more power!"

"Ciptin! I cannuh give ya no more! She's brddddeakin' up!"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Results Are In

There was a contest for "The Greatest Ass" recently. Take a look at the winners!:


Miss Minnesota:



Miss California:



Ms. New York:



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BWAH!

Bird on fire blamed for 2 acre wildfire

AP - Tue Jul 10, 4:46 PM ET

ASPEN, Colo. - A bird that caught fire after being electrocuted at a substation is suspected of igniting a 2 acre wildfire Monday, officials said. Fire personnel weren't able to identify whether the bird was raven or a crow that flew into exposed elements hanging from a high crossbeam on poles.
[...]

Oh, the visualizations...

An old acquaintance of mine once told me a story of how when he was younger, they would catch pigeons and tie a gas soaked rag around their feet and light it on fire. The birds, of course, would be scared shitless and would take off flying with the fire "chasing" them, only to keep trying to outfly it, which of course would fan the flames.

Amazing how no buildings were ever harmed during this experiment.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From The DUH Files - Again

No fucking shit:

Women drawn to men with muscles

Reuters - Tue Jul 10, 8:46 AM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Muscular young men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-chiseled peers, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles said on Monday.
[...]

Yes, and smoking causes cancer, diet and excersise help you lose weight, and the sky is blue.

Another worthless fucking study. Can't these idiots come up with anything better to spend their time and our money on than researching obvious shit? Good gawd.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"obsequious line dancer"

Nope. Not one of them.

Fucking hillbilly music sucks.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pot - Meet Kettle

BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!!

So I saw a cartoon yesterday that just cracked me the fuck up:


Yes, the fat bastard is at it again with one of his bogus 'documentaries', this time as I understand, on the 'ills' (BWAH! pun!) of the American health care system.
Yes, he is the poster child for healthy living fer sher.

Well, you really wanna fix the health care system? Get rid of lawyers.

I know, I've said it before. And I don't mean all lawyers. Not all lawyers are greedy bastards like ambulance chasers are. Sometimes the services of a good lawyer are required. Sometimes just like a good mechanic, you need someone who knows their shit. But ambulance chasers? That's a whole 'nuther critter. Like flies on shit they are. All over the place. It seems like most of the commercials on teevee are cars, pills and lawyers.
Everyone is sue happy these days. The system has been abused too long, and it's jumping up and biting everyone on the ass.

Find a worm in your candy bar? Sue the manufacturer. That's okay. If you can afford candy bars in the first place, you can afford to pay more for them.

Drive yourself home drunk and kill someone? Sue the bartender for pouring booze down your throat, and the auto manufacturer for not making foam rubber bumpers so when you ram someone they get crumpled instead of you just bouncing off their car.

Have a quack doctor operate on you and remove your left nut instead of the cataract from your right eye? Well, that doctor needs to be shot, but having a windfall come your way at the insurance company's expense ain't going to bring your left nut back. Getting his license the fuck taken away may help the next person though.

Hmmm. Here's a thought: Let's take a close look at the peer review process. Doctors have to answer to their peers - other doctors. It is a buddy system.

Yes, they have malpractice insurance to cover the law suits, but stop and think about it:
Q- How often do you hear of a doctor losing their license?
A- Not very.

They have to seriously fuck up on a regular basis before they'll be held accountable. And it almost has to be proven that it was intentional before it's considered serious.

Now I know no one is perfect, and I know medicine is not an exact science. But besides the cost of malpractice insurance, the hoops medical people have to jump through because of the threat of law suits is the biggest reason costs are outrageous. All to cover their asses. Waivers to sign, support personnel to assist, precautionary tests to be taken, all that shit adds up - and fast.

Just think about it the next time you hear yourself thinking something like "I'm gonna sue that bastard for everything he's got!" A litigious society is what we've become, and look where it got us.
As an example, let's compare the medical industry to the average, every day shit.
It ended up costing us more for products, and services, while adding all sorts of pads, nets, stickers, hoods, cowlings, guards, safety bars, warning lights and cumbersome attachments just so we are unable to accidentally hurt ourselves. Sure, we may not be able to so easily stick our foot in the lawnmower, but that lawnmower costs twice as much as it should, simply because now Toro has to crash test one out of every 100 or so lawnmowers to make sure the side impact grass collector can take a punch without little Jimmy getting his finger cut off.
So there's the R&D expense, the added safety equipment cost, the lawsuit insurance cost, and who knows what else they're adding on over in China to meet our so-called 'safety' standards, when really, all that is required is to not be stupid when you're mowing the lawn.

Good gawd. I really got off on a tangent there. I guess to sum it all up, let me say this. Again. Until people start to take some responsibility for your their own fucking actions, own their mistakes, it ain't going to get any better. Sometimes it just ain't no one's fault but your own, and blaming everyone else may save face for yourself, but someone is going to pay. And it will probably be your damn self in other ways.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Fart In The Wind

NAACP symbolically buries N-word

AP - Mon Jul 9, 5:34 PM ET

DETROIT - There was no mourning at this funeral. Hundreds of onlookers cheered Monday afternoon as the NAACP put to rest a long-standing expression of racism by holding a public burial for the N-word during its annual convention.
[...]

"Today we're not just burying the N-word, we're taking it out of our spirit," said Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. "We gather burying all the things that go with the N-word. We have to bury the 'pimps' and the 'hos' that go with it."
[...]

What a fucking joke.

Save for the occasional idiot, no 'Crackers' I know are using that sort of language any more. This bullshit symbolism is nothing more than lip service to keep these phony phukkers employed. They thrive on racism to keep themselves employed. I haven't seen them do anything useful since oh, about the 60's.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Trojan alert"

Groovy. I prefer LifeStyles anyway.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Bank of the West customer service: customer details confirmation!"

Just how many times do I need to send you my user name and password! Write it down this time, would you?

Gee whiz.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHAAARON!

Ozzy Osbourne to help Taiwan in U.N. membership quest

Wed Jul 4, 7:00 AM ET

TAIPEI (Reuters) - After 14 failed attempts at joining the United Nations using media campaigns and presidential appeals, Taiwan is turning to a local goth-style rock band backed by Ozzy Osbourne in its quest for membership to the world body.
[...]

"I think sslfji Tai-Tai-Tai ssdklf Taiwan pwerweeru where I can get kskldf my Thai stick sdlsdf Taiwan lsjdj needs to join skrjeo UN. UN? Whuzzat? eertj Taiwan.... xcxcsddf SHAAARON!! Whass whassat I say here, SHAAARON!! skklsll"




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Muy Caliente Latina"

Great. Now I'm getting spammed by illegals too?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Funny

As stoopid as this pic is, it gave me a bit of a chuckle.

Sorry:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gee Thanks, Lee

So I go to read Lee's blog and it now says:

This blog is open to invited readers only

A slice of life
http://ayearinthelifeoflee.blogspot.com/

It doesn't look like you have been invited to read this blog. If you think this is a mistake, you might want to contact the blog author and request an invitation.

And all along I thought we were friends.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gawddamn Camel Fuckers

Children feared used as shields in Pakistan mosque

51 minutes ago

ISLAMABAD (Reuters) - Fears mounted that women and children were being used as human shields at a besieged mosque in Pakistan's capital on Thursday, as hundreds of militant students ignored a plea from their captured leader to surrender.
[...]

Religion of peace indeed.

Chickenshit ragheaded mutherfuckers.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"tabular angeline mop"

Ooookaaayyy...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Independence Day

I may or may not be doing any posting tomorrow. Depends on just how lazy I get. So here's to a great Independence Day. Toss back a cold one, chew on a hot dog, a burger, maybe an ear of corn while visiting with friends and/or family.

In the meantime, try to ignore all that fucking loud, obnoxious "4TH OF JULY BLOWOUT", "HOT DEALS ON COOL WHEELS", "INDEPENDENCE DAY SELL-ABRATION" bullshit which nowadays is seemingly the basis of the holiday.

Instead, try to remember why exactly the hell we have the day off:

















It wasn't an easy task, but I sure as hell appreciate it.


"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined."

-Patrick Henry





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck Summer

This 110+ degree bullshit can go to hell. Oh, wait. We're already there.

And it's supposed to be getting hotter...

Las Vegas, NV*



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Suck At These Things

Okay, so this nice young lady thinks I need to divulge some information. What the hell, I haven't done many of these and ... is it Friday yet?

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

It's A Blog Eat Blog World
Thoughts, Ideas and Wildfires
Odat Mumbles
Boondoggled
.: Curmudgeonisms :.

Next select five people to tag:

1) You
2) You
3) You
4) You
5) And You

I'm not going to tag anyone. If you're up to it, fill the thing out and post a comment so I can read your responses. I like to read them, but I reckon I don't know who to tag.

Then answer the following questions:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago? Fuck if I know. What year was that?

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Reading memes?

Five snacks I enjoy:
1. Jerky
2. Beer
3. Smoked oysters
4. Cheese
5. 'Clams'


Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Row, Row, Row, Your, Boat,
2. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
3. "Ain't no hair on a billy-goat's balls"
4. A wart on a froggy on the bottom of the pond
5. Enter Sandman
Eeeexit liight! .... Eeenter niight! .... Taaaaake my haaand! .... Off to never-never land!


Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. A million? Shit. That ain't much these days
2. Do you realize that's about what it takes to open a
3. Neighborhood bar and grill?
4. Not that I would want open any business
5. Too many headaches


Five bad habits:
1. Drinkin'
2. Cigars
3. Cussin'
4. Bitchin'
5. Nah, those aren't bad habits.


Five things you would never wear again:
1. Never?
2. Never say never
3. Although, that fishnet g-string wasn't very comfy
4. Not to mention, the gold lamay thong was rather unpleasant too
5. And who could forget the plastic bag on the head


Five favorite toys:
1. SKS
2. .357 magnum
3. Table saw
4. Welder
5. Oxy-acetylene set

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh Really?

One-third of Americans abuse alcohol: survey

2 hours, 47 minutes ago

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Nearly one in three Americans abuse or become dependent on alcohol over the course of their lives, and most never seek treatment, according to a study published on Monday.
[...]

No surprise there. Count me in.

Anyway, speaking of alcohol abuse - all you greenies, thanks:

[...]
Der Spiegel Online reports that a 2006 barley shortage will raise the wholesale price of German beer this May. Many brewing industry lobbyists attribute the price rise to farmers forgoing barley for corn in order to satisfy the global demand for biofuels, especially from the United States. In the past year, the price of barley has doubled on the German market, from €200 to €400 per ton.
[...]

Yup. Since farmers are growing more corn instead of barley here in the U.S. too, beer prices are going to be going up all over.

Just what we need. And it isn't just the cost of barley. Not only are fucking tweekers are stealing kegs and turning them in to recyclers, some people would rather just recycle them and skip their deposit:

Beer makers losing money on missing kegs

[...]
The theft problem is twofold, he said. Some average keg-buying customers opt to forgo their deposits, which can sometimes range from $10 to $30, because they can cover that expense, and then some, if they sell to scrap dealers.

He could not say how much kegs go for, because prices change locally. But given prices metal trading prices in the past year, a keg could fetch from $15 to $55 or more at scrap yards.
[...]

Once again, pass the cost on to us beer drinkers.

And on top of that, check this shit:

Everyone shows ID for beer in Tenn.

AP - Sat Jun 30, 11:36 PM ET Sent 597 times

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Comer Wilson hasn't had to show his ID to buy beer in a while. Maybe it's the 66-year-old man's long white beard. Starting Sunday, gray hair won't be good enough. Wilson and everyone else will be required to show identification before buying beer in Tennessee stores — no matter how old the buyer appears.
[...]

How fucking stupid.

I don't don't have a problem with cashiers I.D.-ing someone who looks say, 30 or less. But come one now. If you're too stupid to be able to tell if someone who is obviously legal age - like 60, you shouldn't be working there.

Fucking nannies.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Claim your new John Deere Lawn Tractor"

WOOHOO!! Now that's something I could use!

If I had a lawn.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject Of The Day

You've received a greeting ecard from a school-mate!
You've received a greeting ecard from a worshipper!
You've received a postcard from a old friend!

Wow! What to do with all this attention!


Fuckwads.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~