No Excitement

Sorry. No good posts, no good news stories, not nothing except that there's a 3 day weekend coming up and I plan on enjoying it.

Y'all do the same, eh?




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Quote Of The Day

Sayeth Squid:

"I am not bipolar and neither am I."

BWAAAHHH!!!



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"are you kidding me? lol"

Uh, no. Again I say, fuck off.




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A Funny

This has to be one of the worst pick-up lines ever. Funny though:

Q- What has 148 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk?
A- My fly.


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Sasquatch

Bigfoot May Gain Protection by Canadian Parliament

A member of the Canadian Mounted Police by the name of Mike Lake has officially notified the Canadian Parliament that he believes that Bigfoot should be added to the Nation's, Species at Risk Act. This is similar to the Endangered Species List in the United States.

According to Mr. Lake, the creature that is also known as the Sasquatch is real, and is endangered. The reason, he says that there have not been more sightings in North America of Bigfoot is because the creature is endangered, not necessarily shy like many believe.
[...]

Dude. That must be some good shit you're smokin'.

But then again...




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Speaking Of Engrish

"One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"


[+/-] Say what?



Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes...I'd like some bacon and eggs"

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San tos. July San tos?"

G: "I don't think so"

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No...just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

G: "You're where-cum."

* A telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia.




Stolen from Roger.

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Respect

I don't know what brought it on, but I was thinking of something this morning.

I've been asked before why I got divorced. Well, the reason behind it was that there was a lack of respect for each other's lifestyle.

Her not respecting my lifestyle was along these lines. I worked in a dirty old coal mine, didn't drink, and was sort of laid back.
Her lifestyle on the other hand, was that she enjoyed fucking the neighbors.

So there you have it.



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Kids Today

Toys 'R' Us to recall 27,000 coloring cases

Reuters - 1 hour, 9 minutes ago

(Reuters) - Retailer Toys 'R' Us Inc has voluntarily recalled 27,000 units of Imaginirium wooden coloring cases that were made in China, due to violation of lead paint standard, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said.
[...]

See, I think that's the problem with kids today. It isn't the nanny state do-gooders or the sissy parents or over regulated schools making kids turn soft.
See, back in my day, we had leaded paint, saccharine, mothers smoking and drinking while pregnant, tap water, you get the picture.
These days, kids aren't getting enough chemicals and minerals like nicotine, alcohol, chlorine, fluoride and lead in their diets. They're turning into a bunch of losers and pussies. They need these things to toughen them up a bit.






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Oh! The Humanity!

Colo. school bans tag on its playground

AP - Thu Aug 30, 7:44 AM ET

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.
[...]

My goodness. It's about time! We can't have such dangerous activities going on at our schools. I'm glad they finally saw this dangerous game for what it is.




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News You Can Use

Foot-tapping ritual common in sex sting

By STEVE KARNOWSKI, Associated Press Writer Wed Aug 29, 10:33 PM ET

MINNEAPOLIS - A foot-tapping ritual was a common thread in many of the 41 arrests reported during a four-month airport bathroom sting that snared Sen. Larry Craig.

An undercover officer would take a seat in a stall. Soon another man would sit in the stall next door and start tapping his foot, perhaps moving it closer to the officer's. The officer would move his foot up and down slowly. The suspect might then extend his hand under the divider between the stalls, sometimes repeatedly.
[...]

Okay, I wouldn't be caught dead 'extending my hand' under the adjacent stall, but I may on occasion tap my foot whilst taking care of business. That shit ends right here and now. I won't be taking any chances of giving off the wrong sort of signal.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Just wanted to say hi"

Hi. Now fuck off.




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Some Funnies

These all gave me a giggle. Methinks someone has too much time on their hands.

First off, we have Mr. Before/After:





Next, we have Mr. Balloon man:



And last, a good prank for the upcoming Halloween season:



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"hmmmmmmmmmm me@myemail.com, do you wanna... ya know what... come get some!"

Some what?



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The "Jesus" Card

I wasn't going to comment on the fucked up Michael Vick scenario any more, because frankly, I'm sick of it. It's a truckload of bullshit.
I'm not talking about the dog fighting itself, that goes without saying. I'm talking about all the attention it's getting. Past the PETA's of the world, past the Humane Society and ASPCA. Media whores are latching on to it like - well, like pitbulls.

I tried to watch the Monday Night Football game last night and what did I see? Rookies trying to earn a place on the team? No, guess again.
Did I see a spectacular offense or defense and a well played chess match between two great teams? Nope. Not that either.

What I saw were numerous spotlights on black people in #7 jerseys. No other ethnicity, just black.
Then there were the interviews with whoever they could dig up to comment on "what a great loss this is to the Falcons team", how "Vick would have handled the scenario on the field differently" and other useless bullshit totally unrelated to the game. Nothing from the other side of the argument. How what the asshole was mean, cruel, inhumane, and oh - by the way, it is illegal.
No, the sportscasters weren't talking about how grabbing a dog by the legs and slamming it on the ground to bash it's fucking skull or break its back is wrong, they weren't cordially discaussing how hanging a dog from a tree kicking and writhing until it has suffocated is wrong, nor were they jawing about how putting a gun to a dogs head and blowing its gawddamn brains all over the grass and weeds is wrong.
No, all they had to comment on was how the team would perform missing yet another high paid, fucked-up asshole criminal.

I know, it wasn't a regular season game as far as the stats go, but to the newbies on the field trying to do their best and succeed in the NFL, this was the most important game of their career. The asshole sportscasters could have respected that at least.

So try as they might, the media played the "race" card and it didn't help anyone but the sports stores selling jerseys. So what else do we have up our sleeves? Why, the the "Jesus" card of course. Yup, that's right. he's found Jeebus, is sorry, and should be forgiven.

Yeah, that fucker is sorry alright. Sorry he got caught.




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I'm Famous

Freddie asks:

"Have you been told you look like someone? Do tell."

Well, first of all, I ain't got shit to say today. Not only is the muse not there, but if there were anything to write, it would be laced with insanity and profanity. This morning was fucked, this day is fucked, my attitude is fucked, people are fucked, stupid people are even more fucking fucked...

See? What did I tell you!!! Okay, that's it. I'll go back to what I was doing. Which was answering Freddie's question.
Yes, I've been not only told I looked like some famous people, but also told I was lying when I refuted it.

Anyway...

The first time I was told I looked like someone famous was on a fishing trip in central Nevada. My brother, a friend of ours and I were staying at a hotel and the desk clerk thought I was Steven Spielberg. Not that I just looked like him, but that I was him.
I guess I'm stupid, scrupulous, ... something. I don't know what, but I didn't work on a discount, upgrade, free breakfast or anything. Just explained I wasn't who he thought I was, and let it go.

That was the first time. I've been told a few other times I looked like Spielberg.

Another time, I was riding in an elevator at a hotel in Las Vegas. Mrs. Curmudgeon and I were attending her Christmas excuse me, "Holiday Party" (fucking p.c. assholes) which was at this hotel. We had a room for the night, as neither of us planned on driving afterward, and I needed to go back to the room for something unimportant to the story.
So there I was in the elevator, and there were two women in with me who were behaving most oddly. Sort of whispering to each other, looking, giggling, and so on. Of course, being all decked out in holiday attire the Mrs had picked out for me and also a bit tipsy, I was being quite self-conscious. With all the glancing and giggling directed toward me I naturally assumed my tie was on backwards, I had half a roll of toilet paper hanging off my shoe, my underwear was outside my pants or some damn thing.
Finally, they found the courage to ask me "Aren't you Phil Jackson? The Lakers coach?"
I chuckled and told them "I wish. I could use the money."
They wouldn't believe me for a while, after the elevator let us out and we were walking down the hallway. I had to go back and forth with them a couple times before they finally relented. I don't really think they ever did believe I wasn't Phil.


So. Any of you kind folks resemble anyone I know?




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Movies Suck

The latest in film publicity? A barf bag

Reuters - Mon Aug 27, 8:43 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Here's one way to appeal to one segment of the youthful male market so beloved by film producers -- package your DVD with its own "barf bag."
[...]

It's about fucking time. Most movies coming out now warrant a barf bag anyway.

I won't waste money at a theater any more. The movies usually suck, the price of a ticket and snacks could feed a family in Ethiopia for a month, and the other attendees are usually a truckload of teens dropped off by their parents, brimming with raging hormones, wanting to fuck or get fucked in the worst way but don't know how to go about it, so instead they run around squealing like - well, a bunch of teens brimming with raging hormones, wanting to fuck or get fucked in the worst way but don't know how to go about it.

So I get DVDS. At least if the movie sucks, I can shut it off and watch another one.





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Cool

So did any of you folks either stay up late or get up early and see the lunar exclipse?

I was up early enough to see the last remnants. It was already starting to move out of Earth's shadow, so the northwest limb was starting to turn light again, but the rest still had the orange-red color. It looked awesome.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

Text here.

"My new guy's member is enormous, and my mouth is tiny."

Do I sense a pattern here?




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"Serves" Him Right

His new uniform:






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A Short Lesson In World History

Via e-mail:

My apologies to any offended by this enlightening message. Not.

For those that don't know about history... here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.
This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

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Spam Subject Of The Day

"LOL, that is too cool....."

LOL! OMFG! ROFL! GO FUCK YOURSELF! BWAH HAH!

Yeah, same subject several times? Must be real. I'm gonna open that fucker right up!



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Eye Bleach Requested

Definitely not work or democrat safe:
[+/-] show/hide picture







Thanks Guy!


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Spam Subject Of The Day

"my oh my oh my [myemailaddress], That's what she'll be saying.... ;)"

That's what they all say!



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Why Not?

All the cool bloggers are doing it. I guess if I'm going to be cool, I hafta do it too:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.2
Mind:	8.4
Body:	8
Spirit:	9.2
Friends/Family:	6.3
Love:	8.2
Finance:	7.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

So then it says:

"Your Spirit score is very high, much higher than the average. If you wouldn't mind, please take a little time to explain how you manage to succeed so well at this aspect of your life. Your words may be read by someone else who scored very low. Take a moment to give them some useful advice. Your thoughts are very much appreciated."

Mr reply:

Well, I don't do stress and I don't listen to rap. I work for a living during the week and play on weekends. and if YOU don't work for a living and/or listen to rap, you can ki$$ my a$$.

That fucking rap shit is a bunch of pissed off losers perform for people who need to somehow get an artificial attitude.

Note: Nowhere in the above statement will you find the word "music" either.

And people who choose not to work for a living when they really need to, deserve to not be able to feed or insure their kids. Simple as that. And if they think the government should be taxing me extra for those benefits, they too can kiss my fuzzy white ass.





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WOOHOO!!!

Atlanta considers banning baggy pants

AP - 1 hour, 50 minutes ago

ATLANTA - Baggy pants that show boxer shorts or thongs would be illegal under a proposed amendment to Atlanta's indecency laws.
[...]

Now that all the world's other problems have been solved, we can get rid of stupid clothing!

I would like to see it happen myself, but it won't.

Hey kid. Pull your fucking pants up, put your fucking hat on straight, lose the rap shit, and get a fucking job. Maybe you won't end up in jail or dead.



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What Defense

Rangers hit 30 for highest score in 110 years

I'll bet that game was just effing thrilling to watch. Yawn.

I wonder how many Oriole fans were left at the end of the game?



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"From: Cat Lovers"

Oh yes. That's me alright.






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Fuck Chinese Shit

Chinese blankets recalled over chemical


By RAY LILLEY, Associated Press Writer 2 hours, 43 minutes ago

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Chinese-made blankets containing high levels of formaldehyde have been recalled across Australia and New Zealand, the distributor said Wednesday, amid rising global concern over the safety of products from China.
[...]

More recalled shit?

First there was the tainted pet food, tainted toothpaste, leaded paint in toys, tires, chopsticks and now blankies?

Personally, I'm glad China is getting all this recognition as being the cheap, conniving, underhanded, underpaying, forced laboring, people using, child laboring underselling, lying, cheating bastards they really are.

Maybe we need to start looking into making 'better' instead of 'cheaper' in this world of ours.

Fuck them and their win for the Olympic bid. Fuck them and their cheap shit. Fuck them and their commy pinko government. Fuck them and their dollar-a-day wages. Jeebus. Americans were making a dollar a day back in oh, 1930 or so.

I say let that mass producing 'industrial' country keep their shit, or maybe ship it all to Ethiopia or somewhere where no one has anything. I don't want it in my house.




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Owie!

Russian woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis

Wed Aug 22, 4:59 AM ET

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said on Wednesday.
[...]

Okay, uh, how?



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Coupla Phunnies

First, my hero. Andy Capp:

And now, The Wizard of Id:


Ain't it the truth.



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Sofa King Cool

I've been using Google Earth for a year or two now and enjoy the hell out of it. If you've never used it, you should give it a try. Of course, you shouldn't bother if you're using dial-up as it is quite the bandwidth hog.

For those not familiar with it, it is an interactive tour of the entire planet composed of satellite images, some of which have extremely good resolution, and some not so much.

Google recently updated it though, to point the other direction. Toward the sky. You can now use it to tour the stars! Planets, galaxies, nebulae, all sorts of shit.

Here's a link to get it:
Google Earth
GO! What are you waiting for!?




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Re: cough an dial neuralgia"

Uh, yeah.




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A Funny

Sad or not, I fucking LAUGHED!!!





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Thought You Should Know

One of the vacation days last week (yes - the one I have yet to post pictures of) was spent driving south from northern California through the famed 'wine country' to get to where we had a room reserved for the night, many, many miles down the road.

Around 2 or 3 p.m., after being in the car for at least 6+ hours, wanting to stretch, ready for some lunch, and generally a little punchy, we were driving through a small town which sported a small tavern on main street named "Copa Cabana". I know, I hear the collective Good Gawd!

That itself wasn't a good thing, but wait. It gets worse.

So there I am, tired, thirsty, hungry, punchy, and well, brain dead or something. I don't know. But out it slipped. The inside of the car soon reverberated with - yes - you guessed it, "♫♪♫ At the Copa, Copa Cabana. ♫♫♪ The hottest spot north of Havana... ♫♪♪"

Mrs. Curmudgeon: Uh, Dave...

Curmudgeon: Yeeees?

Mrs. Curmudgeon: Uh, those of us in this generation... first, don't even admit we know the lyrics to that song, and second... don't sing it out loud.

Curmudgeon: Very true. All done.




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The Nuge

Ted Nugent might run for Governor of Michigan

[...]
"Michigan was once a great state. Michigan was a state that rewarded the entrepreneur and the most productive, work-ethic families of the state. Now the pimps and the whores and the welfare brats are basically the state's babies."
[...]

Good gawd-a-mighty. I wish that dude lived in Nevada. I would vote for him in a heartbeat.




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Plunk

Blind golfer hears shot of her career

AP - Mon Aug 20, 10:07 PM ET

LEHIGHTON, Pa. - Sheila Drummond didn't need to see her hole-in-one. She heard it. Drummond, blinded by diabetes 26 years ago, experienced the highlight of her golfing career Sunday, recording an ace on the 144-yard, par-3 fourth hole at Mahoning Valley Country Club.
[...]

Reminds me of a joke:

Stevie Wonder was at the country club drinking as Tiger Woods finishes his round.
Being all tanked up, he gets a bit mouthy and says to Tiger "You ain't shit. I'll bet $50,000 I can kick your ass."

Tiger says "Oh yeah? Well you just name the place and time!"

So Stevie says "Okay, right here at this course, ten o'clock tonight!"





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Spam Subject Of The Day

" I stopped dating boys after high school...... My girlfriend Brianna knows exactly what I want........"

Oh? And what might that be, a nice car? A mink coat? Lots of money?




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Back In The Saddle.

Yes, I'm back to the normal routine. Thanks again for all the well wishes and comments. I have around 500-600 pictures to sift through before I post any though, so I hope y'all can hold out for a day or so. That's the trouble with digital cameras. It's a good thing to be able take way too many pictures, where you can keep the good ones and and delete the bad ones rather than get them all printed and just throw the bad ones away, but there seems to be a lot more to go through.

Anyway, I'll get them all sorted out soon and throw them up on the intarweb so they can be seen by all. And I'll pop in and visit you folks' blogs when I get a bit caught up.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"My boyfriend's pecker is too big for my mouth."

Hmmm. Seems I have something in common with your boyfriend.




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No Spam Subject Of The Day

Update: Yes, we're back home now. Thanks for all the well wishes and good cheer!
I know, I didn't get any more pictures put up here whilst on the road, but some soon to follow. After I wake up.



Wow. This is a chore. I usually start the day with a spam subject, but hey.

I'm On Vacation!!!

So I ain't gonna harsh my mellow, ya know?

So here's the deal. We're in lovely San Francisco. Staying in the union square area at an old hotel. Cool town so far. If you are adept at avoiding bums anyway. Good gaaaawd-a-mighty, they're proliferant around here. Every ten feet it seems. And that's just the ones lounging around. Add in the ones on the move, and I think half the population of San Fran is bums. The other half being tourists. Except for the half that are fags of course.

Oh well. So far we've had a good time. Got to see some sights like Fisherman's Wharf, Pier 39, submarine tour, Golden Gate bridge and park, ... The usuals. We took a "City Tour" that showed us to all the hot spots. Highly recommended if you don't know where everything is.

So here are a couple pictures snagged from the camera. I'll be uploading them all eventually to my web site, but here is a teaser:

Morning fog on Market Street near our hotel:


Mrs Curmudgeon and I near ... take a guess:


A nifty pic of the ocean:


Victorians and skyline:


Torpedo tubes in the submarine:


Control room on submarine:


And of course, no trip to Frisco is complete without a ride on a trolley car:



After San Francisco, we'll be heading north to the redwoods and wine country, so there will be more pictures. Check back later!


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I Think, Therefore I ... Uh, I Can't Remember

Evidently I think, This Princess thinks I think. I think not. I don't think I think that much. But come to think of it, maybe I think more than some thinkers think. Ya think?

Well anyway S.G., thanks for thinking I'm a thinker. I think.

BWAH!!! Enough of that shit!

The rules is, you gots to think [there it is again] of 5 other bloggers you think [bwah!!!] are 'Thinking Bloggers'. [Getting sick of it yet?]
Well, trouble is, I'm sorta preoccupied today. I'll be gone on vacation for a week and what with last minute touch-ups, I just don't have time left in the day for any decent blog perusal, tagging or posts.

So I'll try and give it a go when I get back.

In the meantime, I may take the notebook along and maybe do a little posting on the road. If not I'll see you kind folks in a week or so, 'cause

I'm On Vacation!!!

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More Big Brother

I figgered this was only a matter of time:

Overweight? Prepare to Pay Up

Should Employers Be Able to Charge You for Being Overweight?

With health-care costs rising, some large employers are taking radical new steps to cut corners: They're charging overweight employees a fee if they don't slim down.
[...]

I warned about it here, and sure as shit, it's coming to pass.

Nannies say they want to "take care of us". But if you believe they are doing it for YOUR own good, you're an idiot. Their agenda and their pocketbooks are the only things they are concerned with.



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This Is News?

From the "Who gives a flying fuck" files:

Parking-lot fender bender for Britney

Thu Aug 9, 10:53 PM ET

LOS ANGELES - Oops, she dinged it again. Paparazzi took pictures and videos of a puppy-toting Britney Spears steering her car into another one as she tried to turn into a spot in a Studio City parking lot. Then assessing the damage to her own car only. Then heading off to shop.
[...]

Yawn. Let me know when she O.D.'s or something.

In the meantime, you people reporting on this shit need to get a life.



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Fuck Off Friday

Yes, it's time for another Fuck Off Friday. It's been quite a while, so I'm way overdue.
Sometimes there are just too many things going on and I don't get the chance, and other times I just don't feel inspired. It's not like there isn't anyone deserving of the spotlight, lawdy knows there are plenty who do.

Anyway, for those who don't know, the premise of "Fuck Off Friday" usually revolves around screwing around on your last work day before the upcoming weekend. Fuck Off Friday around here means I get to spotlight some fucking idiot and tell them to Fuck Off. (For prior issues, see the links below.)

So this F.O.F. revolves around a certain ass boil that just seems to keep rising and festering, but refuses to pop and go away:

Sheehan announces House candidacy

AP - Thu Aug 9, 6:28 PM ET

SAN FRANCISCO - A tearful Cindy Sheehan cited her son, killed in Iraq, as her inspiration as she announced her candidacy Thursday for the U.S. House against Rep. Nancy Pelosi.
[...]

Ah, there she goes with the alligator tears again. Good gawd. Give it a rest bitch. Get a new hobby. Your worthless ass hasn't done anything constructive for your cause yet, and you're going to fail miserably at any elected office you try to attain.

First of all, her only agenda is the war. She would never amount to anything for other issues. And her in the "House of Representatives"? If she was from my state, I sure as hell wouldn't be wanting someone with that strong of narrow minded personal agenda to "represent". And running against Pelosi? HAH! It is to laugh.

So Cindy Shithand, you're a disgrace to the country and even more, your family.

Fuck Off!

I'm sure your son would be so veeeeeerrrrrry proud of you.

Bitch.



Prior "Fuck Off"s:
Rappers
Halloweenies
Harry Reid
Celebrity attention whores
Gun Fearing Wussys



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"A Place For Lonely Wives & Cheating Husbands"

Since when did they start spamming for bars?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Good Read

I've been meaning to do this for a couple days now, but after such flattery I couldn't help but direct you folks to her place.

I know I referenced British Bird in a previous post, but it was in the form of a question. This time it's in the form of a recommendation.

Go over to her blog and give it a read. She has a husband in the Coast Guard and is rightfully, very proud of his service.

She has posted some videos which - some are funnier than hell, and some are quite serious, but all are good.

Go give her a read, and wish her luck at her new job. She has plenty of good posts, is very nice, and on top of all that, she's a looker! ;)




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Quote Of The Day

From some random, unimportant site.

All you granola-munching, tree-hugging, bong-sucking, libtarded hippies ought to love this one:

"Strip mining prevents forest fires"

BWAH!





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Ain't It The Truth

I wonder if Slick Willy has one of these in the drawer:




Want one of your own? Order it here!



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Okay Bird, maybe you or this bird can answer me a question. What in the hell is it with the U.K. and their beef?:

UK farmers resume slaughter

Thu Aug 9, 3:51 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Farmers in Britain resumed sending animals to slaughter on Thursday after a ban on the movement of livestock to prevent an outbreak of foot and mouth disease from spreading was lifted in most of the country.
[...]

With mad cow disease a big thing a few years ago and now this, it seems like they're making news way too often.

I don't think I would be having much of a craving for a cheeseburger if I traveled over there.


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Let's See Now. Play With Fire, And You Might Get Burned

Playboy Mansion at center of sexual assault claim

Thu Aug 9, 6:14 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The Los Angeles Police Dept. said on Wednesday it was investigating an allegation of sexual assault at the Playboy Mansion, the famed site of unabashed hedonism for more than 30 years.
[..]

Is this supposed to surprise us? Is it oddness? Has it possibly happened before and never been reported?

Come the fuck on. You're a hot female all drunked up and high, waltzing around in jammies with a bunch of drunk and high horn-dog guys in the room, and you expect to not get propositioned or felt up? Just how fucking stupid are you?

Now I ain't saying anyone deserves unwilling advances and such, I'm just saying that if you put yourself in certain situations, don't be surprised if you get what you ask for.


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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Just don't tell my Parents I'm doing this..... they really do not need to know..... ;)"

Oh come on now. You're 37 and still living in their basement while mommy still makes your bed. I'm sure they already know.




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All You Need To Know

I 'borrowed' this picture from The Hermit:




Too bad some have already forgotten that lesson.



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Interesting

Cambodia and Vietnam to build cross-border golf course
Reuters - 2 hours, 59 minutes ago

PHNOM PENH (Reuters) - Cambodia and Vietnam are going to build a $100 million (49.2 million pounds) golf course straddling their border in a region heavily bombed by U.S. forces in their anti-communist war in the 1960s and 70s, officials said on Wednesday.
[...]

I don't really give a shit about the political ramifications or the fact that these commie countries are sort of making some type of peace to build a golf course.

What's notable about it is this. The part where they said "heavily bombed". Can you imagine the plethora of bunkers on that thing?

Sounds like a rather challenging course to me.


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Now There's A Thought

From the "Blatently Obvious" files:

Nine in 10 Americans say ban texting while driving

Reuters - Tue Aug 7, 10:36 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Ninety-one percent of Americans believe sending text messages while driving is as dangerous as driving after having a couple of drinks, but 57 percent admit to doing it, a poll released Tuesday said.
[...]

Gee. Maybe it would be wise to not read the newspaper or a novel while you're driving either.

Fuck sakes. Most people can't even drive decent while they're talking on a phone while looking straight ahead. What the hell makes them think they can drive while looking at the display sending messages?



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Young and horny"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.




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Yeah, Right

Van Halen, Roth to announce tour next week

Reuters - Tue Aug 7, 5:39 AM ET Sent 1,654 times

NASHVILLE (Billboard) - Van Halen will announce a 50-date American reunion tour with original singer David Lee Roth during a news conference in Hollywood next week, sources said.
[...]

These guys are so fucked up, it will be interesting to see if they can really pull it off. First, they have to stay out of rehab long enough to get on the tour bus, then they have to get along with each other for ... how long?

Yeah. Fat chance.

Too bad Michael Anthony won't be tagging along though. Diamond Dave may be the lead vocalist/front man, but Michael is 'the' backup vocalist.



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Coal Miners

I want you all to keep a close watch on this story:

Rescuers work to find trapped Utah coal miners

By James Nelson Tue Aug 7, 6:30 AM ET

HUNTINGTON, Utah (Reuters) - Rescue crews worked through the predawn darkness on Tuesday on ways to find six miners trapped 1,500 feet underground after a coal mine collapsed in central Utah.
[...]

If you didn't already know, I used to be a coal miner. In this area. I know these people. And I've dug people out from under cave-ins before. It's a scary business.

I can't say I know who the miners are as I haven't heard their names yet. But there is a good possibility I know them or their families. I do know the sheriff. He's 'talked' to me a time or two in the past.

Anyway, best wishes to them and their families, and here's hoping for a a speedy rescue.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"My boyfriend's member keeps slipping out."

I'm sure it does. With your help of course.




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Fuck ESPN

And any other media source involved in reporting 'sports'.

The gawdd-amn headlines are all full of shit like "steroids", "shooting", "drugs", "arrest", "pitbulls"...

Of course, we all know of Michael Vic's dumb-assery, then there's 'Pac-man' Jones and his involvement in a shooting, Steroids at the Tour de France, and so on.
It seems that every time some high priced, overpaid athlete makes it in the big time, they turn stupid. I mean, how can you make that much money and not just enjoy it? How can one do such stupid shit like these big names do? Beyond me.

But when one does something noteworthy, they of course are accused of cheating. Tested for drugs, blah-blah-blah. Bunch of fucked up sore losers I think.

First, look at Lance Armstrong. He kicked ass, and the sorry-ass french accused him of doping. Barry Bonds is fixing to break Hank Aaron's record and people are getting all pissy.
Look, he was never convicted of steroid use. Let him make his record and let's move the hell on. Records are made to be broken. Someday, someone is going to com along and break his record too.

Anyway, fuck sportscasters. I don't watch them anyway.



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This Day In History

From The History Channel:

Japan rethinks their decision of not surrendering to the U.S.:

Yet another use for the wonderful energy that is electricity is found:
1890 : First execution by electric chair


One of the most boring artists in history is born:
1928 : Andy Warhol is born



The biggest mouth in show business is born:
1911 : Lucille Ball

Well, I reckon that's about it for today.

Oh sure, there are some other things that happened. Go check it out if you want.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"I need some help"

I'll say you do.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Read about ceos with mba"

And why? So I can just get pissed off?




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A Funny

This cracked me the hell up.

Go ahead, click on it. It will open in a new window.

"God's Inbox"

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He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Erica has a post talking about how during times of tragedy, we as the human race always come together and help each other out when the help is really needed the most.

Ten-year-old Kaleigh Swift, left, and her friend Olivia Reynolds describe how they were rescued from the school bus stuck on the Interstate 35W bridge that collapsed on Wednesday over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis

Special Deputy Eric Hurman makes his way up the bank of the Mississippi River with his diving equipment as the search continues for victims...

Members of Medicine Lake Fire and Rescue bring up a rescue craft...

A Red Cross volunteer, left, escorts two unidentified people as they leave a support center where family members seeking information on missing loved ones from the bridge collapse...

A man comforts an unidentified victim injured in the collapse...

People surround an injured woman on the sidewalk along West River Parkway...

Of course, any other time and us members of the human race seem to be a bunch of fuckheads:
























































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